To wonder why dog owners get offended because mychild is scared of their dog?

[hoovercraft]

My ds is really really scared of strange dogs. Its something thats quite upsetting and we dont know where it has come from. We are trying our best to work with it.

Went out yesterday to a local park/woods and there were many dogs. Ds was almost crippled with fear when he saw a dog approaching...we held his hands and reassured him.One barked and he cried. We hadnt realised he would be so scared tbh but the barking dog set us up for a looooong walk back to the car that day.

What I dont understand is why dog owners get so angry because my child is scared. We made no comment about them...heck, its a park, they are allowed to walk their dogs ffs. I even went overboard telling him not to worry when most dogs went past.....it was a lovely dog, a happy tail wagging dog, it wont hurt you etc and all we got were glares and rather nasty "it wont HURT you know!".
Whats that all about then?

Goldenbear you are missing my point entirely. I do not want people or children to say hello to my dogs. I walk my dogs for exercise and training the get plenty of opportunity to be socialised with people other than on their walks. So why do some (idiot) parents assume that it is OK fo rthem to invite their child to say hello to my dogs when they/we are midninbg our own business and attempting to stay away from them?

If I ever take my dogs anywhere there are people and maybe it has a lot to do with the fact the breed are percieved as 'friendly' I can absolutely guarantee someone will try and say hello to them or prompt their child to say hello to them without asking me if it is OK.

Of course, not all parents like this, but equally not all dog owners want strangers to coo over their dogs.

Lovesdogsandcats - are you serious?

To describe a parent as an 'idiot' for encouraging a child to say 'hello' to a dog seems a little harsh. I don't see lots of parents encouraging their children to COO over dogs. What I do see are children interested in a dog going past them (if they are not scared) and saying, 'hello dog' but not touching them, the parent half interested in the said animal saying something like 'yes, how sweet or how funny', just to aknowledge their interest. I am unsure what is idiotic about being civilised. Do you honestly expect people to ask you permission to pass comments? As I said before you are referring to both children and dogs as if they are the same and should be dealt with in the same way so in this sense I can appreciate that you do not understand what I'm trying to say.

I'm not talking about people passing comments. I am talking about people walking up to my dogs and touching or walking past and sticking their hands out at them without first asking me if it is OK.

Y
Yes, I expect people to ask my permission before touching my dogs and yes, these people are idiots. How do they know my dog won't bite them? Now, I know that's not going to happen, but how do they?

I am not for one second suggesting or thinking that dogs and childen are the same (I have many of each and can clearly tell the difference) what I am saying is that not all dog owners are the same, just as not all parents/people are the same.

You're right Lovesdogsandcats - we should stop going to the beach until May when dogs aren't allowed again

Lovesdogsandcats yes what a practical suggestion?? I mean this totally irrational fear should be addressed before stepping out the front door. Maybe a therapist could help him with his completely irrational sense of self preservation! Tell me do provide therapy for your cats to overcome their fear of your dogs?

These dog threads are something else.

Lovesdogsandcats
Why should children have to avoid parks and woods to facilitate dog owners who cannot show a bit of consideration and keep their dog on a s lead and away from strangers in public places??

this comes into action in 6 weeks and means there will be plenty of places to take children where dogs will not jump out at them unless their owners do the same

only in warwick and leamington though

Yes I was being sarcastic, sorry, just highlighting how ops life will be hell until this fear is addressed. I have dogs, I keep mine under control, however I do see on a daily basis, dogs running up to kids on parks etc and really, no amount of slagging off dog owners is going to stop dogs off leads going up to people who don't want them to.

YANBU - And thats going from a dog owner of 3!

It really frustrates me how genuinely annoyed some dog owners are by little people who are seriously scared of dogs!

When we take out our two big dogs (they are Siberian Huskys so big wolf type dogs). I have both of them on short leads next to me and they are never let off or extended UNLESS we are in an area where we can see as far infront of us as possible and no there will be no one coming in the other direction.

We often come across Mums and toddlers, and it's usually quite obvious if the little one is really quite nervous or scared. If I can obviously see they are not keen, I pull Kira right in aside me and put her the other side of the child and walk on by.

If for what ever reason the Mum is quite keen to let the child look at our dogs, I usually sit her down and face her slightly away from the child, so they can stroke her back. She's usually really good.
www.mumsnet.com/info/netiquette
We never try to force the dogs onto other people/children, and really do try to be careful. I had a really big fear of big dogs when I was small so I completely understand where you are coming from.

I really dont think you are being unreasonable. :)

midori1999, maybe they assume it won't bite them if it is roaming freely in a public space or if it was prone to biting maybe they would assume it would be wearing a muzzle or if it was on a lead pulling at it. Jumping up and snarling then human instinct is not to go near it. A child is hardly likely to 'coo' over such a dog. I think these are all perfectly logical conclusions that passers by may come to. No they shouldn't be patting YOUR dog without asking but interaction with others is a necessary part of life if you have not chosen the life of a hermit!

'maybe they assume it won't bite them if it is roaming freely in a public space or if it was prone to biting maybe they would assume it would be wearing a muzzle or if it was on a lead pulling at it.' well then they assume wrongly.

My terrier has been aggressive in the past, only ever to me and DH, never the general public. I won't let children stop and fuss him just incase. He is not the most friendly of dogs. He doesn't pull at his lead, he is trained to walk nicely by my side. I see no reason to muzzle him, as he has never bitten anyone or tried to (aside from me and DH). He also sufffers a skin condition and can be snappy when he is in pain or uncomfortable.

I generally avoid places where I know children will be when we are out with him, or I cross to a different path if I see children. He is small and fluffy so people presume he is fine.

Yes, you're right, they shouldn't be touching my dog without my permission.

You can absolutely guarantee that if someone let their child run up to someone's dog and touch it and the dog got upset/frightened and bit the child, the parent wouldn't be blaming themselves or the child.

Yes, people should keep their dogs away from strangers and in the same vein people should nto allow their children to approach dogs without the owners permisision, especially on lead dogs. (not least for the child's own safety)

No, YANBU.

I love dogs and have dogs but if someone - child or adult - looks a bit nervous I call the dogs to me/put them onlead even though they haven't made a move in the direction of said nervous person. It's just courtesy.

With children I often ask the parent, once the dog/s is/are onlead, if the child would like to come and say hello and sometimes they do.

I just don't see all these children running up to dogs. Where I live it is not possible to keep your distance from dogs. It is a densely populated city by the sea. The parks and seaside are popular and interaction is a necessary part of life here.

Goldenbear, do you have a dog?

YANBU. Your child is a human being and has more rights than a dog, sorry. I cannot stand people who treat their dogs like they are human. And as for the 'Oh, it won't hurt you' crap, how many people have been bitten and scarred for life by their so-called friendly family pet? All dogs have the potential to turn, and for that reason I would never own one.

I get it a lot when I am out with my Whippet GoldenBear, not so much with the terrier because as I said we avoid places where there will be lots of children.

With my Whippet I have to set off on the school run at least ten minutes early, so that people can stop to fuss her. She wears a coat, hops like a Kangaroo when she is excited and wags her tail so hard her whole body vibrates. All the children think she is hilarious.

I don't mind stopping when we are just walking, but it can get annoying if we are doing training and are interupted, and it is quite obvious that we are training her.

I've owned dogs in the past, and I think you'll find that most dog owners are just as worried about their dog bothering you as you are of the dog bothering you. It's mortifying when your idiot labradors go bounding up to a child who is clearly afraid. The occasions when it happens and the "dont worry he wont bite" line is shouted is because the owner can probably see you're both acting defensively around their beloved mutt.

What can you do? All dogs on a lead at all times? Mass cull of all dogs? Sonic dog repellant? Sorry, but I thought that was hilarious. I can just imagine a poodle getting mentally tasered for straying within the exclusion zone.

Seems a bit much, doesn't it? Maybe we can work it out using languange and social norms. You know, like human beings.

Before he gets a complex, get your kid some dog time. And give him some simple rules to live by around dogs. Firstly, don't be afraid because the chance of a dog being dangerous is very slim. There are 7 million of the hairy idiots (dogs that is) in the UK, and of those around 3000 will hurt someone in any given year. Compare that to pretty much anything else, like driving for instance, and the odds are heavily in your favour that all will be fine.

Most dogs are happy-go-lucky morons more interested in sniffing at you and moving on than savaging your face off. If this wasn't the case, we wouldn't own them. Secondly, all he has to do is stand still and wait a few seconds for the owner to call their dog back. Dogs don't really care about people they don't know, they're just curious.

Finally, teach him the right way to handle petting a strange dog as it will help him overcome his fear if he knows what he's doing. Step one, ask the owner if you can pet the dog. Step two, hold your hand out in a fist for the dog to sniff, then you can pet him confidently and quite firmly. Little hands sneaking around the back of a dogs range of vision can be alarming for them just as it is for me when my daughter starts poking me in the eye.

Trust me it'll be worth it to get him past this stage. There is little more pathetic than an adult with an irrational fear of a pooch.

"Why go to woods or places where there will be loads of dogs, until you have addressed his fear?"

because it's there for everyone and that means children/people who are afraid of dogs as well. leads have already been invented why is it so difficult to use one?