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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my 8 week old baby sleeping in her own room

217 replies

Olivetti · 15/01/2011 19:55

My little girl (8 weeks) has slept in her own room since she was 3 weeks old. She currently sleeps 7-9 hours and I wake up if she even squeaks loudly, and check on her - she usually just seems to be dreaming. She's putting on weight and thriving. I remember very heated debate about this on MN when I was pregnant, so just wondering whether people think it's ok, given she seems to be happy enough.

OP posts:
LeninGrad · 16/01/2011 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boohooyou · 16/01/2011 09:32

*your baby

Lamorna · 16/01/2011 09:36

Absolutely. You do what is best for you and your baby.

StewieGriffinsMom · 16/01/2011 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Giddyup · 16/01/2011 09:37

Kentmummy the increase in risk is really very tiny I believe

LadyintheRadiator · 16/01/2011 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 16/01/2011 10:00

YABU. Babies being on their own is a risk factor.

I find it bizarre that you are just focusing on 'oh she seems so happy and settled', when that isn't the issue at all.
It has nothing to do with how much she likes her room, and nothing to do with whether your husband is getting a good night's sleep.

GandTiceandaslice · 16/01/2011 10:11

DC1 in own room at 7 weeks.
DC2 at 2 weeks.
CD3 at about 3 months.

The older 2 were noisy sleepers. I also needed some sleep.

I used monitors though.

cumbria81 · 16/01/2011 10:18

The theory that the parents' breathing regulates the baby's breathing sounds very implausible to me - what is the evidence?

LadyintheRadiator · 16/01/2011 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HippyHippopotamus · 16/01/2011 10:36

this is a really interesting thread. a friend of mine has put her dc in their own room at 14weeks. scares the begeezus out of me but i haven't felt i can say anything to her

perhaps i could just send her the sids link...

HippyHippopotamus · 16/01/2011 10:37

Lady...why were you deleted? i thought your post made perfect sense!

snala · 16/01/2011 10:56

Msklo, yes babies stop breathing fairly often and a breathing moniter would help for this if it wasn't because of SIDS.

BUT if a baby stops breathing because of SIDS they CAN NOT be revived. Thats the difference. By the time ANY alarm sounds the baby has already stopped breathing.

The theory is that if parents breathing, background noise etc stops them from getting into such a deep sleep,it won't happen.

There isn' a machine in the world that could predict SIDS happening so surely prevention is better than cure? as in the case of SIDS there is no cure. Sad

Kentmummy · 16/01/2011 11:31

I personally would never feel happy sleeping with DD in our bed... In my job I've seen too many babies that have died as a result. Not loads of babies but enough. I know there is the arguement re drugs, drink etc but I'd be happier with baby in their own room over baby in my bed.
And I've only ever dealt with babies dying this way, never SIDS.
I'm not suggesting that co sleeping is riskier, just that if you have experience of one thing, that's what you consider more than anything.
It has to be personal choice based on your experiences and research.

clumsymumluckybaby · 16/01/2011 12:36

i was a little worried,unit my dp recored me sleeping,i frequently waved my arm about in the air,for somewhere to put it down ALWAYS avoiding the baby EVERY SINGLE TIME. it was as if i had a mental picture of where the baby was,and avoided that 'space' on the bed,the enitire night.

it was very odd to watch...

LadyintheRadiator · 16/01/2011 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lynzjam · 16/01/2011 13:11

I had DD in her own room when she was about a month. Before I had her I was worried about suffocation etc, but for some reason I started to relax about it. Maybe because I realised she was a sturdy wee thing and would be fine.

It's probably selfish but I too wanted a better nights sleep as I'd wake with every noise she'd make. I still do even though she's down the hall so I sleep with earplugs in! I still hear her!

We did alot of co sleeping to begin with which was great for breastfeeding but I wanted her to get used to her room and her own bed. Made sense as I was in her room through the night changing nappies anyway. She is now 4.5 months and sleeps well compared to some I reckon!

Every mum feels differently about these kind of things. My baby is happy to sleep for hours in her own bed in her own room so I don't think you are BU!

Lamorna · 16/01/2011 14:50

There are no right or wrong ways. There is the odd view that babies are not people, some like their own space! They don't come into the world having read the same baby manual. Every baby is different and what suits one doesn't suit another, the same as mothers are all different.

threefeethighandrising · 16/01/2011 20:31

Umm perhaps they might like their own space but scientific evidence shows that they have a better chance of surviving if they're in with you.

What's so hard to understand about that?

InspirationalBreadbin · 16/01/2011 21:16

I do find it odd that certain posters get on their high horse about people not following the guidelines and therefore raising the risk of SIDS and then recommend co-sleeping which is also against the SIDS guidelines Hmm.

Giddyup · 17/01/2011 09:31

Yep, I noticed that! Does anyone know if the risks are reduced with a huge baby that is sleeping through? as I see it is increased for small babies. Also would reversing the monitor as someone further up had been advised make any difference?

tigitigi · 17/01/2011 09:56

Mine were in a cot in their own room from the day we got back from hospital, we had a monitor with us at all times. they would sleep downstairs in the living room until the last feed in the evening and then up to their own room.

No more of a risk than co-sleeping. Funny how the research is acceptable if it fits with what you want/can do ie baby in room, but not if it contradicts your desire to co-sleep! When that is the case all of a sudden the research is flawed.

OP as a parent you will find every decision you make is detested by a large minority of people - one way or another. Best thing is to do what you feel is right for your family taking all reasonable advice into account.

KnittedBreast · 17/01/2011 10:00

i have to say i have 2 kids 1 who slept in his room most of the time from a few days old and the 2nd who is still in with me at 2 yrs.

the first has always been a great sleeper the one that slept in with me is up til midnight every night and screams hysterically if i try to put her down.

if i have another they be in their own room asap.
you are not harming shes fine, stop feeling bad and enjoy the fact baby sleeps so well :)

Lamorna · 17/01/2011 10:05

Exactly tigitigi, someone will say that you are wrong whatever you do. Mine where in their own room and I was up at the first noise and I would say that they were in considerably less danger than in bed with me. I am not saying this is 'right', people should do whatever suits them without being made to feel guilty. Just relax and enjoy your baby and do what is best for you.

BaggedandTagged · 17/01/2011 10:12

So all the people criticising the OP, I hope that you ALL use pacifiers, because that's also a risk reduction factor you know.

You don't? OMG. You baby killers.

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