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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my 8 week old baby sleeping in her own room

217 replies

Olivetti · 15/01/2011 19:55

My little girl (8 weeks) has slept in her own room since she was 3 weeks old. She currently sleeps 7-9 hours and I wake up if she even squeaks loudly, and check on her - she usually just seems to be dreaming. She's putting on weight and thriving. I remember very heated debate about this on MN when I was pregnant, so just wondering whether people think it's ok, given she seems to be happy enough.

OP posts:
clumsymumluckybaby · 15/01/2011 23:33

i totally agree,but,if you are not sleeping and thus knackered,it might be better for all if mum was a functioning human,rather than clinging to something that was making it harder to be a mother. iyswim.

however,i would not really know,as co-sleeping whist bfing has always worked best for us.

Imarriedafrog · 15/01/2011 23:33

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snala · 15/01/2011 23:35

The thing is its easy to say 'an increase on a tiny risk' if its never happened to you.

The FACT is that its a risk, and therfore COULD happen, its also an increased risk taking a baby to a smoked in home, if you tot up all the 'tiny' risks the risk is increased anyway.

LeninGrad · 15/01/2011 23:35

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snala · 15/01/2011 23:37

Has the thread been useful OP? Hmm

MsKLo · 15/01/2011 23:40

You post here but don't want to be told yabu! You haven't answered the question though - despite all the evidence do you feel it is worth the risk?

You talk about the baby making noises and disturbing your sex life but you chose to have a baby didn't you? Do you not want to do what is best? The fact is, bring in the same room with you is best

LeninGrad · 15/01/2011 23:40

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MsKLo · 15/01/2011 23:42

It would be interesting to know how many women thought about how bf reduces the SIDS risk?

clumsymumluckybaby · 15/01/2011 23:46

lenin i agree,it is exactly what i do when there arent sleeping as well.
i also like talking of sleep patterns rather than regression.

it has been useful for me to see there are quite a few that do a similar thing to us with sleeping,as around here,i seem to be the only one Hmm

LeninGrad · 15/01/2011 23:47

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clumsymumluckybaby · 15/01/2011 23:48

tell them you think they're mad Smile

Original poster
Olivetti · 15/01/2011 23:50

MsKLo - I don't mind people saying they think I am being unreasonable, that's up to them. As I said, I was interested in what other people have done and how their babies have reacted. I've actually still got an open mind on this, if she becomes unsettled or seems to start to dislike being away from us, I might move her back in. She's only in the adjacent room with both doors open and a little night light.

OP posts:
MsKLo · 16/01/2011 00:13

Do you have a breathing monitor? They put my mind at ease i have to admit! But then again my sixteen month old is still in my room - it's just easier to bf her this way... Yes i still bf at night

At the end of the day, if you are happy and she is happy that is what matters but be prepared! Sleepless nights may well be ahead with teething and growth spurts etc!

Mwahaha!

Evil laugh was only a joke Wink
I only jealous because my little monster darling doesn't sleep through (although she was good for the first three months...)

threefeethighandrising · 16/01/2011 00:33

But it's not about whether she seems settled, it's about her being safer. If there's something you can do which makes your baby safer, why wouldn't you do it? I don't get it.

If you are open to bringing her back in with you if you think she doesn't like the other room, why wouldn't you do it to increase her chance of survival> I really don't understand the logic!

musicposy · 16/01/2011 00:38

I think you're looking at this the wrong way round. You say you'll move her back in if she becomes unsettled, but it's the fact she is so settled that is the SIDS danger. The noise of you and DH will stop her being too settled and therefore keep reminding her to breathe.

This is very close to my heart as if my youngest had been in a separate room she wouldn't be here today. She stopped breathing one night at 4 months and because she was right by the bed I sensed it and woke up. It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever been through.

Obviously you have to do what is right for you, but there's just no way I'd have brought this most precious of all things into the world and then risk it because DH or I weren't sleeping well. That's why they should be in with you - it stops either you or the baby sleeping well - which helps keep the baby safe.

MsKLo · 16/01/2011 00:55

Musicposy

Thank God your baby is ok

Yes - babies stop breathing all the time - I know this too because I have a breathing monitor and they make all the difference

My eldest stopped breathing and the monitor sensed it and started beeping and it alerted him to breathe again by waking him up. Someone in this thread said they don't make a difference? They can make a difference I have seen it

LadyintheRadiator · 16/01/2011 07:57

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LadyintheRadiator · 16/01/2011 08:01

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MsKLo · 16/01/2011 08:39

I upped the sensitivity on mine and am sure if beeps Quicker than that? It gives me peace of mind personally! But having baby in my room I find it a good thing and most important :)

This has been a really interesting thread!

pommedeterre · 16/01/2011 08:43

I thought the breathing monitors were mainly for parents who had had previous losses due to SIDS or people who wanted to put baby to sleep on their tummy... I have been a bit surprised by the number of people who have used them. So expensive..
MsKlo - how long do you think you will co sleep for? I am always surprised by people who cosleep for years (maybe by this I mean by past 2.6 as a very rough stick in the sand). How does a relationship manage?

Whitethorn · 16/01/2011 08:47

Olivetti
YANBU to put your baby in its own room but YABU to start this thread and expect anything anything other than a flaming.

I put my DD in her own room at 3 months, she as too big for the moses basket and cot wouldnt fit in our room so we didnt have an option.
By the way I dont think 8 weeks is 'too early' to sleep through, just think you are lucky.

Megatron · 16/01/2011 08:49

Your choice is you know the risks I suppose.

We couldn't have done it because of the fact that their was a risk so it was a no brainer. As for disturbing DH's sleep, he slept in the spare room for a few months and no it did not affect our relationship, we did not divorce or lose our closeness. We still managed a quickie on the sofa when she was asleep. Grin

If really wasn't a hardship for, what we believed, the safety of our baby.

PrincessScrumpy · 16/01/2011 09:02

dd went into her own room at 12 weeks as we discovered we were waking her up which is why she slept so badly.

My twin died of cot death so I was very concerned but research in New Zealand, where rates were really high and they've dramatically reduced to almost nothing, shows it's all about the mattress.

I would link it but I don't know how. Sorry.

Kentmummy · 16/01/2011 09:30

I have a large baby, 98th percentile. DD is 11 weeks and literally a few mm from touching the top and bottom of Moses basket.
I don't want to, but I know she really needs to be going in her cot very very soon.
The cot won't fit in our room so we have no option.
We have an angelcare sound and motion monitor and her room is right next to ours. I would love to keep her with us for 6 months but can't.
I'm not negletful or ignoring the risks, I have no other choice.
We will just make the best of a bad situation.
No one can tell you you're right or wrong, you just have to do your best.

Boohooyou · 16/01/2011 09:31

There is nothing more annoying than an OP who ignores all the questions asked.
Olivetti If your husbands sleep is more important than your babies life then I feel sorry for you baby.