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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my 8 week old baby sleeping in her own room

217 replies

Olivetti · 15/01/2011 19:55

My little girl (8 weeks) has slept in her own room since she was 3 weeks old. She currently sleeps 7-9 hours and I wake up if she even squeaks loudly, and check on her - she usually just seems to be dreaming. She's putting on weight and thriving. I remember very heated debate about this on MN when I was pregnant, so just wondering whether people think it's ok, given she seems to be happy enough.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 15/01/2011 20:21

also the noises you make stop the baby going into a very deep sleep

MoonUnitAlpha · 15/01/2011 20:22

Charliesmommy - there's only really theories about it, as the data just shows correlations. I think one is that the sounds of other people in the room prevents a small baby from falling too into too deep a sleep and stopping breathing. So it's more important the baby hears you than you hear them.

I believe that's the same reason dummies reduce the SIDS risk - babies with them don't sleep so deeply?

OhBuggerandArse · 15/01/2011 20:22

Nope, it is Honeybees answer. Babies aren't great at self-regulating, and having adults breathing near them helps them. It's not about you hearing them, so any monitor arangements you have aren't really relevant - it's about them hearing you.

NinkyNonker · 15/01/2011 20:22

I wouldn't. DD is nearly 6 months and I don't think we'll even move her then, no reason to to be honest. Not sure why you're asking if you're happy, there is loads of research available behind the recommendation so is just likely to cause a bunfight.

OhBuggerandArse · 15/01/2011 20:23

(sorry, that nope was to someone way up thread, everyone else saying the same thing as me managed to say it quicker)

Honeybee79 · 15/01/2011 20:24

OP, do the research and just weigh up the risks. No one can decide for you.

TheProvincialLady · 15/01/2011 20:24

Well, I wouldn't do it myself. My cousin died of SIDS so I have been extra cautious. I would not have done anything with my babies that increased their risk.

The risk of being in another room is NOT that you won't hear the baby stop breathing. It is that the baby won't hear you breathing, and thereby monitor his or her own breathing.

charliesmommy · 15/01/2011 20:25

My husbands breathing at night is always erratic.. he can sort of stop making any breathing noise for a good ten seconds and then do a loud snore..

I cant see that it would help a babies breathing to be regulated being in the same room as him.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 20:26

My ds was put in his own room after the first 4 weeks. He's perfectly healthy and happy. I often wonder for whose benefit is the baby kept in the parents room?

It's your child, you raise her how you like :o

NinkyNonker · 15/01/2011 20:26

Besides, at 8 weeks ( and especially 3) they barely know they're not inside you any more, why seperate them? Seems mean, DH doesn't get as much sleep as he used to but then we have a baby, so he didn't expect anything else. If he did have a problem with it I would have been very surprised at him, and he would have been the one to move rather than risk the baby, however small the risk may or may not be.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 20:27

and I lost my brother to cot death...and as they can't find the CAUSE for it it's important not to speculate or be scare mongered that it is something YOU do wrong should it ever happen (God forbid it)

WimpleOfTheBallet · 15/01/2011 20:28

I agree with the person who points out that it isnt about your husbands needs..but about the babies safety.

The risk of SIDS is hgher in babie under 6 months who sleep alone.

MoonUnitAlpha · 15/01/2011 20:28

It doesn't need to regulate their breathing so much as remind them to breathe - it's the noise of other people close by that's important.

watfordmummy · 15/01/2011 20:28

ds2 slept in cot in own room from day 3. he souldn't settle in moses basket, and slept sooo much better in cot. Had a sensor pad, but he was fine. But that was nearly 8 years ago and although unusual I wasn't told I was endangering him

NinkyNonker · 15/01/2011 20:28

I don't mean I would have made him move, I mean he would have offered to, if you see what I mean. And yes, as I'm still BF it is of benefit to me to have her in the room with us, which is still a pretty good reason. Less disruption for me and therefore less for DH as I'm not lugging my sorry frame out of bed when she wakes. (She didn't much at 8 wks but then come the 4 month sleep regression she suddenly, well, regressed!)

WimpleOfTheBallet · 15/01/2011 20:29

As Moonunit says...it's them being able to hear you breathe that matters...not the oher way round

mamatomany · 15/01/2011 20:29

I don't get this whole, it's more riskier to have a mum only get three hours sleep business.
I don't think I've slept properly for 11 years but I still manage to hold down a job, function in society and be a good mum, you learn to adjust, sleep when the baby sleeps and go to bed early if you need more in order to look after the baby at night.
If i'm a grumpy cow and I admit it happens, I get DH to do the last feed at 10pm and I go to bed at 8pm.

Haribojoe · 15/01/2011 20:30

You're not BU as it's your baby and therefore your choice.

I wouldn't personally do it, if for no other reason than I'm lazy Blush and like being able to just reach out and put DS3 on boob when he wakes without getting out of bed.

thisisyesterday · 15/01/2011 20:30

ladyofthemanor, that is because it's likely there is no one cause for it

all we know so far is that certain things increase the risk of SIDS.

being in a room by themselves is one of those things

so why would anyone take that risk?

mousesma · 15/01/2011 20:30

As others have said it's about informed choice.

If you have read all the information about how sleeping in the same room can reduce the risk of SIDS and have decided that the level of risk is acceptable to you then it is enitrely reasonable.

If you haven't read about the risks then it is not an informed choice and you might want to double check the facts before you continue.

Original poster
Olivetti · 15/01/2011 20:31

/no need for a bunfight, NN, I am just interested in other people's experiences. As people have said, different people have different worries. Some of my friends, for example, are shocked that he sleeps in her own room, but then I would be worried by how many blankets and thick clothes their babies are wrapped in - overheating is my paranoia! And I certainly wouldn't want to chuck my husband out into another room - I want her to have siblings you know!

OP posts:
MsBinbag · 15/01/2011 20:31

charliesmommy does your dh need a tonsilectomy?

Giggle78 · 15/01/2011 20:32

My baby slept in his own room from ...wait for it..the first night home from hospital. He started sleeping through the night at 7 and a half weeks old and has contined to do so. He is now 25 weeks old. He is such a happy baby who I feel is refreshed from getting undisturbed sleep. He goes to sleep happily after his dream feed and settles well in the day.

If it hadn't worked I would have changed it and done it another way - maybe bringing him into my bedroom but it did work for me.

As a parent you have to make your own decisions and not base them on the fact that other people might disaprove but on finding out what works for your baby and your family. There are as many views on parenting as their are parents.

MoonUnitAlpha · 15/01/2011 20:32

Agree with mousesma about informed choice - if you are happy with the risks you take then you don't need to justify it to anyone else.

Original poster
Olivetti · 15/01/2011 20:33

p.s. sorry about typing!

OP posts:
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