to expect people to take their shoes/boots off?

[LargeGlassofVino]

I always take my shoes off when I go into someone else's house. I don't understand why you wouldn't. Why would you traipse crap all through someone's home? Most people seem to do it, but there is a hardcore of people that do not - am I being unreasonable to expect them to? Is it rude to tell them to take them off?
We have wood floor from front to back - does that make a difference?
My mum never takes her shoes off. She came over the other day when it was pouring with rain, wearing her big winter boots and went to walk straight through. I asked her to take them off as I'd not long ago mopped the floor. She was quite taken aback as I never ask - good old unassertive me that I usually am... When it was time to go, she went into the hall and brought the boots back into the living area, putting them on over the brand new rug (that we'd just been talking about, so she knew it was new). Aggghhh!
My SIL is just as bad. We had a party a few years ago when the wood floor was quite new, and she refused to remove her pointy high heels when my OH asked her to, as she 'hadn't painted her toenails'. All 40 or so other guests had taken them off except her. She came over for a dinner party the other night and it was the same - she stomped round my house in her big high heeled boots, when everyone else was in socks.
I'm no clean-freak by any stretch of the imagination. I am just surprised by this hardcore of people who think it's reasonable to keep their mucky shoes on. It's winter as well - of course they're mucky. And we have a crawling baby in the house - surely that's reason enough to take them off?
If I am being unreasonable, I'd love to know why...

'I automatically take my shoes off at the door. Do you refusers not respect other people's houses and property?'

I hope in that case that you respect other people and if they say, like me,'please keep them on' that you do!

I always think of Hyacyth Bucket too, HouseOfBamboo, I thought she was supposed to be a joke! I was wrong.

Agree with HofB - when I was a child no-one ever took shoes off unless really muddy/wet. I only ask children to take them off if really dirty. Never asked adults even with crawling babies. Incredibly precious! No wonder so many kids have "allergies" - and don't start me on the dettol soap advert!!!

I'm not fainting from dirt. I resent these characterisations, frankly. It is possible that other people have perfectly good reasons for living as they do, despite not having checked it out with me, or mumsnet, first. Principle of charity etc so forth.

I am common, though. The horror! It means I can't afford staff and do my own cleaning and that I live in a slum with shit all over the streets. My membership of the upper classes cannot be engineered through the cunning use of footwear. Napkins, on the other hand...

If someone says 'ooh don't bother with that' then I probably would keep them on but I would feel uncomfortable. Why would you need your shoes on, they're for outdoors? Otherwise we'd put our babies in proper shoes round the house as soon as they can walk.

I carry socks in my bag for if I'm wearing sandals or pumps as well. I'm never too sure what people think of bare feet in their houses.

YABU. Doormats are enough.

Obviously if there's dog mess on your shoes that's different, but in general I find it a bit OTT and precious to insist on shoes-off.

We dont mind downstairs as it is all wood and tiles. I would hate anyone to go upstairs in shoes, we dont even do that.

"dont people wear socks with shoes?"

Well, your average flip flop wearer usually doesn't. And I've seen plenty of people going sockless in those ballet flat things even in the depths of winter. Anyway...

Yes of course it's your house, your rules. And if people want me to take my shoes off in their house, I always do.

My point is, it's not always a comfortable option for your guests (if that is an issue for you, if not, fair enough). And re the issue of dirt and germs, the average house is chock full of them anyway, fact. Try sticking a bit of any well-used carpet under a microscope. And if you have pets, well forget about keeping your house free of faecal matter. Not to mention the toilet floor poo mist.

In fact my carpets are probably actually cleaner than they otherwise would be because of people coming in and out with shoes, it means they get hoovered and cleaned more often.

I know an adult who never wears shoes, unless he has to for work etc, whatever the weather. What would you do with him and your carpets? Ask him to put shoes on? His feet must be fairly revolting most of the time.

HouseOfBamboo for someone who is advocating wearing outdoor shoes in the house and not being worried about dirt you seem to be rather obsessed with 'poo mist'!!

If you are in the room when you flush the loo you too will be covered in this mist so having a bit on your feet is neither here nor there!!

I'm with Riven on this - I prefer no shoes so dog mess and the like isn't traipsed into my house and I can feel OK about my baby rolling around on the floor

No way would I ask someone to remove their shoes. I think it's weird and rude.

I just googled poo mist, it's the smell of poo, also known as 'poo fog'

"HouseOfBamboo for someone who is advocating wearing outdoor shoes in the house and not being worried about dirt you seem to be rather obsessed with 'poo mist'!!"

I'm liking my new image as a poo mist obsessive! That's kind of my point actually, we are surrounded by germs anyway, so even when you imagine your house is clean it isn't. And most of the time the dirt doesn't do you any harm unless you're talking salmonella etc.

Sorry Riven, wasn't ignoring your poo mist question, I've just come back. I will try and find a definition (though I think poo mist is quite graphically descriptive anyway)!

Poo obsessives, have a read of this one:

worlddental.org - toothbrush and toilet bacteria

Okay, it's a toilet cleaner ad, but it kind of illustrates the 'poo mist' point. And I'm not convinced that shutting the lid will stop the 'poo cloud' from escaping through the cracks if it's forceful enough to travel 2 metres in the first place.

jeyes.co.uk

HOB this is why I close the lid before I flush - minimises the mist!!!

I panic inwardly when adults take their shoes off in the house as I have visions of the dog running off with them . Visiting children tend to take them off which as they spend time in the DC's bedrooms I prefer and I have enough space on top of the hall cupboard to stash them away out of harm.

When we visit other people the DC's automtically take their shoes off usually but I remind them to if not and I take mind off. If on my own I generally ask if they would prefer shows on or off.

We never removed shoes at someone's house when I was a child or in my student days and I don't remember doing so visiting my family in Germany. Has it always been rude not to take shoes off over there or is this something that has crept in over last 20/30 years?

Rachel - yes I can see that putting the lid down would minimise 'toilet sneeze' (as I saw it described on one website ).

I think you'd need clingfilm though to make sure that NO germs escaped, and obviously the lid would be thickly coated in toilet sneeze when the next person goes to lift it up. Maybe someone should invent a toilet hanky?

What do all of the 'no-shoes' people do when you have friends over for dinner or a party? I always take off muddy boots or shoes when I visit people but if I went for dinner and had to take off my heels I would be mightily annoyed!

i get the teenagers to take their shoes off and i tend to take mine off. You end up with black sock fluff everywhere instead.

Liked the one about the bloke who never wore shoes. must have feet like leather.

you could get him to where those blue polythene shoe things that you wear when someone cleans the carpet.