to be annoyed by this or am I benefit bashing/

[Streakywindows]

DS was given a letter from school saying he could claim up to 250.00 for a number of things including a cineworld pass,ice skating,football,swimming and various other stuff. He could also get free equipment and uniform for his chosen activity.
I thought this was brilliant but then read he can only claim it if he is getting free school meals.
This seems really unfair but I think I might be a bit touchy today as I have told ds he can't go to the cinema with his friends this week as we are really struggling so this may be making me a bit bitter .
DD also can't attend after school dance unless we pay 30.00 each term yet again kids entitled to FSM get to go.
It just all seems very unfair especially as we are about as well off as the average family on benefits after paying rent,ct and travel to work.
I am not suggesting stopping FSM or anything like that just maybe a fairer system.

the number of people falsely claiming DLA are much much smaller than the press would have you believe
more benefits go unclaimed than the predicted amount paid to fradulent claimants

this focus on those few who are frauds is simply a smokescreen
we have stopped speaking about the bonuses/bankers and tax evaders and are instead talking about the negligible amount of fraudulent claimants

especially with disability benefits
they are very difficuly to come by and easy to be reassessed and cut (often with no real medical reason for the cut}
please read this just one example to give you an idea of what is really happening in a wider sense to disability benefits and why it's important to only let facts come to the fore

It is a bit nuts really. You can understand why people do the sums and decide it is better for their children. A lot of people don't have the attitude of showing your children it's better to earn, and those who do pay for those who don't.

Please don't get me wrong. I know a lot of people with serious disabilities ranging from CF to Blindness. Some of these people choose to work and some simply can't. But it is hard to see how he compares to people who have such serious issues as the ones in your report. They used to live close to me and I would say I saw them regularly nearly every day of the week and I cannot compare the two. He would go out and get drunk on the town for example - how would that correlate with needing help to go to the loo? I know there will doubtless be other thing's I might not know about, but in all honesty they have practically told people they are loving the system. Especially when he gets drunk. What can you do if you know that? I'm no snitch but I can see people who really deserve these funds would be better off if they means tested or did spot checks on families like this.

To reiterate though - I do know they are in the minority, but the thread is about feeling annoyed, and this annoys me.

When I was in senior school (I left in 2002), the only kids who got free lunches and the benefits you are talking about were from families who lived below the poverty line or were in social care. I went to a community school in a rough part of London so there were a lot of kids there like that. You may not get all those free after school activities but from my experience, the kids who usually do get them really need them. It gives them small opportunities they would never usually get. Of course I know there are benefit cheats out there but some children really need the help. Especially those in care for instance. Although I understand your frustration and feel the system could definitely be improved on in deciding how to allocate these benefits etc...

streaky, I really feel for you on this thread

you seem to be getting attacked for no reason at all, you don't have it at all easy and want to come on here anonimously and have a moan and yet some posters seem to think you shouldn't be allowed that

shame on them!

I can totally understand your frustrations, I feel many of them myself.

can I ask what age is your ds? my ds's are into football too and I'm sure we have some strips and maybe boots we don't need, I'd be more than willing to pass them on?

I should say what size football clothes and shoes/boots?

What is unfair is that those who are working in low paid jobs, and therefore have to claim WTC aren't eligible for FSM and by default also aren't eligible for the other help, ie school trips, extra curricular activities, free laptops etc. Even those like myself and my DS, who get LESS THAN 16K pa even INCLUDING TAX CREDITS!

A lot of people don't have the attitude of showing your children it's better to earn, and those who do pay for those who don't.

appletrees, thats one of the best lines I've ever read of being on MN for a trillion years

streaky...I dont see you as a bona fide benefit basher. You explain yourself too
well..."gabby"

usual scenario. Work and get nothing...

can i point out that yes Im on benefits ( carers as ds3 is disabled before im called a lazy arse) .But im sick to death of people thinking just beciase my dcfSm .But the idea we dont pay for school trips is rubbish

I have to pay out for any trips my dc go on.Just like anyone else .Same for after school clubs i still have to pay for them .Swimming lessons etc all have to be paid for and maybe by you theres help for cinema but nothing here ditto groups etc

Infact my older dc go to a young caers group and i have to pay transport costs for that

Streaky don't know if you are still reading this but for what it's worth I totally 'get' what it is you are saying. FSM was meant to be just that - about making sure kid's had at least one nutritional meal a day. Now it has become a gateway to other opportunities that you can't afford for your children. It has another impact for the non-participating kids as it makes these activities more 'normal' within their peer group and hence they feel even more left out as regular trips to the cinema etc are no longer viewed as luxuries.

I feel for you having to say no but to be honest you sound like a great mum - you are thinking of how your children feel and I reckon that being able to show empathy is just as important as being able to stump up the cash. If it's any comfort, as a kid I'd have killed for the opportunity to dance/ride/go on a school trip. As it was, my parents couldn't afford it so I looked for every opportunity I could (free clubs, v. low cost Guides) and took that instead. It probably made me stronger in to adulthood and taught me more than a few dance classes could have! I recognised early on that you are an individual and not everyone has to do the same thing. What was difficult for me was that my parents were quite happy for me to be the only kid in the class not to go on a trip - this I found hard as the message I took out was that I was selfish for wanting to go - I think it would have helped if they had at least acknowledged my feelings which is why I think you sound great in the empathy you show - don't underestimate the importance of that, and maintaining a positive outlook of what is within reach, to the emotional wellbeing of your children.

On a practical note - are there any no/low cost opportunities you can get for your children eg Brownies (cheap subs plus maybe second hand uniform?) or classes at the library or one off school holiday events? I'm ttc (no kids yet) but my sis with two little ones always has a huge list of school holiday activities that are free to kids. Also, I think what helped me is that there was one other little girl in my class who was in a similar position (we were always the ones teased for having dreadful clothes) - are any of your DD's friends in the same boat? If they are perhaps you can encourage the friendship so that your DD has a different norm to compare herself to other than these kids who get to do all the fun things?

Anyhow Streaky, I totally understand your frustration and I hope you feel more positive a couple of days on.

Our experience is quite the opposite to Coccyx's: work, get respect and financial help.

Some stats wrt to DLA though-

fraud- 0.5% (Government stats)
UNDER claimed by 40% (same source)

Severely autistic ds3, somewhat verbal but will never work or be independent gets £275 or thereabout PCM on MR care (he should get HR but does not) and LR mobility; the max is just about £100 more with LR mobility though I don;t know about HR mobility- many people hand that voer for the specialist vehicles they need.

Carers is £53.60 a week.

Something like 80% of famillies with a disabled child live in poverty.

The comments the Government put out are deliberately mixed with ESA as a few years ago before ESA came in there WERE huge porblems with IB. We know that but kids don;t get IB anyway and comments about choosing not tow ork are beyond dumb when you are as ds3 is 7.

get up that chimney kiddo