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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by this or am I benefit bashing/

217 replies

Streakywindows · 14/01/2011 10:48

DS was given a letter from school saying he could claim up to 250.00 for a number of things including a cineworld pass,ice skating,football,swimming and various other stuff. He could also get free equipment and uniform for his chosen activity.
I thought this was brilliant but then read he can only claim it if he is getting free school meals.
This seems really unfair but I think I might be a bit touchy today as I have told ds he can't go to the cinema with his friends this week as we are really struggling so this may be making me a bit bitter Blush.
DD also can't attend after school dance unless we pay 30.00 each term yet again kids entitled to FSM get to go.
It just all seems very unfair especially as we are about as well off as the average family on benefits after paying rent,ct and travel to work.
I am not suggesting stopping FSM or anything like that just maybe a fairer system.

OP posts:
mutznutz · 14/01/2011 11:14

Totally agree Streaky it's all about the lack of balance I think.

BluddyMoFo · 14/01/2011 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Streakywindows · 14/01/2011 11:15

I don't blame any child who has FSM or attends the after school clubs.
I blame the stupid bloody system which seems to want to put everybody in boxes and have communities where everyone resents everyone else.

OP posts:
carocaro · 14/01/2011 11:16

YABU

DH is on JSA allowance after being made redundant, children aged 8 and 3, we have both tried very hard to find work, what the JSA, Child Benefit and Child Tax credit does not cover the mortgage, so we are having to sell the house before we are reposessed and it just covers utilities and basic food. We have no phone line, our neighbours have very kindly let us piggyback their broadband to use for job serching email CV's etc, no Sky before anyone asks, don't use the car unless we really have to eg: when ds2 had to be taken to hospital.

So YABU as you can pay you bills and eat and not have the utter dismal/panic/upsetting fact that your children can do nothing AT ALL let alone being pissed off that his weekly cinema trip is off this week.

So can't wait to tell the kids we are having to sell the house they love with the bedrooms they adore with their friends they adore next door.

So just because people get benefits when they need them and I mean really need them, don't bash us becuase you have NO IDEA.

Original poster
Streakywindows · 14/01/2011 11:17

Bluddy- I am just as poor or more poor than people who stay at home. Hmm.

I can't afford a lot of things.

OP posts:
curlymama · 14/01/2011 11:17

YANBU. The system is fucked.

LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 14/01/2011 11:18

I wonder what amount of money (bonuses, cinema passes etc.) are actually available to these children? I may not be as much as you think.
I do think that extra-curricular lessons and clubs (sport, dance, music etc. should be subsidised and means tested properly, rather than going by FSM criteria. However, I doubt that many working families (who can claim WTC and CTC) cannot afford some luxuries for their children. Compare that to taking all luxuries away from the poorest, which is a worse scenario?

LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 14/01/2011 11:21

"I am just as poor or more poor than people who stay at home" - but do you know this for a fact?

Original poster
Streakywindows · 14/01/2011 11:23

I have no sky or phoneline and am using a mobile dongle for the internet.
We are on PAYG mobiles which are never topped up.
I never said ds had a weekly cinema trip Hmm I said I had said no again like the last three times he asked because I can't afford to give him a tenner.
My dp works from 10am while 6pm and often takes no pack up or money to work as we are so skint by the middle of the week.
I owe dp's Mum 400.00 and am wondering what cheap food I can make a decent meal out of this week.
I also have to find the money for a new pe kit this week a bookbag and new boots for dd as she broke hers yesterday.
Oh and we have had to move away from kids friends this summer to a cheaper rented house.
So just because we are working don't assume I have it better than you because I don't.

OP posts:
carocaro · 14/01/2011 11:24

By the way it's a FUCKING BIG MYTH that people who are claiming JSA choose to do it as they can't be arsed with even a crap job.

The lovely, supportive people at the job centre have told me and DH that it is about 1 in 20 who fuck the system over and sit on their arse, do cash in hand work, claim everything.

We are people who every day look for work and have interviews etc etc.

It is not a choice to claim it is a necessity, me and DD normal and top rate tax for the past 25 years each and we are getting back what we have paid in when we now need it and there is no shame in that.

Our children do know about hard work and the immense satisfaction of earning your own living. So as some have pointed out on this thread claiming JSA for the majority is not a choice it's a necessity and does not automatically mean you are a lazy fuckwit with no idea about the value of a real job, crap or otherwise.

mutznutz · 14/01/2011 11:25

Music lessons, school trips, laptop computers, school dinners, ice skating, dancing, theatre trips and all the other things that many children get for free...makes me envisage a time in the future where many adults will look back and feel they had a fairly gifted childhood because their parents didn't work...compared to a lot of kids whose parents did work and was unable to provide these things.

That's an uncomfortable thought...

wuggglemump · 14/01/2011 11:25

Download the new films ;)

I haven't had any letters about free extra curricular activities and DD gets FSM. I do work btw.

Luckily where I live there is a youth club that was initially set up to keep deprived kids from the next estate off the streets. It is on three nights a week and v cheap, they do lots of things outside the three nights too, so DD goes to that.

The cinema kid's club is only a couple of quid too.

Original poster
Streakywindows · 14/01/2011 11:26

Loopy it says 250.00 on the letter.
You only have to go on entitledto.co.uk to check your money.
Like I said after paying everything out that I wouldn't pay out if dp was not working we would be on around the same money as someone claiming benefits.

OP posts:
kittywise · 14/01/2011 11:27

YANBU it's shit, it's 'not'fair' no

carocaro · 14/01/2011 11:28

But Streakywindows - you are bashing those claiming and saying it's an unfair system because you think those on benefits are getting a better deal than you, which is not true.

DS1 has free school meals but we have not ever heard of this £250 grant thing. He wanted to do science £60 Drama Club £22 Cubs £85 and Football £80 - and they only thing he can do is Cubs as cash strapped no kids SIL has kindly paid for it.

You can pay your just bills which is the point!

Original poster
Streakywindows · 14/01/2011 11:29

Not fair at all but you end up looking like a heartless twat for even thinking it.

OP posts:
carocaro · 14/01/2011 11:30

I would love to know where these kids are getting all this FREE stuff?! It's a myth, free ice skating, laptops, theatre trips if you claim JSA? TOTAL BOLLOCKS.

You are clearly making that up - prove your point with actual evidence!

gramercy · 14/01/2011 11:30

I agree with the provision of FSM.

But I can't help feeling that it's just not right to provide all these extras which obviously make it less and less worthwhile for the parent(s) to make any effort themselves. They're not necessarily bad people, just making a reasonably basic economic judgement.

Some people on here have some sort of romantic view of a poor child being delighted with their only trip to the seaside which they wouldn't otherwise experience. Get real! I think there's a decent argument for providing musical instrument lessons, even dance lessons free, but school trips - no. Plenty of children can't go for reasons of cost. And no-one has been scarred for life because they didn't get to go on the ski-ing trip.

expatinscotland · 14/01/2011 11:31
Biscuit
Niceguy2 · 14/01/2011 11:31

YANBU

Obviously in any decent society there should be a safety net for those in genuine need.

But the problem is that nowadays we often forget the message such well meaning schemes send out to everyone else.

So everytime we splash the cash on free cinema tickets, or take a toerag lovable rogue on safari we are poking the hardworking majority in the eye.

theywillgrowup · 14/01/2011 11:33

i havent heard of this scheme and mine get FSM

we did have a great this last yesr £170 per child for sports activities etc NOT cinema

was a godsend to my mad footy son,he had the lot spent on his subs and extra footy,other son didnt see anything he liked

mind you there now in seniors dont know if still avaliable to their age or spending cuts this april

FlorenceAndTheMachine · 14/01/2011 11:33

I find it all very confusing. Looks like DH and I are going to split up and I have been discovering that I would be entitled to various benefits that I had not expected.

We had a newsletter from school that mentioned free school meals - it said that if your income is under £16,000 and you don't get WTC you would be eligible to apply. I am mostly SAHM although earning abotu £7,000 a year (done seasonally so never working as much as 16 hours a week) and so I assume I would be able to apply.

But other people here are saying it is only if you don't work. So I am unsure.

theywillgrowup · 14/01/2011 11:34

grant not great

JoanofArgos · 14/01/2011 11:34

what an ironic username, niceguy!

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 14/01/2011 11:35

It's not benefit bashing it's 'Complicated system leads to unintended consequences' bashing.

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