to be annoyed by this or am I benefit bashing/

[Streakywindows]

DS was given a letter from school saying he could claim up to 250.00 for a number of things including a cineworld pass,ice skating,football,swimming and various other stuff. He could also get free equipment and uniform for his chosen activity.
I thought this was brilliant but then read he can only claim it if he is getting free school meals.
This seems really unfair but I think I might be a bit touchy today as I have told ds he can't go to the cinema with his friends this week as we are really struggling so this may be making me a bit bitter .
DD also can't attend after school dance unless we pay 30.00 each term yet again kids entitled to FSM get to go.
It just all seems very unfair especially as we are about as well off as the average family on benefits after paying rent,ct and travel to work.
I am not suggesting stopping FSM or anything like that just maybe a fairer system.

When looking at having DH laid off, realise that the longer you are out of work the less likely to get back in you become.

Then look up income support and housing rates for when the kids leave home.

I don;t know how old your kids are but mine are getting to teens now and I am realising how brief a part of one's life these child rearing days are. It's always worth a very long look at what lies beyond them.

No prescription charges and dp putting off getting his inhalers as he knows we will be skint.

No waiting a week in agony to get into the student dentist with an abscess.

No travel pass.

No dinner money.

Saying yes to my dc for once.

No rent/ct to pay.

Free courses

Not been knackered all the time.

I would do it in a heartbeat but dp would say no.

It's not greener at all......your do works. He could potentially get overtime or a promotion, which could improve your situation

Being on benefits is no fun, and NOT easy.

Travel pass? What do you mean?

And how does being on benefit cancel out being knackered?

No rent? Are you sure? They only cover very limited amounts and that is going to drop as well. And it's really ahrd to move when one is on HB, and many LLs will evict you if you claim.

I get the prescription bit, i really do: done the same ourselves. Move to Wales? ;-) Moving here has had it's harsships but at elast we need never delay another prescription (though we're looking to move back when we can afford it).

Perhaps I am lucky as I am very goal orientated: I can take a bit of ahrdship now as long as I can see things changing (DH and I are both studying for better incomes). I think if I had to look ahead and see the same shite every day then i;d give up, frankly. As long as I move forwards then I am OK.

He can't get overtime ..only at xmas.
Travel pass is the pass dp pays for to get to work -if he didn't work that would be 18.00 a week we wouldn't have to find.
I know it is not easy I am just pissed off with feeling like I am a shit parent because dp has a job.

You explain to my 5 year old why she can't go dancing at her new school but her friend can?

What message is it giving her or more importantly my older son? ...go to work and get fuck all rewards or stay at home and wahey free football and cinema whenever you feel like it.

I feel like it is constant hardship though.
I want them to have fun I don't mean throwing a ds or a wii at them and giving them everything their heart desires but this scheme is very unfair.

It's not (IMO) unfair; what IS unfair is that tehre is nothing equivalent for the poor who are on low waged incomes. A different thing.

is there anything we can help with advice on that might help in the long term? Will you work one day, or coudl your DH retrain (DH was amde redundant in 2009 and has started a small business alongside retraining: at rpesent income is shit but soon he'kk have his qualifications, and me my MA, and we hope better prospects....)

We didn't choose the redundancy obviously, but it's better to have three years of battling if it buys us a future.

It's not unfair, it's the way it is. Giving poorest children chances and new experiences

You have more income than a benefit claimant.......your do has a chance of overtime/promotion. And you can work yourself?

Yep, foster dd gets lots of things 'free' because she is in care (because the outcomes for children in care are shocking)

She gets free music lessons, they will pay for an instrument, an extra curricular activity, school trips, braces.

These are all to lessen social exclusion, promote independant living etc.

'These are all to lessen social exclusion, promote independant living etc.

and to save money, let's be realistic
and a £ saved is a £ saved at the end of the day; if that can be done by making people's lives better- well woohoo to that.

My owna rea is disability and I see it all the time: chidlren's services won't fund X becuase it costs £500 and that in turn costs adult services £5000. It's a big failing of the whole system.

oK ILove -you really only see what you want to see.

I am stopping posting mainly because I can't stand that Ilove thinks she knows anything about my dp's job even though I have posted about his job before. It really is like hitting a brick wall.

I have a young fully bf baby, I have a dd with aspergers,I can't afford childcare for the dc and have no extended family.

DP is trying to get a new job with better prospects I am going to look into the free courses and childminding.

The scheme is unfair towards my dc and is basically rubbing my dc noses in it and not sending out a great message tbh - "Don't work we'll look after you" FFS.

Do you have a mortgage?

What about the social exclusion my dc face or don't they matter?

No we private rent.

Of course they matter; but again it's not the otehrs getting help that is wrong, but the fact you do not.

I think when people target FSm it's often a wau of targeting those groups of people who REALLY need extras but can;t be tackled via straight benefits eligibility- young carers, the chdilren of recent break ups etc. I applaud that.

but there are otehrs who deserve help as well.

Statistically though your kids have a better chance (and mine) of doing well in the long term becuase theya re in a hosuehold where there is employment. Now, my DH only manages to make £50 a week profit ATM (self employment, setting up business, equipments costs yada yada) but they still have much better chances. Thank goodness for that.

FFS, trust me, you do not have more on fill benefits than you do working.
I know, I've done both and now I work 16 hours, all I get is the FSM. (and I didn't last year)
I get Uniform Grant too but that's not linked to FSM, and neither are free prescriptions or dental treatment.
They are linked with income.

If you really think you'll be better off, then quit your jobs.

I am very grateful for what I get, prescriptions particularity but then I'm on a truckload of medication to stay alive, and some bright spark decided that asthma medication shouldn't be free to all, so yes, I need the free scripts, but I still work, I clean shit up on a daily basis, and I do so to make sure that I contribute, and so that DD knows that working is what you do to make money.

Still though, someone will always come along and knock it, and be sure that I'm raking it in.
I wish.

Your children really do matter streaky and I wish there was no such thing as social exclusion.

But it's all about being the 'least worst' not the best - you are probably a great parent, not abusive to your children, able to promote their independance yourself - even without 'things' your children will be 'ok' - not as good as they could have it but you will be able to make up for their lack of 'stuff'.

DD didn't have that. And now at her age we're just running to catch up - and we are really statistically unlikely to.

It's your job as a parent to explain it to your dc!!! And as your dp is looking for a new job maybe it can be afforded in the future!

Oh, and getting help for DD who has been a carer for me this year?
Impossible.

No one will help, not with practical stuff, not with counselling for DD and not with groups for her to join with kids in a similar position.

Actuallys treaky wuggle is right

If you get TCs at a certain rate you do get prescriptions etc- have you looked into that? I forgot as we get them free here anyway and we don;t use the associated services generally.

Don;t wish benefits on yourself if you prvately rent: most LLs insurances have clauses that eman when a tenant claims HB the elase ends and you would lose your home. Very few LLs take on HB claimants.

It IS tough to see your kids go without though.

I know, I know and I honestly don't think anyone on benefits has it better than me it was foolish to say that. I just feel like my dc are excluded from a lot of things.

It is just so shit sometimes.

I really don't want people thinking I hate people who claim benefits I agree with it and fsm I just don't agree with the scheme or at least the letters should only have been given to those who needed the info.

Wugggle I don;t know if it's an option but when Young carers for ds2 had a waitiong list emaning he'd probably be on a pension before he qualified (!), I talked to the Cubs who bumped him right to the top of their list and is amazing for him- gives him a compeltely non-ASD experience and a lot of freedoms we strugglew to give.

I know when I was a rainbow Leader I;d have done similar, worth a shot maybe?

I'm sorry you are ill Muggle -DP has really bad asthma and suffers a lot.

Will look into script charges but have asked in chemist before and was told no.