Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by this or am I benefit bashing/

217 replies

Streakywindows · 14/01/2011 10:48

DS was given a letter from school saying he could claim up to 250.00 for a number of things including a cineworld pass,ice skating,football,swimming and various other stuff. He could also get free equipment and uniform for his chosen activity.
I thought this was brilliant but then read he can only claim it if he is getting free school meals.
This seems really unfair but I think I might be a bit touchy today as I have told ds he can't go to the cinema with his friends this week as we are really struggling so this may be making me a bit bitter Blush.
DD also can't attend after school dance unless we pay 30.00 each term yet again kids entitled to FSM get to go.
It just all seems very unfair especially as we are about as well off as the average family on benefits after paying rent,ct and travel to work.
I am not suggesting stopping FSM or anything like that just maybe a fairer system.

OP posts:
ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 14/01/2011 18:50

I kno what you mean about the letters and I think I understand what you are saying

I am generally pretty non judgemental, caring, angelic... (amazing how different an MN persona can be to reality I assure you!) but I well remember being PG with ds2, absolutely broke and seeing a friend who'd never worked with a brand new buggy the same as the one I would have loved but couldn;t afford. Yes I felt envious.

Would I want teh circs leading up ther dependency? Goodness no (and as a result of those she ahs now lost care of all the kids in fact)

But for a moment there- I felt prety shitty about it.

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 14/01/2011 18:51

your tax credits form will tell you if you get free prescriptions

bubblerock · 14/01/2011 18:53

Carocaro - "Bubblerock - you cannot tar everyone with the same brush! It is simply not right to 'benefit bash' everyone on because some family on benefits hired a limo - how do you know it wasn't a relative or friend who lent them the limo? Did you see the receipt for the limo hire? Snap judgements are plain wrong."

No, they paid for it - I've known them a long time and it is certainly not a snap judgement. Not tarring everyone with the same brush, just assholes that abuse the system and they do exist unfortunately.

Hopefully you will sell your house soon and have some equity to at least make things easier for you Smile

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 14/01/2011 18:55

They do bubble but they do at least as much ahrm to the genuine claimants as those in work I think; that gets forgottten though.

DS3 will never work, not one day, due to disability: his life is likely to be more difficult as a result of really ahrd assessment tests imposed becuase of those that cheat teh system than any working individual, almost all of whome do not begrudge people like him getting help (almost all, not all, sadly)

wuggglemump · 14/01/2011 19:10

There's no organisation to help DD anywhere near us, and that's the problem.
I'm not ill now, I'm fine, but I have a life long illness (brittle asthma) and when I am ill, DD has to look after the house, if not me.

I have tried everywhere, and no one will help, unless I will travel to Glasgow a couple of times a week, and the organisations there are for children who live with parents with an addiction.
I don't have an addiction, I have an illness that means I can be fine, normal, fully able, as I am now, and also means I can be incapable of doing anything or hospitalised.

Anyway, this is nothing to do with this thread really, I'm, just hacked off at again seeing that FSM kids have so much, when it's bollocks.

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 14/01/2011 19:16

There is a young carers here but it is inaccessible.

Nothing else at all.

Really neglected area of need.

bubblerock · 14/01/2011 19:19

I completely agree reclaim Sad

wuggglemump · 14/01/2011 19:34

Also, it seems that DD won't be classed as a Carer as she doesn't care for me.
I do that, she has to look after the house, all the washing, hoovering, making her own meals (I shop online and get easy things for her) and similar, but because she doesn't have to wash/dress me, she's not a carer, and because it's not ongoing either.

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 14/01/2011 19:37

I think that is regional Wugggle

Here they class siblings as carers automatically.

ATM it's academic as there is no linked provision but I am told that siblings / young carers are the new priority.

I have seen zero evidence though.

wuggglemump · 14/01/2011 20:21

It's shite, whatever it is.

DD has no sibling, she has an ill mother, and needs help when I'm ill.

CardyMow · 14/01/2011 21:31

Sorry, but some people WOULD be better off not working, our family for one. The Jobcentre themselves have done numerous 'better off calculations' that are meant to show you how much better off you are by working, but once all our additional costs are taken into account, we are actually £40 a week worse off with DP working. Yet due to pride, he won't give up his job.

To us it's not a choice of, oh we'll be financially better off out of work, lets be unemployed, it's that we are teaching our dc that you work to get your money, and instilling a work ethic in them.

But it FUCKING SUCKS that we are £40 a week worse off for DP working. There is NO CHANCE of him getting a better paid job, he has asd, and the fact that he holds down a FT job is a bloody miracle in itself, and I have uncontrolled epilepsy and can't find anyone that can be bothered with understanding epilepsy enough to employ ME. I have been out of work for 3 years, since my last place of employment closed down (with no notice or redundancy pay). In that time I have applied for over 200 jobs, and not even been offered ONE interview.

So we ARE facing the same shit every day with no chance of it ever improving. Why shouldn't I be pissed off that someone who isn't working at all gets all these things handed to them on a plate because they are able to claim FSM's, and we get fuck all?

TotemPole · 15/01/2011 00:00

I'm sure this will be an unpopular post with some.

If working couples are already struggling financially, why do they go on to have more children?

I realise circumstances can suddenly change but I often read of couples having finances stretched for the past few years and are expecting a new baby or there's been a recent addition.

curlymama · 15/01/2011 00:07

Exactly the same could be said about people claiming IS Totem, but I know which group I'd rather support.

Surely you can see how ridiculous, and excrutiatingly unfair it is that Loudlass is in the position she is in? I don't suppose she is the only one either.

Fab123 · 15/01/2011 00:18

I got really fed up of an aquaintance who's partner was on Disability Allowance (he admited to me and my dad once that he wouldn't go back to work even if he could, because he loves being a stay at home dad) doing all the heavy household chores - moving over 300 logs around their lovely rented 4 bed cottage from the garden, lifting out and fixing the washing machine, playing with their 3yr old and dog rolling around on the floor and running about. They always buy Boden/Joules/Crew, eat nothing but organic food (LOADS of it ends up in the bin) have a free Quashqui or however it is spelt and still complain on FB about how taxes are being spent!

BUT, I have to look at it and think that their poor child will never have savings or an inheritence once they go. Both have disowned their parents and neither were well off anyway. So really, all they are doing is making sure their life is peachy and leaving their kid in the muck. Let's hope she has more of a work ethic!

TotemPole · 15/01/2011 00:47

Exactly the same could be said about people claiming IS Totem, but I know which group I'd rather support.

curlymama, I agree with you on that.

But if you're in a position where you're working and it's tough and have the 'take responsibility' attitude, why add an extra financial burden to the family? Based upon what I've seen, parents are choosing to have more children. Feeding, clothing and school expenses aren't a surprise.

I think the system is unfair, in that it's all or nothing. It should be means tested so that those on lower incomes get concessions/discounts.

weedle · 15/01/2011 01:00

Could you talk to your class teacher about this? I know I've wrangled discounts/free places on residentials/football kit etc for kids in my class. And we took year 6 to see toy story 3 at the cinema as an after SATs treat. If your child was in my class I'd certainly have a go for you!

Rannaldini · 15/01/2011 01:04

oi fab123

how much do you think DLA pays out?
according to the info given in your post circa£60k?

for you to consider
v difficult to get dla
often a disabled person will try to reconcile the life that they are able to live with their disability to a life that they could live or you could better understand without their disability

Fab123 · 15/01/2011 01:12

They rent up north now as they can get more for the same money up there. All I know is they always have the best. I can't go into detail but she is working and not telling authorities as well which clearly helps their situ.

I seem to remember them saying that if they don't spend as much they get docked it next time when they first started to get it and she quit her job to be "his carer". I could understand it before their child was in the private school they now send her to 3 days a week but now they just sit about arguing and cooking dinner parties for the village toffs whilst not telling people they are on DLA. It's not a situation I'd want to be in for all the lies, is all I can say.

Fab123 · 15/01/2011 01:13

I meant I could understand if she wanted to be at home to look after her daughter, but now she works anyway without declaring it it does grate.

Fab123 · 15/01/2011 01:16

Rannaldini all I can say is what I see. He used to drive for long stretches in his sales job so he basically says he can't do that now.

Clearly he can move logs for a whole day, amongst regularly doing other activities which would seem more labour intensive.

Rannaldini · 15/01/2011 01:21

seriously, how much do you think dla payments amount to?

Fab123 · 15/01/2011 01:25

I really don't know. As I say, all I know is that they never seem short of luxury. And I explained she is also working cash in hand to aid this.

Rannaldini · 15/01/2011 01:35

really I don't mean to be rude but this is stretching me

it is very easy to rabbit on about things of which you really have no knowledge.

That in essence is fine

However DLA is a benefit which many people on this board rely upon heavily. They are justifyably worried about what the govt will do to that benefit.

One of the reasons that they are so worried is that the media in association with the govt. has mounted a campaign to represent benefit claimants as either fraudulent or benefits minted.
This will make benefits cuts to those most needy in our society acceptable when they happen.

Please try to only speak of things that you truly know to be fact when discussing these benefits as gossip, whispering and storytelling when not in full ownership of ALL the facts could be very very damaging

Damaging to those who need our support and help the most

Fab123 · 15/01/2011 01:44

Fair comment. I was just agreeing that some people abuse the system. But you are right, I don't know how much they get or where from. It may well be they have fingers in many pies to keep up this lifestyle.

If anyone checked in on them they would soon see they are far from on the breadline, which i'm sure would be the opposite of people who are honestly claiming.

Surely it annoys you that people jeapordise the system for people who really need it, just as much as it annoys everyone else?

TheButterflyEffect · 15/01/2011 01:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.