to be annoyed by this or am I benefit bashing/

[Streakywindows]

DS was given a letter from school saying he could claim up to 250.00 for a number of things including a cineworld pass,ice skating,football,swimming and various other stuff. He could also get free equipment and uniform for his chosen activity.
I thought this was brilliant but then read he can only claim it if he is getting free school meals.
This seems really unfair but I think I might be a bit touchy today as I have told ds he can't go to the cinema with his friends this week as we are really struggling so this may be making me a bit bitter .
DD also can't attend after school dance unless we pay 30.00 each term yet again kids entitled to FSM get to go.
It just all seems very unfair especially as we are about as well off as the average family on benefits after paying rent,ct and travel to work.
I am not suggesting stopping FSM or anything like that just maybe a fairer system.

tote those extras can add up to a fair bit,more than a couple of thousand

i could give you a list

im on benefit so know what "extras you can get"

sounds like im being two faced but i can see how fustrating it can be for the working poor

Well I sat and cried after this letter today.It made me think that I am doing crap by my dc and although I love them all to bits I sometimes wonder if it would have been better to remain childless then give them this shit life they seem to be having.

I am sick of the worry about shoes/food/bills.

Now there is a number of things my dc are excluded from because I can't afford to send them.

DS would love football -he was really good at it and used to go to a weekly club until the school got rid of the bloke running it and it all stopped -now they are running it again but under this FSM team so it is no longer a pound but 30.00.

DD would love to go dancing or iceskating or anything just so she can join in with the routines and chatter all her friends will be doing the next day.

I'm going to step away from this for a bit as am getting into a big snotty mess.

theywillgrowup, please list them, I'd like to know.:)

my own personal list

free dental care,for myself

free perscripstions, for myself

free laptop for my son and internet access

£170 a year grant foe sport/activities

£40 every other year for school uniform

subsidised school trips (£ not sure yet)

travel paid for hospital appointments

£3.10 a week milk tokens and vitamins

subsidised card through council for local shops/activities

new boiler,guttering,fascias

free school meals

youth hostelling holiday a 1/4 of normal cost

now im sure some working poor maybe abke to claim some of this and maybe mad to disclose this list but its true in this case,and sure each county has there own policy but the list is pretty standard

so even on benefit i can see why some get urked

Thanks theywillgrowup.

The laptop & new boiler are one offs aren't they? Not everyone would have those extras.

I still don't see how that all adds up to more than a few thousand a year. But I suppose it someone has a lot of hospital visits, and 2 or more children(so FSM makes a bigger difference).

I think someone would have to be taking home less than £100 a week to worse off, but even then they'd probably still be on IS & CTC so still get FSMs.

It's all a bit complicated, isn't it.

sure is complicated i agree

personally i think if you have just one dc on benefit you really are on very low money
(you know what i mean)

but if you have maybe 2 or 3 obviously the rates go up

havent worded it very well but sure you know what i mean,but yes benefit is no picnic especially if your a single parent doing things all by yourself

That's really what I'm basing my opinion on.

I only have one child, I got IS for a while when they were a baby. It was enough to get by. No expensive trainers, foreign holidays or living it up (that people on benefits supposedly have according to the DM etc).

You ONLY qualify for FSM's while working if you work LESS THAN 16 HOURS A WEEK. I am unable to work due to disability (that I no longer qualify for DLA for, whole other story). DP works FT for £16k pa (before tax). We don't qualify for FSM's.

We have to pay for the dc's school dinners (not allowed packed luches,have to have hot dinners). That costs us £27 a WEEK. Free if you get FSM.

We have to pay for bus travel (couldn't get into closest school) - £42 a WEEK. Free bus pass if you get FSM.

We have to pay for school trips - so far this term, £10 for an 'essential' trip for DS1, and £22 for an 'essential' trip for DD. Free if you get FSM.

We have to buy DD new uniform as she's grown (again). Her school shirts will be adult price as she's in a ladies size 8-10 now. Her school jumper - £14 from the school only. Her PE jumper - £16 from the school only. Her blazer - £25 from the school only. Plus her school bag broke this week, and she has gone up a whole shoe size, so needs new school shoes too. ALL FREE with a grant if you get FSM.

Swimming at school for DS1 (compulsory) - £48 A TERM. Free if you get FSM.

How the fuck are we better off than someone that get's FSM's? Yes, we get half of our £900pcm rent paid, but we have to pay all of these other things, and we have to pay all of our council tax.

We would be HUGELY better off if DP lost his job. But he has something called pride. It's a shitty thing to have!

OP - YADNBU, it's bloody unfair that you try to do the right thing, but are left worse off than people that don't bother, and that you have to sit by (like we do) and watch your dc miss out on things that people on IS/JSA can let their dc do.

its hard and crap when something like this gets thrown in your face and it is directly linked to dcs.

why the heck didnt they just post the stupid letter home to the relevent parents?

re footy- is there not a local team with a junior team that he could train with? when older dds were little and we could not stretch to swimming lessons at leisure centre i found that the local swimming club did lessons at a fraction of the price at the same pool on a sunday morning. when i looked around, i found quite a few sporty things that they could do for very little because they were run by volunteers and the overheads were minute. similarly the local gymnastics school did proper gymnastics for a fraction of the price of dancing lessons

i dont know if it would make any difference but again dds school would allow payment weekly or in installments if asked (sometimes i would just stick their name down and put in 3 post dated cheques- the school really didnt want them to miss out.

Loudlass, the rules are different in Scotland, where you can work but you must earn less than (I think) £16,000.
I work 16 hours and get FSM.
I don't get anything else free because of them though, I pay like everyone else does.

Grrrrrrr... okay I'm going to benefit bash now, nothing to do with the OP but just got back from the school run and a family at School that I know are on benefits (Mum, Dad & adult daughter) none of them work or want to work have just had a bloody huge great Limo arrive for the 7 year olds birthday!!! FFS apart from being completely tacky, it cost a shedload to hire.

It's farking cold Butterfly!

What swimming did you get?
We got it free but only for a term.

We have not got or been offered any free trips or laptops etc, they certainly don't wrap them up and present them to you when you go and sign on every other week.

Bubblerock - you cannot tar everyone with the same brush! It is simply not right to 'benefit bash' everyone on because some family on benefits hired a limo - how do you know it wasn't a relative or friend who lent them the limo? Did you see the receipt for the limo hire? Snap judgements are plain wrong.

On other threads on here about how tough it has been to have both parents out of work, I have been told in no uncertain terms to just get any job; hey I would if I could and I have tried everything round here! So why don't those on here just get any job or a better job? Apply for grants for training to get better qualifications, if needed, to get a better paid job?

Why can't you get a better job Streaky Windows for example? I really understand when you feel like a shite mother for not being able to do these things for your kids, I get it and I feel it too. Last weekend DS1 went to a party, Mum in question knew things had been tough for us so told us not to bother with a gift. I made DS2 a knigh costume out of an old sheet, red pen and made him a card/tin foil Knights helmet - he loved it! However, most other kids had swords and ds2 who is 3 had a major fit about not having a sword, this went on for 45 mins of the 2 hour party. I felt shit about it, a little thing I know, but it illustrates the point and just highlights for me all the other stuff they can't do because of lack of cash.

But please don't presume ALL people on benefits are showered with perks galore and their kids are having a fab time becaise they are not. And that is was pissed me off with your OP that we are all laughing at the working poor and having a blast.

DS1 is 9 in April and wants 3 friends for a sleepover and all i can think of is thank God for that as it won't cost hardly a thing!

AFAIK, the school can't exclude children from curriculum based activities and trips if their parents don't pay. The letters we get ask for a voluntary contribution. Is that not a nationwide policy?

Loudlass, are you sure you're getting everything your entitled to? Tax credits and housing benefit? Maybe you should ask them to look at your rent and council tax again.

Our pool was shut all last summer Butterfly, so I don't know about that.
Never heard of ELA either, but I did do some back to work courses a few years back that were free.
I think they were for anyone on benefits.

I'm still on many benefits, but not IS as I work the 16 hours.

I do think some of the rules are daft. I could go 5 days a week permanently, instead of 3 but financially I'd be no better off, so I choose to keep 3 and do 5 as overtime.

Carocaro, as I have said before I can't work as I can't afford the childcare -I also have a lo who is home with me in the day -I can't pay for courses as we are skint.
I do fully intend to start up childminding when dd is a little older.

I would also like to point out that I have nowhere on this thread stated that I think benefit claimaints have an easy life or are showered with perks.
I stated that I am annoyed with the scheme to be faced with a letter headed Are You Missing Out? offering each school child 250.00 to basically have fun (which is good but should include all dc) and then realising my dc would be excluded as they don't get FSM is a little bit gutting ..surely people can understand why that pisses me off.

I also think Carocaro that you owe me an apology for accusing me of lying and making it up not very nice at all TBH.

RisingStar I will look into all those things you have posted thankyou.

Loudlass I totally know how you feel :(.

No I don't, I asked for evidence to back up your claim, you have said it's not fair that these "kids are getting £250 to have fun" Is that what the letter really says GET £250 to have fun?

The two links were for laptops - BTW this has been stopped by the Tories, just phoned JSA to check and we would not have qualified as it was for the long term unemployed and those kids stuggling at school, not automatic, you had to apply - and the other one is to get poorer kids to eat better, which even you can't begrudge or can you?

So no free ice skating lessons, theatre tickets etc you mentioned. I can't afford the childcare either, but I got off my ass and studied via the library and online free courses, so it can be done if you look.

So no apology. You should apologise for bunching all of us "claimants" together.

Studied in the evenings and when DS2 at pre-school 2 days with his free sessions we are all entitled too before you even ask!

YANBU we can't afford any of those things. People on benefits get benefits - why do they need more? Why should their children be able to do things that other people's children can't? It isn't the norm to be able to go to the cinema (not round here anyway and not now everyone's hours are being cut). We have 3 children - is it realistic to say that we will have £750 to spend on extra cirricular activities?