to rather be stupid than ugly?

[AtYourCervix]

I find I can get away with being a bit thick because I look good.

AIBU and what would you rather be?

I have an acquaintance, she is rather dim, and sometimes excruciatingly boring company, but she is very pretty. She snared an exceedingly rich, and exceptionally brainy husband, and spends her days playing tennis, going for zumba classes, and at the beauty salon, as she never ventures out in public without having her hair professionally done. I would say HER world is her oyster.

Sadly, judging by the glances her husband sometimes shoots her, I would say he sometimes too is exasperated by her conversations. Luckily for her, she doesn't realize.

I'd rather be a bit of both. Which I think I am. Middle of the tree.

The worst thing would be being just bright enough to grasp how thick you were. Being a notch lower on the intelligence scale would be a blessing there.

Lol at this thread, Beauty and brains are not mutually exclusive. You can have both.

I do find, that us females are often unkind to beautiful females, almost suspicious of them.

I am by no means a stunner, but think I am fairly attractive, and it does help in many circumstances, whether we think it is true or not. But of course, you would need a nice personality to go with the beauty.

So like Expat, if it were a choice, beauty or brains, I'd go with beauty.

Then I'd read, read, and study!

Does that make me shallow?

Victoria Beckham is not beautiful imo. Who do I think is? Angelina Jolie, Claudia Schiffer, Christy Turlington spring to mind.

I've known a few models, and it's only ancedotal I know, but they were terribly sneery about those less beautiful than themselves. Arrogant and awful, the comments they made about girls who were merely attractive and considered themselves more than that (in their opinion).

A few were elevated to lives that the rest of us can only dream about (if that sort of thing floats your boat). Usually through the men they met, models memberships at the top clubs that sort of thing. You've a ticket to the uber jet set if you are uber stunning, if that's what you want.

One or two of my very gorgeous friends at college (not models) got model memberships to the top clubs back when I were young. I used to go sometimes and hope no-one noticed I wasn't 'one of them'. Usually I got away with it by acting nonchalant and dressing down (a lot). I remember passing queues of girls outside the clubs who were tarted up to an inch of their lives. They didn't make it to that holy of holies, the VIP area, within the VIP area.

I remember one club where a bouncer's arm on your shoulder would be an indication that you didn't have the looks/'cool factor' for the VIP, VIP area. You'd have to leave your friends and walk away down the staircase.

It was interesting, for a time. Many married very well in an old fashioned sense and lead a 'private jet' life of incredible luxury and have homes all over the world, most are very happy. Most had 'polish' too in that Kate Middleton sense.

"I think of Cheryl Cole. If she was less pretty she'd never have gone as far as she has, although teenagers I meet deny this is why she's on TV. It's apparently because she's uber talented and hard working."

hahahahaha yeah she'd definitely be on tv if she wasn't good looking and it's all due to her "talent"

Looks aren't all. Self confidence and charisma are way more important IMO.

I was both beautiful and intelligent, forgive the arrogance, it was true.

I always thought that the intelligence would last longer.

Sadly when you reach perimenopause they both fly out of the window.

I think I'd choose ugly.

Fortunately though, in RL - G-d does give with both hands

This is like debating whether you'd like a home to live in or good health. I'll take both please! They aren't related.

annapolly - is that were mine went - I thought it was the wine.

annapolly, I am sure you look fine and your post was well written so I doubt the perimenopause has affected you as badly as you think :).

depressing

beauty and brains are not definitive though, they are culturally specific, and influenced by your upbringing and values.

So with my unruly titian hair and ruebens figure I would have been considered more attractive a couple of centuries ago, but my intelligence (such as it is)would have left me unhappy with my lot in life.

I appreciate the looks I have and chose a partner I found attractive (and with a better jawline!) to 'mate' with I enjoy my childrens looks and I think attractive engaging people have an easier time of things generally. But it is your personality which warms people to you not solely your looks or intelligence so in all I would choose a high EQ over IQ and looks.

where

There are plenty of very beautiful women, though, who get cheated on or find it hard to find nice men in the first place (I always think of Halle Berry and some of the top models) so I'm not sure being very beautiful and powerful is always an easy combination. Being quite pretty and well-groomed will always attract men of a certain type.

I am always described as 'quite pretty' it feels like being damned with faint praise :). Could be worse I suppose.

It's interesting to see the power a beautiful woman has. I was at a work event and a colleague was there, we were in teams and had to plant vegetables (one of those team building things). She's fairly new, allegedly vastly independently wealthy, and seemed very friendly at first. I've noticed men respond to her in a way I've never seen men respond to a woman before.

We had a gardener looking after us, she took an interest in him, asking where he was from, it seemed very genuine. I was in her team and she told me in no uncertain terms to to F off when the gardener's back was turned. There was a prize given out for the best gardener you see and she wanted to win and wanted me out of the way. We were competing against another company and this woman won a special prize for the 'sexiest gardener' or something like that. Apparently not to do with her looks, although these were acknowledged, but the sensuous way she handled the veg. I know, you couldn't make it up. :)

DH met her afterwards and his eyes were on stalks, so admittedly I am probably a bit jealous. Thing is everyone thinks she's lovely but I am noticing she turns the charm on like a tap. What power she has in the workplace, she's super smart too, I predict she'll go far.

How many of you know a woman who is truly undeniably beautiful in the technical sense? You know the type - you can't stop looking at their face to try and work what the special formula is exactly, but you are looking at it.

Off the top of my head I can only think of two in RL, and I haven't seen one of them for nearly 30 years!

Woman I describe above, I find myself drawn to discover 'what it is exactly'.

Sexiest Gardener for fondling veg

If I HAD to choose one over the other, it would be looks. Life belongs to the pretty-at least that has been my experience/observation generally throughout my lifecycle.

Onetoomanycornettos - all kinds of women get cheated on though. Ugly ones too! That has nothing to do with womens looks per se. More about the man imo.

I love seeing beautiful woman around. A friend and I like spotting potential models, we text each other when we spot one!

But Beauty can come in al shapes and sizes. I saw a gorgeous woman today who was in her 50's at least.

Cortina -

I am having problems getting my head around someone amazingly beautiful, vastly independently wealthy, super smart, feeling the need to win the "who fondles the parsnip most erotically" competition.

But you do know the old adage don't tread on others on your way up to the top, behaviour like that to colleagues will inevitably come back to bite you later. Maybe once her looks have gone too.