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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to rather be stupid than ugly?

161 replies

AtYourCervix · 14/01/2011 09:59

I find I can get away with being a bit thick because I look good.

AIBU and what would you rather be?

OP posts:
lady007pink · 14/01/2011 12:12

QUOTE by Winkie Winkola
"If you're clever, it does have its advantages, of course. But perhaps one can think too much on things, be too aware and informed of the misery in the world, be mindful of one's own failings etc."

That's my problem. Maybe I am clever after all (Grin), but I spend all my time mortified about the way I say things and things I do - I don't express myself too well and my movements can look undignified.

I'd rather be ugly and not have Aspergers.

MsKLo · 14/01/2011 12:12

Depends on what stupid is - without any common-sense is very unattractive

But most importantly - we all have different ideas of beauty and who you find attractive is more than just looks, you have to like the way they think etc
And an inttwligeny person can be very sexy!

deepheat · 14/01/2011 12:13

Yet again, MN is tackling the burning issues of the day Grin.

I am neither stupid nor ugly. In addition, I surround myself with a coterie of beautiful and intelligent friends. I live my life trying to avoid stupidity at all costs - I never shop at Asda for example - and shield myself from ugly people. I stop being friends with people once their age starts to show a little too much. The only media allowed in our house is Radio4 (as much as I would like to read The Times, every now and again you find that there is either a stupid famous person or a normal ugly person on the cover and I simply can't tolerate that).

My life is, I would imagine, perfect. I don't know, because I never see them, but I think that ugly and stupid people must be very, very jealous of me.

MisSalLaneous · 14/01/2011 12:14

Intelligent. Problem with people who are just pretty but nothing else is that whilst they might grab the attention initially, they bore you to death 5 seconds into the conversation.

I've met some average looking people that were so interesting that they became stunning once I spent time with them. Other side of the coin - "pretty" people that lose their shine after a while.

I'd obviously prefer to be stunningly beautiful and intelligent, but if a choice, the latter. Also, one person's pretty is another's ugly - I'm really not attracted to baby faced boys and not too impressed with plastic girls either. Lived in faces do it for me.

FellatioNelson · 14/01/2011 12:16

I'm tempted to trade IQ points for leg inches, but given that I have no idea how many IQ points I am currently in possession of, it could be a dangerous move. I might start buying Take a Break magazine.

I like to think my own special brand of intelligence flies above the Mensa radar. Grin I'd be crap on the Krypton Factor but I'm a sharp cookie when it comes to sussing people.

FellatioNelson · 14/01/2011 12:18

That's me too lady. I over-think things. It's a curse! Most of the really happy people I know don't demand too much of their own brains.

Ormirian · 14/01/2011 12:18

I ahve often wondered what it would be like to be a really head-turner. To have the kind of looks that make people stare. But I guess the pressure would be on to keep things that way and I am not sure that would suit me at all Hmm I have always looked like a sack of spuds and it takes no effort to remain that way. However I am a sack of spuds with a high IQ, and inquiring mind and a kindly happy disposition and that will do for now.

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/01/2011 12:18

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coatgate · 14/01/2011 12:21

Do you all know your IQs then? I just tried to do an online test but my browser would not show the result.

FellatioNelson · 14/01/2011 12:22

My DH has always had a thing for Cheryl Cole - until he saw her being interviewed by Piers Morgan. He has announced that he has gorn orf her because she seems a bit, well, boring, and dim.

That's why he's put up with me all these years then - I'm clearly scintillating company. Grin

Niecie · 14/01/2011 12:24

Intelligent.

Actually I don't think I would want to be intelligent and beautiful because people would just assume you were thick because of the way you looked.

I would rather be somebody to have an conversation with than somebody to be looked at but then largely discounted.

Cortina · 14/01/2011 12:26

Definitely being pretty presents you with more opportunities than otherwise. I've noticed beautiful children often grow into adults with lots of confidence.

Someone once said to me 'people are nicer to good looking children' and that was certainly true in my experience. Thinking of my very pretty little friend who got freebies in the sweet shop when I had to pay.

If you were pretty & well turned out when little in our school children would be drawn to you. I was permanently ill it seemed and rather unfortunate looking. I didn't get the 'visible' school parts for this reason, these were reserved for the pretty kids.

I've told the story before of the plain girl who could sing and the beautiful girl who got the star part in our musical school play. The beautiful girl couldn't sing at all, a bit of a flaw for a musical. No problem though as the unfortunate looking one sang for her off stage!

My friend's daughter is worshipped for her beauty it seems. It's ridiculous, people comment on it literally every day, the little girl know says 'I know' in a bored voice when people tell her how pretty she is. Her sister is largely ignored when they out in public, people don't realise it but they are drawn like magnets to the beautiful little girl.

If this little girl grows into a plain adult woman I'll bet she'll still have the advantage of confidence that has grown for these superficial reasons in these early years.

There's a line in the movie Shallow Hall (not terribly high brow but bear with me) that beautiful girls who were 'ugly ducklings' are 'easy' as they don't believe they are good looking. I think that may be true to a degree.

I think of Cheryl Cole. If she was less pretty she'd never have gone as far as she has, although teenagers I meet deny this is why she's on TV. It's apparently because she's uber talented and hard working. Perhaps but with the looks she had she had more life choices than others on the estate in Newcastle perhaps.

slug · 14/01/2011 12:27

I realised aged about 16 I would never be a looker. I am, however, the owner of a fairly impressive IQ.

One of my closest friends is a fair bit further along the looks spectrum. She thinks she's pretty intelligent but, to be honest, she's nowhere near as bright as she thinks she is. So who has had the better life? Depends on how you look at it. We earn about the same, though I have the capacity to earn more should I get off my arse wish. My career has also been more stable as I apply for jobs I can do, rather than ones I think I can do but can't because I'm not actually up to it, so only stay 6 months to a year. I have a fairly solid marriage and child whereas she's divorced with no kids. Yes her ex was a looker, but he left her for a better looking woman.

On the whole I prefer my life to hers.

coatgate · 14/01/2011 12:30

I wonder why, genetically, we are drawn to beautiful people?

GMajor7 · 14/01/2011 12:34

Another dog-faced genius here {grin]

LeQueen · 14/01/2011 12:34

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GMajor7 · 14/01/2011 12:34

Not clever enough to insert smileys though it seems Hmm Grin

Honeybee79 · 14/01/2011 12:42

Both ideally. But I would take intelligence if I had to choose.

It must be very cruel indeed to be a ravishing beauty, to rely on your beauty and let it define you, and then watch it fade. Who are you when it's gone?

Give me brains, brilliance, wit and spark any day. These attributes can make someone who is quite plain beautiful anyway.

FlorenceAndTheMachine · 14/01/2011 12:47

Well seeing as I am not beautiful I shall rely on the fact I am not stupid.

wukter · 14/01/2011 12:49

I'm moderately intelligent and moderately good looking. However I value the brains more as they give ME more joy and pleasure. Whereas being OTHER people get the benefit of looking at a stunna.
In sum, I'd rather be clever because I'm greedy for joy and pleasure.

IloveJackWhite · 14/01/2011 12:50

Not sure which I am, but I think pretty and dumb is probably a very nice thing to be. Ignorance is bliss.

Cortina · 14/01/2011 12:50

Who do you think is beautiful and has benefitted hugely from their beauty alone? Victoria Beckham? Angelina Jolie? Geri Halliwell? What is 'beauty' compared to 'attractiveness'?

wukter · 14/01/2011 12:50

being Blush well I am only moderately clever. I make mistakes like that.

CatIsSleepy · 14/01/2011 12:52

I'd like to be very beautiful for a day or two, just to see what it's like
think that would be enough for me-I imagine there's a lot of unwanted attention that would get a bit boring

but for a day-to-day choice, I'd rather be a bit cleverer than I am now

TheButterflyEffect · 14/01/2011 12:54

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