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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sex education for 5 year olds????

139 replies

etta81 · 13/01/2011 16:28

My daughter is only 2 at the moment so don't really have to worry about this yet but am I mad to be disgusted at the thought of a 5 year old getting sex education at school?? I would even consider taking my daughter out of the lessons!! Why do they need to know about he facts of life at such a young age? I didn't have it and I didn't get pregnant at 13, I think its got more to do with your upbringing and your social circles whether or not you get pregnant at a young age. You can give some kids all the education in the world and they'll still go out and get pregnant because its what their friends are doing.

Maybe the problem is really due to the fact that having kids before marriage is sociably acceptable nowadays and there's no shame in being pregnant at 14, you no longer have to hide away. I don't think that you should be hidden away or that its wrong to have kids if you're not married, its just a thought.

Am I just being naive or does anyone else feel like this.

OP posts:
nemofish · 13/01/2011 17:11

Blimey sorry for the essay, got a bit emotional I think... Blush

wigglesrock · 13/01/2011 17:16

etta81 but you don't know what they will be taught. I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old and am 35 weeks pregnant, both have asked how did baby get there, how will baby get out etc, I think that is the level of "sex education" we are talking about.

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 13/01/2011 17:23

YABVU

Try the Daily Mail comment boards - I'm sure you'll find lots of people who agree with your ill-informed views there. Hmm

MumInBeds · 13/01/2011 17:26

Sex education at 5 is tabloid talk to get people worked up, anything taught would be age appropriate.

No-one is telling you that your child has to have these lessons, you don't even have to send her to school, you are quite free to home educate.

Deaddei · 13/01/2011 17:27

Perhaps you should home educate.

OmniumAndGatherum · 13/01/2011 17:48

Why all the unpleasantness towards the OP? Her view is perfectly valid, even if it doesn't coincide with the MN mafia view.

borderslass · 13/01/2011 17:56

Sex education for 5 years olds was just starting to be phased in here when DD2 stated school for that age it was basically how their body worked not much else.

WhenPaperclipsAttack · 13/01/2011 17:58

So your main argument is that you don't like the idea of teachers actually teaching your child things without carefully vetting what they can say?

Well you'd best home educate like Deaddei says, and never let them see a TV programme or a book or newspaper or a website unless you've viewed and agreed it first. There is some very scary biologically accurate information in some of those primarily school biology textbooks that might label what a penis is and what breasts are.

ScotlandR · 13/01/2011 18:21

I knew the basics at this age Hmm IMO a lot of things taught at school are taught because parents can't be relied upon to do so e.g. time telling, manners.

sex-ed for a five year old is along the lines of "mummy has an egg, daddy has a seed". It is a fair question for a five year old to ask, but as I say, parents cannot be relied on to answer it. They either don't know or won't tell.

And what on earth ELSE would you tell your DC when they ask where babies come from???

P.S. I can sincerely promise that your DC will be unlikely to get to five without asking you "where do babies come from?"

JamieLeeCurtis · 13/01/2011 18:23

The sex education for 5 year olds is really tame compared to what my DSs asked me an the answers I gave them

Stop worrying

pigletmania · 13/01/2011 18:26

As long as its handled sensitively and age appropriate, I dont see the problem.

Oldposternamechanger · 13/01/2011 18:27

YABU - It's not going to be a graphic dvd explaining blowjobs and buggery fgs!!!

I think it's a fantastic idea. It will be age appropriate, 5 yr olds will learn how their body is their own, and how other people have no right to touch it, that boys and girls have different bits, how we are all the same in theory but all a little bit different etc.

From there the lessons will progress as the children get older.

My dd is 6 and knows that babies come from your vagina, she hasn't yet asked how they get there though.

It's a fact of life, it's not dirty or abnormal. It won't make kids want to have sex earlier, it will educate them to think carefully when deciding about having sex, to practice safe sex and know the consequences if they don't.

JamieLeeCurtis · 13/01/2011 18:28

Omnium - does your DCs school not follow the National Curriculum?

JamieLeeCurtis · 13/01/2011 18:29

.. sorry, I see you have answered my question above Blush

WimpleOfTheBallet · 13/01/2011 18:32

I don't want the state teaching my chid abot relationships though...we learn about that from our family. I would argue that children from "at risk" backgrounds may benefit from such lessons...but not others.

sarahitaly · 13/01/2011 18:47

Kids don't grow up inside impervious bubbles that allow for parents to put a time line on when the issue should be introduced, according to their comfort zone.

Are you not concerned that if neither you, nor the school tackles the subject of sex ed that the first\primary source of information is going to be the garbled version they get from the playground ?

I went to a private school in a nice area (just in case anybody thinks a certain kind of education is a vaccination against "peer teaching") and still remember Murray Clark spending the odd break time horrifying all the girls with tall tales about boys peeing inside girls to make babies, when we were about five or sixish.

defineme · 13/01/2011 18:49

You remind me of the fuss when ds1 had sex ed, nobody seemed to mind the kittens being born bit, but god forbid their precious dds find out that a part of their body was called a clitorous- all hell broke loose, was hilarious.

My 6yrold twins know basic facts, including how the sperm gets to the egg, and don't seem overly concerned-all this in response to their questions.

I wish Britain could be more like the Netherlands, but schools are never going to fix the fact that British people bring their kids up top believe that naked bodies and sex are rude, funny, naughty, exciting, mysterious and secret. Which will contribute to the fact that babies have babies in this country on a regular basis.

tazmosis · 13/01/2011 18:54

YABU- my DD's (5 & 6) both know how babies are made and how they are born. We have always used the correct name for body parts - so that there is no embarrassment.

I think that this hysteria around sex education for young children is strangely Victorian and is what leads many girls (usually) to be afraid to say no or to talk to an adult about unwanted sexual experiences.

These are the facts of how we came to be alive - why is it so secret and embarrassing? It makes no sense to me. It's only a big issue if we choose to make it one.

Personally I don't think this is a MN Mafia reaction - I think it is educated, intelligent and level headed people reacting to a rather silly response to the issue.

tazmosis · 13/01/2011 18:57

defineme you are so very right - the British still have that 'Ooooo Maatron!' attitude to sex and peoples bodies.

Any reference to a body part signals the need for a 'fna fna' smutty response.

I personally think that it's very sad and the only way we change it is to start to give out the information factually so kids know that these are just the simple facts of life. Not some dirty smutty secret that is never mentioned out loud - unless you're trying to be outrageous or make a dirty joke.

AMumInScotland · 13/01/2011 19:00

Omnium - the reaction to the OP is largely because she has decided to be "disgusted" about something without having very much knowledge about it. She appears to have seen headlines about how terrible it is for 5 year olds to have "sex education" and is reacting to that with shock and horror instead of trying to find out from parents what "sex education" at this age actually involves.

If she still doesn't want her child to have it, once she actually understands what it involves, and knows what 5 year olds are like, then that's her choice.

Lamorna · 13/01/2011 19:12

I think that you are getting way ahead of yourself and making a mountain out of a molehill! Sex education for 5 yr olds is appropriate to their age. It isn't the sex education that you would have at 10 yrs or 13 yrs. You can discuss it with the school, when you actually get to that stage.

StewieGriffinsMom · 13/01/2011 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lochnessmumster · 13/01/2011 19:23

YABU. For a start your daughter is only wee now, you'll be surprised by how inquisitive she'll be by the time she's 5.
Also, the term "sex education" is a bit misleading. It's all age appropriate and as has already been said, is more abut names for bits and bobs.
While i'm here though i would like to tell the OP how offensive your judgements on teenage and unmarried mothers are.
Thank god the school will be there to give your child a broader outlook on life than you'll be capable of.

sarahitaly · 13/01/2011 19:35

"Perhaps you should home educate".

Is there some recruitment drive going on on our behalf that I didn't get a memo about ?

Dear OP, yes you can HE, but bear in mind that HEed kids are just children who don't go to mainstream schools, not a separate species entirely, so the kids at home ed groups can take over from where the school kids in the playground left off in terms of "sex ed via informal peer teaching"....

DrSeuss · 13/01/2011 19:46

I would strongly suggest that you withdraw your child from any screenings of either "Debbie does Dallas" or "9 and a half Weeks".

School trips to Soho are also best avoided.