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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think swinging is URRGH!?

640 replies

TurkeyBurgerThing · 13/01/2011 10:44

There is are two couples on This Morning just now talking about their love for swinging. They're just your normal looking every day couples. One couple own a swinging hotel and they do to clubs.

I find this really sleazy and just plain weird. She's saying that it's really common amongst primary school teachers too!!

Eeeew I bet they'll be swapping after the show.

AIBU to think this is a very strange thing to do and be so open about?

OP posts:
Oblomov · 15/01/2011 11:30

I've been around long enough for most classic ref's not to be much of a shock to me. But you have lost me. Please link and put me out of my misery.

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 15/01/2011 11:48
ledkr · 15/01/2011 11:49

If some people find shagging a pregnant woman a turn on is that purely down to shape or is it the fact that there is a baby "present" if that is the case is this not along the lines of chid abuse?I can think of no circumstance i would allow my baby or child to provide erotic feelings for an adult?This is a very emotive question but as a pg woman and a Mum i would genuinely like to get some perspective on this.I promise i am not being provocative.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 15/01/2011 11:50

I am weeing my pants with laughter at this thread.. especailly at Chickens with her 'think of the Volvo owner' oh mercy, that is gonna tickle me for ages.

ledkr · 15/01/2011 11:52

why would "no mother want that for their daughter" if it is so acceptable? That is very confusing,does that mean you would prefer your daughter to be mundane and vanilla?Again an adult question in genuine curiosity.

LeQueen · 15/01/2011 11:53

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LeQueen · 15/01/2011 11:54

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Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 15/01/2011 11:58

I was just going to ask that ledkr, I wouldn't want that for my daughter.....implies that it is not normal.

Which statistically, it isn't if you were to look at sexual behaviour on a bell curve.

Incidentally no one mentioned anything about pouring scorn on their daughter, or son for that matter.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 12:03

I'm with LeQueen. If I ever have a daughter I'd be teaching her some self respect and how to protect her body from vultures-least of all act as some sort of meat for them to divulge. I shall also be teaching this to my son, but I don't think I have to worry quite as much.

it saddens me that so many people on here think it is acceptable for one woman to be "taken" by a queue of men. And if the woman, in question, has "chosen" this, then she obviously missed the other boxes that were available to tick.

Aside from her consenting is it any different from gang rape? 8 men 1 woman, is there not some sort of sinister underlying factor concerning this? Do any of you supporters question if this is healthy and giving men some sort of sick idea that it is acceptable and therefore go on to gang rape other women?

It's like boxing, just because it is in a controlled environment doesn't make it acceptable. If anything it encourages people to fight-when outside of the ring, with people who are not trained fighters.

Animation · 15/01/2011 12:04

Yes I would hope my daughter would choose EMPATHIC sex over this empty, self-serving, souless variety.

Nancy66 · 15/01/2011 12:10

I've been to a swingers party.

(for work purposes I must add - red top reporter)

Horrible. Eyes Wide Shut it ain't. Lots of unattractive, overweight, tattooed, low Q people all fucking (never saw a condom) on stained mattresses.

ledkr · 15/01/2011 12:18

did we stop the thread ladies?I do hope not.

Oblomov · 15/01/2011 12:20

Don't agree with LadyManor's boxing comparison. Hmm
"I was just going to ask that ledkr, I wouldn't want that for my daughter.....implies that it is not normal." Thats right Binfull. I am saying, as are many of us, that this is NOT NORMAL for a woman to want this.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 12:21

You don't have to accept it.

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 15/01/2011 12:22

But you're pouring scorn and disgust on swingers here, so why would you treat your adult child differently if that's what they turned out to enjoy doing Binfull?

ledkr "why would "no mother want that for their daughter" if it is so acceptable? That is very confusing,does that mean you would prefer your daughter to be mundane and vanilla?Again an adult question in genuine curiosity."

For me personally, if my adult child (or friend, for that matter) were letting multiple men fuck her in one night, then I would have concerns about both physical safety and emotional safety. I'd worry about the higher risk of STDs, and about what was going on with her emotionally that she felt the need to open her body to all comers (quite literally!).

Everyone has fastened on that incident of the men queueing up to fuck the woman in the club I was at. But I didn't know anything about her, and nor do you. They might not have been 'random strangers' - they may have been good friends on the swinging scene who were helping her play out a fantasy of 'sex with strangers' or even being raped. I don't know any swingers, but the ones who've posted on this thread seem to have talked more about having sex with one or two other people at a time, in private. That would concern me less in terms of health (emotional and physical) risks.

As to whether I'd prefer my DD to be 'mundane and vanilla' in her sexual tastes - I don't give a flying fuck what she is so long as she's safe and happy. Wink

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 12:28

"And by the way, YES, I HAVE enjoyed a queue of men behind me".

This is what we have "latched" onto. FBWife (? cannot be bothered to scroll up and check). This is what she said she does.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 15/01/2011 12:31

I haven't poured disgust at all actually and equal scorn to the insinuation of a mundane lifestyle.

I am more concerned with the fact that people are trying to normalize it and I am just generally taking the piss because I find it all rather hysterical, unconvincing and bit lame...

Now we have people saying it is fine to swing but they don't want their kids doing it because it is not fine.

So is it or isn't it?

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 12:33

It isn't.

fbwife · 15/01/2011 12:45

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fbwife · 15/01/2011 12:46

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Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 15/01/2011 12:49

Yes fb but you and your husband created the baby and the relationship you have around it is a caring protecting one.

This was a man who just got off on humping pregnant women I assume.

So I would say the answer would be to ask your open minded husband if he would want to hump a heavily pregnant woman - and if the answer is yes, why?

Then that would answer her question.

fbwife · 15/01/2011 12:51

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fbwife · 15/01/2011 12:54

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LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 12:56

If you marriage is that great and that happy why do you seek other people to have sex with?

dejavuaswell · 15/01/2011 12:57

I never worked out if "Extended" was a troll from the start, became a troll half way through the thread or was just very, very strange.

I was never over clear about his/her gender either.

Don't have food or drink with you when you get to the lambing shed section! Trust me!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/812225-Bit-a of-a-vent-about-univited-groping