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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think swinging is URRGH!?

640 replies

TurkeyBurgerThing · 13/01/2011 10:44

There is are two couples on This Morning just now talking about their love for swinging. They're just your normal looking every day couples. One couple own a swinging hotel and they do to clubs.

I find this really sleazy and just plain weird. She's saying that it's really common amongst primary school teachers too!!

Eeeew I bet they'll be swapping after the show.

AIBU to think this is a very strange thing to do and be so open about?

OP posts:
wizardora · 14/01/2011 21:01

Eeeuw horrible mental image of DD's primary school teacher swinging Blush

LeQueen · 14/01/2011 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gay40 · 14/01/2011 21:04

Yeah I know, I'm lucky enough to be in that situation myself. Not everyone is, or wants to be.

Oblomov · 14/01/2011 21:05

I find the idea of Swinging gross. But then I am very traditional and like the idea of mononogmy, and think that once someone has cheated the marriage is over.
I don't mind people shagging as many peole as they want to. But I do mind it within a relationship.

Gay40 · 14/01/2011 21:05

However, I'm not the moralising majority or outraged from Milton Keynes.

Gay40 · 14/01/2011 21:07

This is it: I've no interest in swinging, and wouldn't want DP to be either, but I don't find it disgusting or immoral. Fortunately neither of us are interested, but if we were, then it's time to potter our separate ways with like-minded folk.

LeQueen · 14/01/2011 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissQue · 14/01/2011 21:12

The way I see it, it's nobody's business but your own. If you are in a good relationship and both consent and feel good about it, then I don't see what the problem is. Single women are popular on the scene too Wink

From my experience, it tends to be very respectful, you set out your boundaries and everyone else has to adhere to that, especially at parties where there are more than two couples. Safe sex is paramount and it's all just about having a bit of fun.

I don't think it's cheating at all, cheating is about deceit, going behind your partner's back and fulfilling your own desires with no regard for your partner. If you agree to do it as a couple, then it's all consenting and nobody is being deceived.

BrianAndHisBalls · 14/01/2011 21:15

I namechange when i'm about to call you a cunt LeQ Grin

I don't bother what anyone else does sexually as long as consenting. I do object to the 'mundane' and 'vanilla' jibes though. All a little childish. Oh yes I'm so vanilla, I only slept with my partner when pregnant, I should have been going to swinging clubs to get fucked, otherwise a stranger might call me 'a mundane' on mn Hmm

emmyloulou · 14/01/2011 21:19

I don't think swinging is disgusting.

No more so than any other type of fetish or sexual act.

It's not my bag but meh, I dare say half the stuff I get up to is not other peoples idea of fun.

As long as it's consenting adults, with no coercion, money, explotation, I don't see the problem.

Some people don't do monogamy and swinging is a choice made by them together.

FellatioNelson · 14/01/2011 21:26

I agree emmylou. I still find it a bit ick though.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 14/01/2011 22:47

Only a bit of one though. You will have to try harder if you want to add that to your spreadsheet.

fbwife · 15/01/2011 07:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 08:30

Unlike some weirdos people on this thread, I find swinging, while in a relationship, cheating.

"It isn't an affair because we don't get emotionally attached".

I refuse to accept that. If my husband slept with a prostitute I hardly expect to hear wedding bells, it doesn't mean he wasn't unfaithful.

I find the whole mass orgy a sick perversion. And while people who "lick boots" don't sicken me as much, they are strange.

Thankfully they have clubs for these people to prevent them from entering main stream society Wink

Animation · 15/01/2011 08:31

"YES, I HAVE enjoyed a queue of men behind me"...

Oh please - ENOUGH!

fbwife · 15/01/2011 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldMumsy · 15/01/2011 08:39

Outraged from MK could take one of these with him/her:-

www.bellesescorts.co.uk/guide/milton-keynes+swingers

Come on, you know you want to..... Grin

LadyOfTheManor · 15/01/2011 08:40

Yes, I'd gladly see you there, as long as you aren't wearing a studded collar being lead on a leash by a man in gimp mask.

That kinda stuff doesn't enter mainstream society, as it is locked up in clubs :o

Oblomov · 15/01/2011 08:43

The best thing about this thread has been LeQueen's Brenda.
Is there a series ?

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 15/01/2011 09:44

Animation "Oh please - ENOUGH!"

Sorry, is someone forcing you to read this thread? Why don't you fuck off then? Hmm

I can't believe some the prurient outrage on this thread, and the judgemental loathing expressed towards those who don't share your mores and values.

Why on earth does it disgust you so much what other adults choose to do with their bodies? Hmm

StuffingGoldBrass · 15/01/2011 10:19

The reason why some swingers are happy to discuss their choices and sexual tastes in public is to inform other people who might like to swing but are nervous of being judged that it's OK, you don't have to be perfectly beautiful to do it and if you (or you and your partner) fancy trying it out, you will not be executed or forever barred from mundane society.
And the reason I am hapy to give you pig-ignorant small-minded mundanes such a keyboard kicking on threads like this is a) you deserve it and b) you started it. I don't generally start threads saying that the heteromonogamous are only that way because they are too unattractive for anyone but their legally-obliged-to-do-so partners would ever shag them.

Animation · 15/01/2011 10:21

Peering -

What infact are you CHOOSING to do with you body when you are bent over - with a line of men waiting to FUCK you.

Tell me about that CHOICE? What's that all about?

Is it healthy for your self respect?

I mean really??

StuffingGoldBrass · 15/01/2011 10:27

Yup, group sex can be very healthy for your self-respect, if you enjoy it. Some of you are perhaps not aware that the general etiquette in swingers' clubs includes (and emphasises) choice to the extent that someone who is having sex with four or five people at a time is still entirely at liberty to, and expected to, refuse another person if s/he is unappealing or impolite.
I say this having occasionally had to interrupt an enjoyable foursome to say to another individual 'No not you, you are not invited thanks now sod off.'

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 15/01/2011 10:29

Animation - The fact that YOU wouldn't want to do something doesn't mean that others wouldn't. Have some imagination for god's sake.

Oblomov · 15/01/2011 10:32

"God, no wonder people have hang ups, when this nonsense about it being special and precious is perpetuated ffs. It's a physical act which feels good. There's seriously no need to attach these mystical and moral attributes to it." Gay40 are you refering to sex, generally.
Because sex is more thna just physical. It is so very very intimate and loving. Its not just base. Its so much deeper than that. Sex is not supposed to be just physical. Its the emotional side, with alonside the physical, that takes it to a deeper level.
Where does swinging fit in, with that side of it ?

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