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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So be honest; would you turn your child over to the police if he'd/she'd commited a crime?

89 replies

poshsinglemum · 12/01/2011 18:36

I think a similar thread has been done about the student who has been jailed for throwing a fire extinguisher off a roof during a student [protest. WWWYD?

OP posts:
poshsinglemum · 12/01/2011 18:37

oooops- just seen very similar thread and sorry about the typos!

OP posts:
Catrinm · 12/01/2011 18:38

I think it depends on the crime.

Murder, rape, arson, terrorism yes, a silly drunken act of vandalism, no. The student protester.... no probably not!

Catrinm · 12/01/2011 18:39

Also depends how old he is X

LadyOfTheManor · 12/01/2011 18:39

I wouldn't turn my son in, but I'd give him a bollocking and ultimatum encourage him to own up himself.

Goblinchild · 12/01/2011 18:40

I really don't think I could.

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 12/01/2011 18:42

I'd just make them feel guilty enough to do it themselves

there's no way it would come to me having to do it

noddyholder · 12/01/2011 18:43

No

BabyDubsEverywhere · 12/01/2011 18:45

I'm with catrimn it depends on too many factors for a clear yes or no ithink.

FrequentNutter · 12/01/2011 18:46

Depends on the crime. Petty crime the answer is no.

JamieLeeCurtis · 12/01/2011 18:47

I'd make them do it themselves. If they didn't - I'd have to think again. In principle, yes, I think I would

charliesmommy · 12/01/2011 18:48

It would depend on the crime. This was a serious offence, and it was only a matter of time before he was identified and arrested anyway.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 12/01/2011 18:51

I have three teens; it's difficult to say. It would depend on the crime I think.

The student in the news, well I feel a bit sad that he got the sentence he did. He was foolish, he did it in the heat of the moment and no-one was hurt, although I get that itcould have been really bad.

My ds was the victim of a knife crime (probably pre-planned) and his attacker got a lot less than that. Go figure.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 12/01/2011 18:51

Would depend on the crime. If it was a serious crime, I'd encourage him/her to turn themselves in - if they didn't, then yes, I would. I couldn't live with myself knowing that another family were going through such hell, and I simply wouldn't be able to look at my child, knowing what they'd done.

Petty crime - it would depend. If it was a regular occurence, we probably wouldn't have a relationship anyway and so again I probably would. If it was just a one-off, then I honestly don't know...it would depend what it was and what the circumstances were

mumofloads · 12/01/2011 18:51

Petty crime, no but i would sure as hell make them pay in some other way.

Murder, rape, house breaking, mugging yes with no hesitation.

annapolly · 12/01/2011 18:59

I would, I know because I have. My DD committed a burglary with some school friends.

I knew she had been hanging around with a boy that had been in a lot of trouble.

I found DVDs and cigarettes in my house hidden under the stairs and knew they had come from the burgled house.

I told the police, had her arrested and left her in the cells for a night.

She had been hanging around with a bad lot and drinking since a bereavement.

At the point I found her stash I never considered not shopping her. If I had covered for her she would have dragged me down to her level.

She went to court and was given counselling and has never put a foot wrong since.

She says it was her wake up call and thinks I did the right thing.

theywillgrowup · 12/01/2011 18:59

nobody can truly say till something like that happened,but i suppose as parents we could hazzard a guess

no i dont think i could,its a good ????? as was reading that thread and that the sentence was a bit tough but most thought different and i did think to myself that maybe they would of thought different if it was their child in that position

KalokiMallow · 12/01/2011 18:59

Yes.

maktaitai · 12/01/2011 19:04

Definitely for petty crime, nicking or anything to do with drink driving, actually anything vehicle-related. I would have turned in my son for the fire extinguisher thing. Possibly because i would not have thought the sentence would be so long.

I would hold back from reporting possession of non-class A drugs because of the number of countries that would bar him from entry with a conviction. But I would go ballistic.

for violent crime i would try to get himself to turn himself in. i would have to be absolutely certain before i dobbed him myself.

allfurcoatandnoknicks · 12/01/2011 19:17

Unless it was serious, like rape, murder, arson etc then no i wouldn't.

My dm(not) reported me for a crime i didnt commit - she claimed i'd beaten her up. This resulted in me being arrested in front of my dd aged 4 at the time and held in a cell for 4 hours then questioned and released. Once the police took statements from people who had supposedly witnessed the alleged attack i was told they would take no further action against me. I'll never ever forgive her.

AllHailDaddyPig · 12/01/2011 19:24

Absolutely not - nobody on the planet matters more than my DD and I love her unconditionally, and would protect her no matter what. I'll always be the one person she can depend on, no matter what, I'd always find a way to support her.

scurryfunge · 12/01/2011 19:28

You can still support someone even if you report them AllHail. Would you protect your daughter if she killed your mother?

Grumpla · 12/01/2011 19:28

It depends on the crime and the circumstances but I would lean towards reporting rather than protecting. Especially with a teenager. Otherwise it's just another chance to avoid the consequences of their actions.

KalokiMallow · 12/01/2011 19:29

You'd stop them from facing the consequences of criminal activity AllHailDaddyPig?

DublinMammy · 12/01/2011 19:30

I definitely would. Annapolly you are my hero!

AllHailDaddyPig · 12/01/2011 19:31

What a ridiculous question...but yes no matter what I'd never have her sent to jail. I'd rather take the blame and go to jail myself. I will always be the person she can trust to be on her side.

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