The OFFICIAL buddy bench/naughty bench thread No. 4

[Teaandcakeplease]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tired mum, Elmo, AF, HE, Cheesey and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

Hi all, update - ds2 is a lot better, ds1 is still ill, fingers crossed he is feeling better tomorrow

Tea/cheerful sorry to hear you are going through a tough time but i do know how you feel just no ideas here have another

Yes gomummy i think we are ready, well i hope we are

Mmm, wine... :)

If he's calm Tea then we've had lots of sucess with "Lie here quietly and mommmy or daddy will be in to check on you in five minutes" then ten, fifteen, etc. (He's usually asleep after five) But when he wakes in the middle of the night he just screams and kicks and totally loses his mind! I think he wakes because for a long time DH would lie with him until he fell asleep, and so when DS rolled over in the night and DH wasn't there he'd come looking for him.

I am thinking of ordering this so that he knows when it's night and when it's morning. During our Minnesota winter it can still be pitch black at 7:30 in the morning, so it's hard to tell! :) And if I make sure he has a cup of water, etc, I think he will understand he's not to get up until the bunny does. :)

It's just so hard, isn't it? I was exhausted all day and so was DS, he was horribly cranky. I gave him lots of cuddles and explained that he's feeling so yucky because he didn't get his sleep. Oh well, we'll get there! It's already night time where you are, so I hope everyone in your house is sleeping peacefully!

That sounds like night terrors Cheerful. I used to go in just before they happened, as they seemed to happen at the same time every night and stroke DD's back. There were other good tips in Marc Weissbluth's book I have it next door I should go and look in it for you. A bit like Candle and Ferber's book this book was the one I referred to a lot. I'm wondering whether my DS is clingy as he maybe getting his last set of teeth now.

Busy day ahead here. FIL coming over and we're catching the train into London with DC to go to the London Aquarium. Kids will love it.

Hands tea & cheerful a strong did you have a better night last night?

Morning all, hope you've had some sleep. It is no fun at all, lots of empathy here.

Cheerful we have the bunny clock (not the same one, but similar idea). It didn't help for long here though as DS learned to change the time, and when I'd tell him at 3am that it was still nighttime, he'd say "Just wait a minute, mummy"...then change the clock so the bunny would get up, and say "See? Now it's morning! Lets play!" Hope you have more success with it though.

What are you all up to this weekend? We were outside for a sleigh ride this morning but didn't last long as it was -20.

Hello :)

Having an awful time with family atm (not dh and ds thankfully) and I am totally worn out 'sigh'

I haven't read back but hope you are all ok and are well, will be around next week when school starts again and will try and read back then x

Hi Valium

at you still having family there , no wonder you are worn out

Sleigh ride sounds like fun gomummy but Brrrrrr at it still being -20 . When does spring normally Kick in ?

I hope cheerful & Tea have a better nights sleep tonight .

Hi elmo i am here hope you are ok

Valium sorry to hear you are havin probs, if you wanna chat you know where we are

Blimey gomummy that is bloomin freezing, i hope you wrapped up warm, have a and warm up

Ugh, sorry to hear that Valium. You have my sympathy, visiting family is rough. Hope you have lots of support from DH and DS!

Spring will be here in April Elmo, and we are counting the days! Yep we were wrapped up warm Tiredmum but still not pleasant out in that weather.

Hi all! :) It's still around that temperature here too, gomummy, and I'm done with it! Bring on the sun! :)

DS did sleep better the other night, I think he was just exhausted. LOL at gomummy's DS changing the clock! They're not night terrors tea, he's definitely awake. I think he's just really irrational and cranky when he's over tired like his mum. :o The little boy I nannied for used to get night terrors, they're so awful aren't they?! You just feel so helpless!

Valium what's the story with your family? Did I miss something?

Tiredmum are you just counting down the days? I'm so excited for you. I can't wait!!!!

Tomorrow I'm going to have a sleepover at my best friend's house to watch the Oscars...I'm calling in to work on Monday. But the Oscars are a really big deal for us! :) We watch them together with snacks and lots and lots a few glasses of wine every year.

DH took DS to buy some new shoes for soccer today (or football ) I can't believe he's old enough to be in sports already! Where does the time go?!

Soccer already, that will make him seem so grown up! It is all too fast for my liking actually! DH and I were looking at photos from when DS was born the other night and I got all teary-eyed, I just can't believe the stages that are already gone forever! :( Told DH if I could do it all over I wouldn't have been so organized and productive - I'd do nothing but sit and stare at him all day every day.

:( I feel the same way!

If you're still awake, check out the AIBU thread I just posted. Another about my friend's bullying husband.

Hoping you ladies won't consider it rude to copy my enormous post I just typed on the ante natal thread I'm a part of. As I'd like your thoughts too:

Yesterday was good. DS was tired by 11am and getting troublesome at the Aquarium. I used the Ergo sling on the undergound but once in the actual aquarium I let him wander about on reins and look at the fish etc. Once he started to become a handful I put him back in the sling. He slept for about 20 minutes until DD fell over and cried and hugged me loudly and woke him. So he was one grumpy tricky man from that point on really. Once we hopped on the train again at about 2pm he seemed happier. He hated the tubes, the noise on the actual tubes as they moved made him cry and cry. On the overground London Midland train from Euston to Watford though he was very happy. It was a lovely day, I tried to put DS's behaviour in perspective, as a good day with a toddler does inevitably involve some drama DD was a gem though.

My plan of action on the boys jack in the box at night will be consistent bedtime and a nap and a silent return him to bed. I've been thinking about it and I'm sure as he was a good sleeper before, if I try to be mega consistent, this stage will pass. It was bound to happen with moving him to a bed, that he'd want to get up for hugs and to see what was going on. The trouble is I think when he rouses a bit now, he's forcing himself awake to come and see me and I need to get him back on track as the lack of sleep is making me shattered and it's not good for him, and his behaviour in the day is deteriorating because of it too. In fact he's waking earlier and earlier now too because of being tired and all of the jack in the box shenanigans.

On the upside when the clocks change in a few weeks he'll adjust very easily

I've been thinking about my trip to Scotland to see FIL at Easter. I've finally agreed to go up with them now they're older. I've said I won't go up more than twice a year because of the distance. They've said I can take the train and they'll pay or drive. So I've been thinking about the pros and cons. They'd need to get some car seats if I caught the train, which does seem a waste of money to me. Although they do not mind. I'd also need a baby monitor. I've never needed one here but their house is huge, I'd never hear them downstairs in the evening. I may even need to buy a stairgate to contain DS a little. Or shut the doors perhaps? He cannot open doors yet. If I drive I can pack more things. They do not have any toys up there at all really. Also I doubt DS would remain sitting nicely on a 7.5 hr train ride and I'll end up chasing him up and down the carriage - much to the annoyance of the other passengers I suspect. In the car if I borrow a DVD player for a car from a friend, maybe he'd be more settled and sleep better as I drive?

My mind is going round and round right now. I'm sure there's plenty I haven't thought of. What do you ladies think? Ex H is coming along too to help this time.

Hi tea

I think driving up to Scotland would be the better option for reasons you have said ,
dc's will most likely sleep for some of the journey & the dvd player is a great idea . Could you ask FIL to buy a monitor for their house ?[i doubt they would mind seeing as they were prepared to buy car seats etc] & could your EXH do some of the driving ?

We had a bit of trouble last night involving ds
I have started a thread in chat , would really like your opinions ladies please x
[[
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1159993-How-far-have-you-been-driven-to-protect-your-child-from-bullies?msgid=24057637#]]

First of all massive Elmo. I am SO sorry that you and your family are going through this. Poor DS. Your DH has done the right thing (major pat on the back for DH, btw), and I agree with those who have said it must also be reported to the police. Iron bar takes it to a different level, imo.

I wish I had any kind of help to offer. It is so wrong. :( The one good thing is that your DS talks to you though, says a lot for you and your DH as parents. It must be extraordinarily difficult for you to know this is happening. I can only offer a supportive inbox if you ever need to vent. Really wish I could do more, it is gut wrenching to think about what you are all dealing with.

Tea, I agree with Elmo, another vote for driving. Mostly because of the flexibility to stop as needed, burn off some energy running around if necessary, etc. 7.5 hours in a train car would intimidate me, and I only have one to contend with.

Oh missed cheerful's post. Duly commented now

Elmo - your post made me so sad - how awful for you all. This would really finish me I'm afraid - have you asked for a copy of school's child protection and bullying policies to find out what the official documents say that school are supposed to do about it?

We are in the midst of our worst snowstorm of the year, by far, it is brutal. Then I get home (40 minute drive that took 2 hours) and come on MN to find a . I am so at the very thought of daffodils already!

How is DS today Elmo?

Did you get some sleep Tea and Cheerful?

Sending beautiful bunches of to one and all.

Snow doesn't sound much fun gomummy.

Hello

I have commented on your thread Elmo -how utterly horrible

I dreamed of snow last night!!

Good morning ladies

Thanks to all you lovely ladies for your replies on my thread xx & for cheerfuls offer to sell a kidney

Ds is good thanks , x has stayed well away from him thanks to dh's little chat
Ds is going out with his school today for lunch as a special treat before his conformation which is nice & he's looking forward to that {i'm praying to god that he enjoys it & gets no hassle from bullies}

Gomummy More snow you must be fed up of snow by now .

DS woke twice last night. He's overtired and has a shiner now where he headbutted my dressing table corner yesterday morning when he slipped off my lap whilst I was drying my hair

There's a few snow drops and grocuses (sp?) out here but no daffodils yet. But also no snow. Sorry GoMummy x

I shall blame your dream then Valium, we are going to get another 30cm on Thursday! And it's going to be -30 overnight, argh! I am of the crocuses Tea, I love when they poke their little heads through to announce that spring is coming!

Glad DS is doing ok Elmo, am so on his behalf, and yours. It must be really hard for you and DH.

I have a probably embarrassingly dumb question, what is St. David's day?

Thanks gomummy,

Someone has just thrown a large stone at our living
room window, we didn't see who it was but id bet money that it is the little
sh*t that dh gave out to on saturday night
I'm so fed up

Aw elmo,maybe you should speak to the police, and install a camera to catch the lil shite, sorry you are going through this, i hope your ds is ok

Well i caught the sickness bug off the boys , so apologies that i havent been about