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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

554 replies

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 19:32

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

OP posts:
stillbobbysgirl · 11/01/2011 21:56

OH FGS! Will you just stop now OP?!

WestYorkshirePudding · 11/01/2011 21:57

And this is why you have to stop doing some of the things you like to do before you have kids.

Going to cafes, pubs, restaurants is great when you are child-free or they're in car seats stuck under the table next to you but sometimes you just have to admit you can't go to these places anymore.

Oh, and you are most definitely BU (as if you have to ask)

readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 21:57

If he was safe, you didnt need to warn the lady. If you needed to warn her, you must have realised he could run out in front of her, or not be seen by her. Ergo, not safe.

BringOnTheGoat · 11/01/2011 21:57

You didn't just warn her he was there - you told her to be careful! Besides YOUR child is not hers to be careful of. I disagree with people treating DC like second class, they have same rights to be anywhere, but they are not concious of others in the same way adults are, so it's YOUR job as parent to tell DC to be careful.

Besides the MAIN issue here is the Jeremy Kyle stylee follow and row at the table!!!

northerngirl41 · 11/01/2011 21:57

You need to apologise because you told off a complete stranger who wasn't doing anything wrong.

If you'd placed some jewellry on the floor of a pub, would you really have the audacity to say to a total stranger "Watch out for my jewellry!" ? Children are far more precious than jewellry and yet you seem to think it's perfectly okay to leave them lying about all over the place.

In terms of keeping the toddler strapped in and abandoning him and the baby, thus risking a meltdown:

  1. Why would you abandon your children like that?
  2. Is there perhaps not a clue in the arrangement of the bar that they don't want buggies in there? Although I doubt this is the case because most Weatherspoons are wheelchair accessible.
  3. If that's how your son is going to behave and you knew that, why were you in there in the first place?
Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 21:58

vallhala which is exactly why i ensured that the lady carrying one was aware there was a toddler near bye

OP posts:
mommmmyof2 · 11/01/2011 21:58

I don't think op would deliberatly put her dc in danger, the woman was also rude to talk about it as she was walking away surely, if I thought a child could have been hurt and I was being concerned then I would have said to her face.

megapixels · 11/01/2011 21:58

YABU, I hate pests who let their toddlers loose in places like that. Hot coffee and an 18 month old wandering about isn't a nice combination. Saying he wouldn't come if you called him to you is really silly, YOU are the parent, you decide where he should be, not him.

Cheggerspartypopper · 11/01/2011 21:58

I think sgm was being satirical, op.

Here, have a Bear to go with your coke.

Vallhala · 11/01/2011 22:00

You've missed my point. As well as that of about a hundred other posters.

It is not for the adult with the hot coffee to be made aware that an 18 month old child is wandering about a pub. It is for the adult in charge of the 18 month old child to control that child and prevent him from wandering about a pub.

readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 22:00

Actually northerngirl, in her defence, the wetherspoons here has the family area up a huge flight of stairs. We had a big defense whinge to each other about it before acclimatising to parenthood Blush, but then realised that the definition of 'family' covers far far more than just the buggy years!

readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 22:02

Vallhala, beautifully and succinctly put Smile

Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:03

northerngirl I didn't abandon my children. There is a lift up to that level, but it was out of order. So are you saying that young children should not go into public places? How will he ever learn how to behave in public places if i don't take him.

OP posts:
Secretwishescometrue · 11/01/2011 22:03

Sorry but I also think you were REALLY out of order following her to her table to argue that she was rude/in the wrong... Neither of you sound like you have very good manners to be honest... And maybe your a bit on the over tired/sensitive side to be taking such a hump over this?

Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:04

Vallhala Why can't toddlers walk around in a public place ?

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:04

Because old ladies can't look where they are going?

OP posts:
BringOnTheGoat · 11/01/2011 22:05

How will he ever learn to behave if YOU do take him?? Hmm

StewieGriffinsMom · 11/01/2011 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:06

I knew I would be judged for drinking coke

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:06

I actually bought the coke for my son not me so ner

OP posts:
Vallhala · 11/01/2011 22:07

A public house is not a public place. It's a licensed premises and as such the licensee or person employed in his place can refuse you entry without explanation.

Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:07

He wasn't misbehaving, he was walking in a room.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:07

I know, I used to own a pub Valhalla

OP posts:
readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 22:07

How will he ever learn how to behave in public places if i don't take him.

Ah, what a whole new train of thought. Yes, how we will he ever learn to be rude and confrontational and think the world revolves around him, unless you can show him?

My dear, children learn bit by bit, in age appropriate places. They also learn the correct behaviour. Or does your wetherspoons have adults wandering aroundaimlessly popping out from behind pillars? (actually, dont answer that one... Wink)

Original poster
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:09

I wouldnt let him get burnt, thats why I was watching him and alerted the lady of his presence.

OP posts:
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