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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

554 replies

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 19:32

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

OP posts:
Vallhala · 11/01/2011 22:09

Sorry, I hit send too soon.

As a licensed premises they can also, within the scope of the law, make their own rules. One of which may well be that children must be under control.

They also have to abide by the law which requires that no child is allowed in the bar area.

unavailable · 11/01/2011 22:09

There are 9 pages of this...
There's not much on tv tonight...

Could these things be connected?

ChickensAreFlyingUnderTheRadar · 11/01/2011 22:09

YABU. And following her back to her table to spout mad things about not strapping children down for her convenience made you look absolutely barking.

readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 22:09

Out of interest, do you point him out to everyone as you walk along the street, just in case they haven't seen him coming? Its the same principle, he is just as likely to walk into someone and get trodden on.

MadameDefarge · 11/01/2011 22:10

am loving the fact OP bought the coke for her 18month old. 'Nuff said.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 11/01/2011 22:10

Reading you are my new Fave Poster

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:11

shameless is on

OP posts:
readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 22:12

In fairness to the op, the lady's tone of voice might well have been judgemental,and got her back up. But op, why cant you see that your approach was wrong. It really is up to you to remove the child from the danger, not boss an adult around. And certainly not follow them to their seat to continue on.

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:13

Well I had to buy him a coke to wash his ickle chicken nuggets down

OP posts:
penguin73 · 11/01/2011 22:13

so many possible responses to the Shameless comment.....must bite tongue.....

jumpingjackhash · 11/01/2011 22:14

Is this a joke? Or one of those 'reverse situation' OPs?

readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 22:15

Boys, sorry I offend you with my posts.

readinginsteadnow · 11/01/2011 22:16

Ooo, very laterally thought out jjflash. So, the op was the lady with the coffee who got shouted at by overprecious mum?

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:17

Well to be honest, I'm just not getting wound up. It isn't a joke, but the coke for the toddler bit was, and the shameless bit was some irony. Reading back, I can see how dreadful it seems.

OP posts:
PatPending · 11/01/2011 22:18

Children should not be wandering about in pubs, cafes, restaurants where hot food and coffees etc. are being served.
You should have been holding onto him and it was not the other woman's responsibility to be worrying that a random child might pop out from behind a pillar.
You also should not have "ordered" her to be careful in that way or harassed her by following her to her table.

So, in summary, YABU - and its not what you want to hear is it?

jumpingjackhash · 11/01/2011 22:18

Could be reading, or why else would she possibly stand by 'her' position for so long?!

Surely no sane person would still be arguing that point?!

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:18

No, I am the Mum with the toddler.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 11/01/2011 22:18

On Edge, I applaud you...who ARE you!

THE COKE! THE NUGGETS, THE SMELLY OLD LADY, THE HOT COFFEE!

will NOBODY think about the children?

jumpingjackhash · 11/01/2011 22:19

Oh crikey, and you're still fighting your corner? You asked if YABU, well... er... yup, for all the reasons cited above.

outnumbered2to1 · 11/01/2011 22:20

having read your original post and then your responses to other comments made on your original post i have come to the conclusion that your are not only unreasonable you are also an arse. Goodnight

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:23

I didn't order her, I just kind of warned her, but i said it all friendly, and I was upset because she was rude back to me. Usually I would just shrug it off but it upset me today. If I had just been stood in the pub not giving a shite and letting him run about I could understand her position, but I was stood with him, I wanted him to have a walk about because he was restless and had been strapped in his buggy. I am dismayed that people aren't more tolerant of young children. He wasn't being naughty, he was just kind walking, he wasn't running. I just said to the lady "ooh careful" all nice and she decided to be nasty - no need.

OP posts:
OnEdge · 11/01/2011 22:25

Night night Smile

OP posts:
jumpingjackhash · 11/01/2011 22:25

But that's exactly the point you're missing - it wasn't up to her to be careful, it was up to you to stop your ds getting in her way (as the adult carrying a hot drink in a pub, which - regardless of being welcoming of children - is an adult environment).

If you're posting to ask 'AIBU', then you need to accept that it's quite likely that YABU.

MadameDefarge · 11/01/2011 22:26

Shall we have a group Banging Our Heads Against a Wall Session, and then sing Kumbaya?

jumpingjackhash · 11/01/2011 22:27

I give up! Grin