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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

554 replies

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 19:32

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

OP posts:
fishtankneedscleaning · 12/01/2011 18:32

Gee I hate going into coffee shops when parents allow their toddlers to wander. Especially when the parent expects everyone to duck and dive to avoid tipping scalding hot coffee over their child, yet sneer at adults who have the "audacity" to comment that the child should be supervised.

thisisyesterday · 12/01/2011 18:32

if he was safe you didn't need to tell her to be careful did you?

so, he was either safe. in which case you had no reason to say anything

or he wasn't... in which case YOU should have been ensuring he was.

you said in your first post you were gonna get slaughtered., which implies (to me) that you know damn well you were being unreasonable

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:38

Yes I did think that I was unreasonable, and I am not a troll and nor did I intend to wind anyone up, but I have found it entertaining reading people's responses. It's amusing to watch how hostile and aggressive you all get, it is like stirring a stick around a wasps nest. Also a lot of idealism and crap is spouted, I bet in real life you all fuck up at times but will never be honest enough to admit it.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:41

I was ensuring his safety by alerting the lady that he was there so that she could look out. Thats all I expected.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 12/01/2011 18:45

So you were trolling. Look the definition up, there's a love.

ragged · 12/01/2011 18:49

Wasps' nest, bunch of hypocrites, qui, nous? Blush

I don't think letting him toddle about sounded unreasonable; it sounds like it was a generally quiet situation and he was the type of child who would have been a nightmare to hold onto whilst queuing & ordering.

Following her back to her table to belabour the disagreement was U. As is how you keep coming back to this thread. Let it go, eh?

pagwatch · 12/01/2011 18:55

i am always intrigued when posters say you do this, you are a bunch of vipery skanks...
who are those posters talking about?

If you means mumsnetters then that includes them. It is very weird

Or do they think that everyone else is sitting at a mahoosive computer, all in a humungus great group?

Lovecat · 12/01/2011 18:58

Is this still going on?

OP, YABVU and quite frankly a little bit scary. If some woman followed me back to my table in a pub I'd be calling security on them...

Your son is your responsibility and you should tell HIM to be careful, not some innocent old dear - oh, why am I bothering to type this, about 400 other MNers before me have done the same, and you still think you're in the right...

Bogeyface · 12/01/2011 19:05

I refer you to my earlier comment...

I would rather you piss off altogether!

YAAAWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

thisisyesterday · 12/01/2011 19:17

yeah of course we fuck up now and then, everyone does.... but the rest of us aren't coming on here and whining about how come other people don't want the responsibility of looking after our kids!

you've shown no sign thus far of taking any comments on board, which is partly what winds poeple up

and i still maintain that your reaction should have been aimed towards your son... not to the lady.
say it had been busier. would you have spent the entire time saiyng "oooh, careful" at every single person who walked past? or would you have just made sure your son was safe?

PeachesandStrawberry · 12/01/2011 19:39

OP

YABU because you should have kept your son with you when people are walking around with hot drinks and food

Bogey there is no need for that.

Takeresponsibility · 12/01/2011 19:48

Probably showing my age here but don't they make safety reins any more? Terribly common dahling but safety before snobbery.

toytown · 12/01/2011 19:51

YABU and rude IMO.

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 19:59

Thisisyesterday. Have you read back ? That is the amusing part, you have just come in to have a go, pack mentality.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 20:01

Where was I rude ?

OP posts:
Rhinestone · 12/01/2011 20:03

People don't expect small children to be getting under their feet in a pub.

YABU.

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 20:03

Peachesand strawberry. He was with me, just not physically attatched

OP posts:
toytown · 12/01/2011 20:04

I didn't need to read all the posts to make a decision based on what you have said. The way in which you spoke to that woman was rude IMO

thisisyesterday · 12/01/2011 20:06

yes, have read the entire thread thanks.

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 20:06

I agree that iWBU. I am not saying that I wasn't I am just responding to people's nasty insulting personal comments regarding what happened. If there is an inacuracy, I want to correct it.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 20:08

Well then you ought to have seen that I do take peoples comments on board, you would just rather think that I didn't

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 20:11

Toytown. This is the bit I am stuck on she was rude to me. I then challenged what she said to me. So why am I rude? I might have been wrong, but she was the rude one

OP posts:
PigValentine · 12/01/2011 20:12

Haven't read the whole thread, because I can't be bothered Grin

Most toddlers get agitated and grumpy if left in their buggies while you do something - order a coffee, stop at a cashpoint, etc. You just have to learn to tun out the grizzling. Think of it as white noise. He won't come to any harm from it.

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 20:14

No way !

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 20:16

I took him up with me so that he didn't annoy other people by getting upset.

OP posts:
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