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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have had this argument with a woman in Weatherspoons today?

554 replies

OnEdge · 11/01/2011 19:32

I tok my 18 week and 18 month old into Weatherspoons this morning. The lift was out of order so I ended up leaving the baby in the buggy, unstrapping my son and taking him a level (4 steps) to the bar to order my coffee. I took my son because had I left him strapped in the buggy he would have started arching his back and becoming agitated. The buggy was only about 12 feet away from where I was standing at the bar. My boy was toddling about, within a few feet of me while I waited to be served. A lady bought a coffee and was walking past me to her table with it, I saw my son walk round a large pillar and could possibley walk into her path. I warned the lady and said "oooh ! careful" and pointed my son. She walked past him and said loudly "He shouldn't be walking about !"

So I followed her to her seat and asked her why my son should not walk about.

Her "Its not me that says it, its this place."

Me "But YOU said it, what do you expect me to do with him when I place my order ?"

Her "Can't you strap him in a buggy?"

Me "No I will not strap my child down for your convenience>"

Her "I didn't want to step on him"

Me "All you had to do was look where you were going, I warned you he was there."

and then it carried on for another 2 minutes.

So, was I BU ????

I'm gonna get slaughtered, but I am intrigued as to whether or not you think I was out of order.

OP posts:
monkeyflippers · 12/01/2011 13:07

Everyone here seems to expect a toddler to behave impeccably and stand still holding mummys hand all nicely while they are out and about! Ok occasionally they do that but blimey what sort of kids do you have? I often let mine wander a little bit from me while I order my coffee and I keep an eye on them and I wouldn't let them run about trying to put their hands into coffee pots kicking old ladies int he shins but they are also unlikely to sit like an angel either. I did this a couple of days ago and 2yo kept getting down from his seat (to try out different ones) so I kept putting him back on it. It's what they do!

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/01/2011 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nobodyisasomebody · 12/01/2011 13:28

Yabu. Ds was either strapped in his buggy or held in an arm lock at that age because he didn't come when called either.

My elderly grandmother fell over a toddler that was "stretching his legs" in a cafe and broke her hip very badly. She is still coping with the aftermath of that several years on.

I hate it when people let their kids run about without consideration for others, especially those that may have mobility, hearing or sight difficulties.

JammyMummy · 12/01/2011 13:37

Ignore all the YABUs. Nothing wrong with speaking your mind and standing up to someone who's pissed you off in my book. Your mistake? Asking MNers for their opinions.

lemonmuffin · 12/01/2011 14:02

Good post cory, i hope the op reads it.

thisisyesterday · 12/01/2011 14:16

monkeyflippers have you actually read the entire thread?

no-one thinks a toddler will behave impeccably. we've all said that of course he won't... which is why the OP, as his parent needs to take responsibility for him, watch him and keep him safe.

not rant and rave at someone else because they don't want to do it for her.

if your toddler is too small to be able to keep himelf safe, or sit down nicely, or stay with you then in a dangerous environment (ie, one where he may end up with a plate of dinner on his head) it is the PARENT'S responsibility to ensure his safety by either holding him or strappuing him into a buggy

I don't think one person on the thread has suggested that the baby should be better behaved.

nappyaddict · 12/01/2011 14:23

I think YABU. In similar situations I have either carried DS, held on to his hand, held onto him using reins or attached him to the side of the buggy with reins. We recently went to a place with a salad buffet. I had no worries leaving DS in his highchair (it had a 5 point harness that he wouldn't be able to get out of - had it been a 3 point I would have taken him with me cos he can get out of those) whilst I went to get my salad. I was gone for a couple of minutes at most. Places that serve hot food and drinks should not have to worry about tripping over toddling children. Had she tripped over him and burnt him you wouldn't be very happy would you?

I was once eating a meal in F&B. A waitress was once walking through the restaurant with a tray of coffees. A boy of about 18 months walks straight into her path. Coffees go everywhere, child badly burnt. Cue ranting father shouting at the poor girl. Then a customer stands up and says to the man firstly instead of wasting time shouting at this poor girl get your child up A&E, secondly if your child hadn't been wandering about unattended he wouldn't have got burnt. He had a good point.

nobodyisasomebody · 12/01/2011 14:26

Yes Cory, very good post.

Lots of people confuse child friendly with child first, last and always over and above all other peoples' needs..

nappyaddict · 12/01/2011 14:30

Also adults (unless they have SN) tend to not wander around in pubs with no destination. They also tend to not walk straight into the path of somebody else, or if they do their reactions are quicker and would usually be able to move out of the way in the nick of time.

GwynAndBearIt · 12/01/2011 14:40

The toddler was out of arms reach then OP wasn't caring for him sufficiently in that situation i.e. the risk that someone might spill a hot drink on him, and he was too far to be hoiked out of the way in time.

OP shouted to the lady 'oooh careful' - wrong, - she should have shouted to her toddler 'DS come here, don't get in the way' - thus alerting the old dear to the child without accusing her of being careless.

And stomping after her to have another pop, - just ridiculous.

researchinmotion · 12/01/2011 14:56

OP has got to be a wind up.

If someone had followed me to have a rant in a PUB then they'd have got short shrift and would have probably in all honesty have been wearing my coffee.

This is the reason I ask to be sat away from children in a restaurant and go to pubs where children are not allowed. It's nothing to do with the DCs, it the precious parents. [frin]

PlentyOfParsnips · 12/01/2011 14:56

I've always been really sneery of Weatherspoons but inspired by this thread I went and looked at their website. That looks quite a nice menu - what are their prices and portions like? I might take the family at the weekend Smile

Jux · 12/01/2011 17:39

Good idea POP. In fact, why doesn't everyone on MN make it a family day for Weatherspoons day at the w/e. I shall borrow some very young children and a couple of the SN adults from the house next door, and take them along. If anyone says anything to me, I shall become very shirty and rude, and follow them to their tables being aggressive.

With any luck, Weatherspoons will ban all children for evermore and then die the death themselves.

VivaLeBeaver · 12/01/2011 17:46

I saw a similar situation the other week. On a shared cycle path/footpath, plenty of signs saying dogs should be on leads. Kids were cycling up ahead and a group were walking towards us with 3 dogs not on leads. One of teh dogs shot across the path, the woman shouted "be careful" at my dd and her friend. They somehow avoided the dog but another man who was overtaking DD ran into the dog.

Now I'm sure the woman shouted "be careful" in the heat of the moment at the kids in a panic and to warn them as she could see what was about to happen. I don't really blame her for the shouting, but the kids were in the right and she was in the wrong. If she'd been more careful by having the dog on a lead like it should have been there wouldn't have been a problem. Its not the kids' responsibility to avoid dogs in such a situation.

As I walked past the woman I politely said as I passed "they should be on a lead" and carried on walking. Bit like the lady said to you that your son shouldn't be walking about. I guess though she had the common sense to realise she was in the wrong as she didn't follow me up the path having an arguement about it.

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:13

It is a genuine post that has really wound people up.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:14

Now, would you like to hear about the lady fromAutoglass ?

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:16

I never said I was new, I just wasn't sure what pub stands for. I think it's precious first born

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:17

I meant pfb

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 12/01/2011 18:18

You sound like you have a massive attitude problem and need to stay in with your toddler until you can accept that it is your job to keep him safe, not other peoples!

It isnt the thread that winds people up, but your shitty attitude.

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:20

I didn't stomp after her to have another pop, I wanted to have a chance to defend myself after she told me my son shouldn't be walking about. She wasn't a cute old lady, she was a nasty dragon type one who didn't like kids .

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:21

He was safe, I was with him just not physically attatched

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:23

Where was I shitty ? Was it when I responded, would you rather I rolled over onto my back and do a little piss like a puppy ?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 12/01/2011 18:23

If there was a risk of hot coffee from someone who was quite reasonably walking to a table then he wasnt safe.

You are BVVVVU. end of

Bogeyface · 12/01/2011 18:24

No I would rather you piss off altogether!

Original poster
OnEdge · 12/01/2011 18:26

I understand the nature of AIBU and that people will let me know what they think, but it does not mean that I won't respond, I want to have this discussion.

OP posts: