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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

towonder why anyone is surprised that a woman in labour might scream?

120 replies

TheLogLady · 11/01/2011 10:39

i know, i know. it's been done, it's been argued, debated and discussed.

But why would anyone feel the need to criticise how much noise a woman makes in labour? she does what she needs to.

some women scream, some moo and some don't.
does it matter?

OP posts:
wukter · 11/01/2011 10:40

YANBU.

Serendippy · 11/01/2011 10:43

YANBU. If someone told me that they had screamed whilst having a tooth extracted/vasectomy/arm cut off with a rusty saw, I would not be surprised. But we still get the ones who did it quietly expecting a medal and complaining about the riff raff who dared to make a noise just because their fanjos were not like buckets and therefore could feel something

purplefeet · 11/01/2011 10:46

I got told off by a male doctor for screaming. I tried to tell him to f off but was too busy screaming. I still feel annoyed thinking about it now.

StewieGriffinsMom · 11/01/2011 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilythia · 11/01/2011 10:48

I screamed and mooed

kreecherlivesupstairs · 11/01/2011 10:59

I've never laboured, but I've seen it and it's quite often brutal.
I screamed having a smear recently.
OP, YADNBU

CountBapula · 11/01/2011 11:02

While I was pushing with no pain relief, the midwife said to me, "Stop screaming like that - you'll give yourself a sore throat". Hmm

Then again, just before the doctor came in with the ventouse, the same midwife covered me up with a blanket (I was starkers). When I told her I honestly didn't give a shit at this point who saw me naked, she said, "Oh, but it's for the doctor - he gets embarrassed by naked women". Confused

Blu · 11/01/2011 11:05

I thnk it's perfectly OK for people to use whatever release they find helpful - but fair enough to point out to terrified listeners that it's one way of dealing with it.

philmassive · 11/01/2011 11:05

I howled, mooed and a variety of others and some miserable old bag member of admin staff or some such came waltzing in from another room and told me that I should be quiet as they could hear me down the corridor. In my defence the midwife who was with me told her that it was helping me and I was progressing better the more noise I was making.

I think of this to this day and would like to go and throttle the hideous old witch who made me feel like I was somehow doing things wrong when all I was doing was the right thing for me at the time. I still think back and cringe at this episode as I felt ashamed and cross at the same time. It is the overriding memory of my son's birth and that is sad.

Original poster
TheLogLady · 11/01/2011 11:06

usually your throat is the least of your sore bits after pushing a baby out.

and i have just read the OBEM thread in 'Pregnancy' and might have to be very rude to someone.... What the fucking fucking hell!!!!???????

OP posts:
outnumbered2to1 · 11/01/2011 11:09

pmsl @ ilythia moo-ing....

my DS1 was born in Vienna so i had a great time shouting and swearing in broad Glaswegian because the nursing staff had no clue what i was talking about

ChinaCup · 11/01/2011 11:11

F'king hell CountBapula; where did you give birth? The Scientology wing?

stoppinchingthedummy · 11/01/2011 11:14

No to be honest i think making a noise when it hurts is ok but by screaming your wasting energy that should be being preserved for later when u will be pushing - I think these threads relate to one born every minute last night and that women was screaming ridiculous amounts probably for the cameras yes it hurts- done it twice- everyone has different experiences but to be screaming like she was is IMO unneccssary

peppapighastakenovermylife · 11/01/2011 11:15

I didn't scream but instead calmly punctuated every sentence with a 'fuck'. A lot. Grin

MrsPennySworth · 11/01/2011 11:24

But how do you know that that woman's labour didn't hurt 50 times more than your labour stoppinchingthedummy? None of us really know how other women feel/experience labour but we all know that they are all different. So maybe her screaming that much was justified!

The "first half" of her screaming really reminded me of the noises I was making and the way I was acting in labour (okay so the screaming just before she had the epidural was more than me but that's neither here nor there!).

In fact watching it made me want to cry - almost felt like I could feel that pain again !!!!!

boyscomingoutofmyears · 11/01/2011 11:25

I have had given birth 3 times, the first 2 I bloody screamed blue murder and the last I didn't. The only reason I didn't was because I was too knackered after not slepping for the preceeding 48 hours and only had enoug energy to patheticly whimper "gas and air please".

If I am being honest, the quiet birth was better because I was calm BUT I do not feel bad or embarrassed about screaming during the first 2 because it was what I needed to do at the time to get through it. OP YADNBU!!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 11/01/2011 11:26

different people have different experiences.
I didnt have anything left over even for muttering. only when the midwife told me to breathe and I got cross and told I couldnt fit any more air in!

AppleAndBlackberry · 11/01/2011 11:27

YANBU. No-one told me not to scream and I'm not sure I could have stopped even if they had. I'm not an exhibitionist at all it was just that painful.

ChickensAreFlyingUnderTheRadar · 11/01/2011 11:28

I didn't scream, because I wanted the giant concrete bollard out of my nethers and needed my strength and focus. I did 'Nnnnngggghhhhhhhhhhh!' though at the 'pop' moment. Screaming seemed to take energy away from the pushing bit. I didn't mind attempting a few howls during contractions though. Oh, and I had a smorgasboard of drugs.

JamieLeeCurtis · 11/01/2011 11:31

My first labour - I attempted Yogic calm and stoicism - did not help.

Second labour - lots of unearthly moo-ing, and latterly screaming. Really helped me push him out (VBAC).

LogLady - I have put forward my opinion on that thread

pommedeterre · 11/01/2011 11:31

Is this about one born every minute? The woman screaming on it last night was being silly imo because she was wasting her energy totally.

Original poster
TheLogLady · 11/01/2011 11:32

bollocks. you are talking shite.

OP posts:
rdmommy · 11/01/2011 11:34

pommedeterre- she made a show of herself, shouting and swearing, i'd be so ashamed, she was over the top even the midwives thought so.

Noise and screaming in the later stages is understandable but she was doing it from the beginning.

I didn't scream or shout during both of my back to back labours and i don't have a bucket fanny either, just a bit of respect for the medical staff , my dh and myself.

silly woman

Original poster
TheLogLady · 11/01/2011 11:36

you too are talking shite.

made a show of herself????? respect???????

OP posts:
Blu · 11/01/2011 11:37

I didn't think it was necessarily related to pain levels because she continued screaming after the epidural had taken effect! The mw had to remind her that she wasn't actually in pain. And she had said she was going to scream, so she did, and said she would do the same net time. No criticism of that, if it is what she does and it's her way of gettng through, that's fine.The mws were saying 'she's not going to have another, is she?' based on tha distress she seeed to be in - but she was indeed talking about 'next time'. Many women who have very difficult deliveries are very slow to think about next time.

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