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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

towonder why anyone is surprised that a woman in labour might scream?

120 replies

TheLogLady · 11/01/2011 10:39

i know, i know. it's been done, it's been argued, debated and discussed.

But why would anyone feel the need to criticise how much noise a woman makes in labour? she does what she needs to.

some women scream, some moo and some don't.
does it matter?

OP posts:

Original poster

TheLogLady · 11/01/2011 11:37

you should try it sometime, it's actually rather therapeutic to let go occasionally.

OP posts:

CountBapula · 11/01/2011 11:38

Yes, loglady, given the filing cabinet emerging from my fanjo in excruciating fashion, I didn't give a flying fuck about my throat.

LOL ChinaCup.

rasta · 11/01/2011 11:39

I screamed with DD1, it was a distraction for me to keep my mind off the pain. It also felt like a good "release" when the contractions came to be vocal!

With DD2 I didn't scream at all. Instead I had the whole anger thing. Lashed around, kicked and punched hard things. I cracked the car dashboard during the drive to the hospital after kicking it too much

I think DH preferred the screaming labour!

rdmommy · 11/01/2011 11:40

blu- she was having gas and air while edipuraled up to the hills!!

I didn't use any medication, i obviously have a high pain threshold but still don't see why she had to scream and swear to such an extent.

loglady- i'm just talking from my experience which isn't shite but thanks all the same

comewhinewithme · 11/01/2011 11:40

My Mum came with me when I had my babies.
I was a bit noisy but never a screamer until I had my last dd .

Back to back labour first midwife told me I couldn't have an epi as I would be quick this was at 3am I was still begging for an epi at 7am. My Mum sat in the corner and told me she was embarrased by me showing off and if I screamed again she would walk out.
I'm afraid she told me this as I was approaching a ctx and she got told to "Fuck the fuck off then" I have a gas and air hazy memory of her flouncing off with her handbag . I think she expected dp to run after her but he didn't and she soon slunk back in.

The MW's also kept telling me to be quiet and that I was scaring people. The woman nect door was also screaming just as loud as me.

The labour was awful and I needed to scream becaue it helped what didn't help was my Mum telling me I was useless and the midwifes telling me to shut up.

TheMeow · 11/01/2011 11:41

I only really started making noises other than moans when the pushing started and because of the gas and air I thought I was screaming the place down but apparently it was all in my head. DH said the only really scream I did was the final push. I didn't know it was possible to scream that loud in your head and it not transfer itself to your mouth.

I didn't have a sore throat afterwards but the next day my jaw ached like hell because of how hard I'd been biting the g&a mouthpiece.

Original poster

TheLogLady · 11/01/2011 11:47

loads of women use G&A at the same time as an epidural. very often an epidural doesn't work well. even when it does it doesn't take all the feeling away.

OP posts:

CountBapula · 11/01/2011 11:50

comewhinewithme at your mother and at your response

gingernutlover · 11/01/2011 11:52

I got told off for screaming by the midwife who didnt believe I was fully dilated

I also got told off for "not pushing hard enough" by the same midwife.

Turned out dd was in a very odd position and I had to have assisted birth, will never ever forget it and plan to never have a ntoher baby.

But honestly, I dont think i would scream if it wasnt hurting, why would you? Bit silly, unless you are by that point extremely scared thanks to the thoughtless midwives ??

MrsChemist · 11/01/2011 11:58

As far as OBEM goes, has it been considered that they edited it to make her sound louder?
Besides, in the interview after she said it made her feel better, so what's the problem? Whatever helps IMO.

BertieBasset · 11/01/2011 12:04

I don't know why women comment negatively on another woman's labour. It bloody hurts whichever way you do it!

If someone is a screamer, that might be their way of releasing emotion. Or maybe they have a smaller pelvis than a non screamer, or stronger contractions, or a baby not finding labour easy and not turning properly?

I had to ask DH if I yelled or not as I don't know. I didn't apparently. I can't remember as I was too busy throwing up and sobbing. I did do it quietly though so I'm sure that's okay

JamieLeeCurtis · 11/01/2011 12:12

I think I might have lost the respect of the medical staff and my DH by pooing myself .....

Oh no, hang on , that was just an involuntary event

stoppinchingthedummy · 11/01/2011 12:13

Mrspennysworth i dont thats why i said we all have different experiences

stoppinchingthedummy · 11/01/2011 12:14

oh and just to add with my ds when i was in labour i was shouting LOUD "ow ow ow ow ow" and the midwife had a right go at me that i was putting my energy into the wrong end of my body - i took it on board despite wanting to slap her and it worked

JingleHell · 11/01/2011 12:16

I screamed - a lot! no-one complained but I did feel a bit about it afterwards, hope there were no parents-to-be touring the wards at the time!

blondieno1 · 11/01/2011 12:18

I did feel a bit embarrassed for the screaming banshee poor woman but she did make me laugh a little bit, I remember her from a clinic I attended at the PAH. She was a bit of a 'woe is me type'

Nevereatyellowsnow · 11/01/2011 12:22

That poor woman looked terrified and was obviously in a lot of pain. I think its really nasty how some women feel the need to comment on how a woman conducts herself in labour. I was as bad as that, the mw told me to stop screaming so I told her to fuck off and carried on screaming. It hurts and its scary and if thats what you need to do you should just go with it. When its all finished you'll still be handed a gorgeous little baby whether you screamed or not.

TLL its so lovely to hear a mw say its ok to scream (congratulations btw)

camerondiazepam · 11/01/2011 12:24

So thrilled to hear other women moo'ed, I thought it was just me

domesticdiva · 11/01/2011 12:27

Isn't labour the only time in a womans life that you can just do exactly what you want?! If screaming helps do it, if being peaceful and calm then stick to it as well! I found biting the husband worked for me with DS2!!

wintersniffle · 11/01/2011 12:31

The whole thing did make me wonder how the consent for OBEM works, whether you sign a form beforehand saying they can film and show what they like or if you get some say afterwards. Some of the bits where the woman was writhing around in agony did not make pleasant viewing and I can't picture anyone being happy about being shown on TV in that kind of distress.

Although afterwards she did say that screaming stopped her feeling the pain and she seemed happy enough - if that's true then I'm sure she couldn't give a stuff what anyone else's opinion of the noise is.

MollysChambers · 11/01/2011 12:34

Some labours hurt more than others. FACT. I've had two bad and one good experience. Suspect there are plenty of people who have had only good experiences. Don't judge others please. People do what they need to do to get through it.

NorwegianMoon · 11/01/2011 12:37

those of you who told your mw to fuck off. what did the midwife say or do when you said that?

lexxity · 11/01/2011 12:40

domesticdiva at biting the husband.

Mine said after "my hand really hurts". It's a good job I was stuck in bed after an EMCS.

Checkmate · 11/01/2011 12:47

My labours have been very painful, (especially the 2 induced with synt on a drip) but I was given the great advice that completely relaxing every part of my body (including my face) really helped each contraction to be less painful, and for me that worked.

Watching that woman last night, her body was so tense that it made it look much more painful. Plus, she wasn't using the gas and air properly.

Main problem looked to me like the continual monitoring though. I hate those straps and refused to wear them and be tethered to the bed when I was induced; a saintly midwife spent those 2 whole labours holding a handheld monitor to my uterus to check on babies heartbeat. It is so much more painful lying on your back like that woman was, and rocking on a ball or walking up and down would have really helped her, I think.

CountBapula · 11/01/2011 13:02

Agree, Checkmate, I was induced and it fucking hurt. I only had G&A because I went from 4cm to fully dilated in 3hrs so it was too late to have an epidural. DS pooed in my waters so I had to be monitored and flat on my back. That's why I screamed a lot.

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