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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

think why do women scream and shout in labour

186 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 10/01/2011 22:00

is there any real need.

OP posts:
gaelicsheep · 10/01/2011 23:44

In my second labour I found rocking very helpful indeed. Back and forth, side to side. I also go into myself with pain, so much so that nobody - not even DH - realised just how much pain I was in first time around, until it all broke loose with a single blood curdling scream!

Jynxed · 10/01/2011 23:46

As someone who had everything going wrong in each of my 3 labours and who cried, screamed and yelled throughout, I find the OPs smugness bloody offensive. You are obviously a very lucky person with a nicely shaped pelvis, perfectly positioned babies, and may be even the direct help of the Almighty for all I know. It was just luck, so stop making a competition about it and appreciate that it doesn't go well for all, and have some compassion.

Catnao · 10/01/2011 23:47

I definitely screamed during child birth. I found the whole thing hideously traumatic to the point that it has taken 10 years to start ttc child number two - which I desperately want, but since ttc I have woken up in the night with nightmares of childbirth. And I'm not pregnant!

When my son was 4, I broke my shoulder falling down two flights of stairs - bits of shattered bone sticking out and etc - and I didn't scream then, or during the wait between accident and surgery (10 days). And that fucking hurt. I'd rather break my shoulder again than give birth naturally, tbh.

Rindercella · 10/01/2011 23:51

OP, smuggery has a very good habit of kicking you up the arse. Hope you don't have to go through labour again or else you may live to regret this thread Wink

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 10/01/2011 23:52

i was facebooking during labour Blush

i didnt scream though

DirtyMartini · 10/01/2011 23:55
mutznutz · 10/01/2011 23:56

Well pushing a baby's head and shoulders out of your fanjita has to smart a bit OP...unless you're sporting a real welly top Grin

onmyfeet · 11/01/2011 00:24

I was quiet during my labour, and so was my cousins (I was with her). However, I have screamed in pain with back spasms and when an ovarian cyst ruptured. I have often wondered if it was because I was not taken my surprise with the labour pains and breathed through them, as later I tried using my breathing to get through back pain and I did it.
But everyone has different ways.

gaelicsheep · 11/01/2011 00:31

I think that's right. The times I screamed in my labour were when things suddenly shifted up a gear all of a sudden. The first time around that was when I went 2 to 6 cm all of a sudden. The second time it was after I got to hospital and suddenly I was ready to push. The rest of the time I could manage in my own little world, very unpleasant though it was.

WhyHavePets · 11/01/2011 00:36

I screamed, shouted and swore with my older children. I honestly do not think I had any control over it, it was like an out of body experience. I was scared and had no control over anything that was happening to me and don't get me started on being laid on my back because "I couldn't possibly be that far on" and "you are to young to know what is going on, we know, listen to us" (yes the baby arrived within a two or three contractions each time Hmm Angry)

However, with my last birth I was at home, unassisted and without pain relief (except rescue remedy) and I didn't make a sound. i was calm, in control, comfortable and had absolutly no fear. Oh yes and I was up on all fours where I had wanted to be in previous labours.

Every person is different and every labour is different. If all my labours had been like my last I would probably have thought similarly to you but I have also experienced a different kind of birth so i know that, yes sometimes it is necessary and involuntary.

Nevereatyellowsnow · 11/01/2011 01:04

I was as bad as the woman on obem Blush. I had no control over it at all, I was already pushing when I got to hospital and I was fucking terrified and it hurt!

Catnao · 11/01/2011 01:10

I found it horrible - I'm glad only my mum was there to criticize! ( And she didn't, God bless her!)

Bearskinwoolies · 11/01/2011 03:01

I screamed like a banshee because my dd came out with her hand on her head and her elbow sticking out. I ripped internally and it hurt like hell.

Your birth experience is not everyones experience, and YABU to think everyone is the same.

DeeCeeDee · 11/01/2011 03:43

fancy asking such a question lol. since most of us dont suffer from megafanny syndrome of course we're going to scream blue murder. And why da hell do you care anyway? I cant quite remember that religion where the women are required to give birth in silence - is it scientology? Control freak madness from people who have nothing better to think about or do in life, honestly..

Emo76 · 11/01/2011 09:24

Clearly the OP is a wind up

usernamechanged345 · 11/01/2011 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QODneystones · 11/01/2011 09:40

lets hope you don't ever get kidney stones..... no baby at the end of that one either

SeaTrek · 11/01/2011 09:41

I presume you are referring to the 'one born every minute' episode last night.

The woman in question explained why at the end - because she felt it helped her cope.

I didn't feel it would have helped me, so I didn't.

What more do you need to know?!

twirlymum · 11/01/2011 09:41

I've been watching for five minutes on iplayer. The father of Janet's baby clearly has ASD.
If this was known by the programme makers, it should have been mentioned. For people who have no experience of this, he will come across as arrogant, selfish and unemotional.

Longstocking2 · 11/01/2011 09:43

It was mentioned.

GooseFatRoasties · 11/01/2011 09:44

Lucky you if it didn't hurt. Fuck off judging others for whom it does.

Notalone · 11/01/2011 09:45

OP - you have made yourself look like a bit of a twat Hmm. Stop being so sanctimonious and judgy - we can't all be as perfect as you so obviously think you are

twirlymum · 11/01/2011 09:46

Must have missed that, or I've not got to that bit.

MrsTittleMouse · 11/01/2011 09:47

I am very flexible in my hips and can nearly get my foot over my head, despite doing no exercise for years. And I can have multiple orgasms. Can you? If not, then you're obviously deficient as a woman. Oh, no, hang on, all our bodies are different, aren't they? Hmm

I was silent too, by the way - had trouble getting everyone to realise that I was in active labour - but I can completely understand why women scream. We all have different labours and different coping mechanisms.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 11/01/2011 09:47

I was quiet most of the time during all three of my labours, but not because I am stoical in any way, but just because I found that the pain drove me into my head. It definitely wasn't a conscious decision and I don't think I was being brave in any way.

I was quite vocal during second stage with ds1 (which lasted 1.5 hours) and got told by the senior midwife, "If we were putting half the effort into pushing that we are putting into making that noise, we could push this baby out right now!!" That helped (not!).

AuntiePickleBottom - it seems ridiculous to me that you seem a) to be expecting everyone to be able to labour the same way as you did, and b) want to assume that most women make lots of noise in labour, based solely on the evidence of a handful of filmed births.

Everyone is different, and everyone copes differently with labour - and your OP is a deliberate attempt to wind up and offend people. If you had asked, "Does it help the pain of labour to make lots of noise?", I suspect you would not have been called a troll.