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AIBU?

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Original poster

..to NOT want my student son to have a part time job?

511 replies

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 21:01

My husband supports me and my DS from a previous marriage. DS is in his second year of a Chemical Engineering Degree and lives away from home in a shared student flat. We own our own business, and are in a position to be able to support DS through his five year course. I met OH when DS was seven and to my utter disappointment and heartache, they have never had a particularly close relationship (to the point of causing many arguments in our marriage. I never thought it would be 'The Waltons', for one thing not enough kids...but I didn't expect them to be at such opposite ends of the spectrum. OH is a worker, DS is an academic.) However, OH has no problem supporting DS through Uni; we pay his rent and food bills. Up until last month DS had a part time job in Pizza Hut which paid his social life, extras etc. He has now given up this job, citing too much study, and promises to try to get a placement during the summer (not guaranteed.) Chem Eng is a HARD degree, and I do not want DS studies to suffer due to having to work part time. OH disagrees and says there is nothing stopping him getting another job in Asda etc. DS is not asking for more money from us - I don't know how he will cope but I guess he will buy cigs instead of food. This is causing real strain and DS and OH are now not speaking until DS gets another job.

Piggy in the middle asking for some advice.

Thanks

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:19
Smile
readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:19

TheFallenMadonna - too true.

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:20

wif the big boobies

hehehe

coundn't resist

classydiva · 09/01/2011 23:20

scotsgirl

A maths degree got at the right university is a guarantee of a job! My son has not even finished his degree and already he has been offered a job with the worlds second largest bank.

He has never worked during his studies choosing to kip all day instead! And why not when he goes to work he will work 12 hour days in an investment bank.

He has supported himself during his studies with student loans and summer internships paying 900 a week.

You wouldnt catch him working in a restauarant let alone Asda.

With the right degree there is a guarantee of a job. All Maths students at Warwick Uni are guaranteed a job on leaving paying in excess of £40k a year.

Facts my dear I have them.

expatinscotland · 09/01/2011 23:21

I'm a troll and a fruitcake of hate!

So stuff you lot!

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:21

The OP should not go around telling people to eff off for no good reason.

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:22

cd...what an utter snob you sound

yuk

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:23

ah, expat

you are the exalted "fruitcake of hate"

how could we forget ? Grin

BeerTricksPotter · 09/01/2011 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:24

classy - do not belittle people who work in restaurants to fund their university. Not all people can afford not to work.

expatinscotland · 09/01/2011 23:25

Card-carrying member of the 'Message deleted by Mumsnet' and 'I've Had a MN Stalker' club, too!

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:25

AnyFucker - are you me?

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:26

Who is going to sell me my wellies if classy's ds isn't there?

expatinscotland · 09/01/2011 23:27

Snobiness isn't really classy.

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:27

RWW...perhaps

are you rather too skinny with a flat bum and a penchant for rose wine ?

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:28

all my bezzie mates work in asda

they give me stuff without ringing it up on the till Wink

my second pair of wellies were gratis

classydiva · 09/01/2011 23:30

My son survived on student loans and nothing else, I havent been able to help him at all.

It is possible to survive without working at university my son goes to comedian concerts, he eats out, yet he survives on only a student loan.

It can be done, if some are struggling it is because they live beyond their means.

If some have to work it is because they do not manage money very well.

My son still pays 65 for a shirt for god sake all on a student loan.

Im not a snob, Im a proud Mum.

Students get 191 a week. Accomodation is up to 80 a week. Its about managing your money and your overdraft.

scotsgirl23 · 09/01/2011 23:30

Ok, Firstly, I am not your "dear." Do not patronise me.

Secondly, I very much doubt that all maths graduates from Warwick are guaranteed 40k, given that most graduate roles require a 2:1, and certainly those which pay £40k however I am of course prepared to be proven wrong on that. However, the OP is in Scotland where I suspect I am a hell of a lot more familiar with the graduate job market than you are, and students in every field, from every university, are STRUGGLING to get jobs. I also know many maths grads who, whilst employed, are not working at graduate level as they have been unable to secure places.

And, the OP is not talking about a Maths Degree!

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:30

AnyFucker - no I am rather too fat with a very round bum. I like to call it pink wine, but yes I do partake in a glass or two.

Can you hook me up in Asda? I need a kids size 8 for the dd.

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:32

classydiva : You wouldnt catch him working in a restauarant let alone Asda.

you are not a snob ?

stop pulling my plonker Grin

hatwoman · 09/01/2011 23:33

cd - if your son has the same ridiculous sense of entitlement as you, just because he did an undergraduate degree in maths at warwick, then, I can "guarantee" he won't last long in the city.

there's an awful lot of people there with PhDs from unis all over the world rated a lot higher than warwick. and the ones that last don;t take anything for granted.

classydiva · 09/01/2011 23:33

scots

My sons will be finishing on a first. Others won't but if you take the right degree and not a micky mouse one you can and will get a job.

Warwick guarantee all their students finishing their Maths degree will get employment. See their website for proof if you wish.

Uni graduates earn far more than non uni persons its a fact.

Whilst the OP might live in Scotland where does the kid study? Where will they be working when they finish. London pays the best.

My point is that not all students have to work it is possible to survive without working whilst at uni.

It is also possible to survive without parental support my son has had none. He has a mobile phone contract and a gym membership.

It is possible to do it without working.

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:33

Classy - different living costs in different areas. Just because you ds can do it doesn't mean everyone can. Also I worked and came out debt free.

On an aside, how do you know your ds isn't doing something illegal to obtain his £65 shirts?

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:34

RWW... sounds we are opposites physically but with a mental connection (and a liking for pink wine Grin)

TheFallenMadonna · 09/01/2011 23:36

Of course they don't guarantee it. Guarantee?

I hope your DS does get the well paid job of course, not least because rather than managing his money, what he has actually been doing is running up a large amount of debt.