Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to NOT want my student son to have a part time job?

511 replies

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 21:01

My husband supports me and my DS from a previous marriage. DS is in his second year of a Chemical Engineering Degree and lives away from home in a shared student flat. We own our own business, and are in a position to be able to support DS through his five year course. I met OH when DS was seven and to my utter disappointment and heartache, they have never had a particularly close relationship (to the point of causing many arguments in our marriage. I never thought it would be 'The Waltons', for one thing not enough kids...but I didn't expect them to be at such opposite ends of the spectrum. OH is a worker, DS is an academic.) However, OH has no problem supporting DS through Uni; we pay his rent and food bills. Up until last month DS had a part time job in Pizza Hut which paid his social life, extras etc. He has now given up this job, citing too much study, and promises to try to get a placement during the summer (not guaranteed.) Chem Eng is a HARD degree, and I do not want DS studies to suffer due to having to work part time. OH disagrees and says there is nothing stopping him getting another job in Asda etc. DS is not asking for more money from us - I don't know how he will cope but I guess he will buy cigs instead of food. This is causing real strain and DS and OH are now not speaking until DS gets another job.

Piggy in the middle asking for some advice.

Thanks

OP posts:
readywithwellies · 10/01/2011 19:59

My life IS that dull. Really.

lochnessmumster · 10/01/2011 20:04

Well i think we can all be reassured that no matter how dull our wee lives are, they are no where near as dull as the headcase who would make up such a boring bloody post.
These trolls just don't try!

AnyFucker · 10/01/2011 20:06

very true

karen2205 · 10/01/2011 20:54

Your son is an adult - it's up to him whether to work whilst studying or whether to spend less money so he doesn't need to work. He could look into university hardship funds if he is struggling, but it sounds like you're able to support him (and he's willing to accept your support) to the extent that he's ok.

I can quite see why he wouldn't want to ask for more help from his step-father, given the ongoing rocky relationship. And AFAICS the best thing you can do is stay out of it and let your son and husband sort out their conflict themselves. They're both now adults.

AnyFucker · 10/01/2011 20:56

< sigh >

monkeyflippers · 10/01/2011 21:25

What was she saying about peedos? You'd have to be mentally ill to go to that much trouble inventing a whole family and story. It wasn't even something juicy!

readywithwellies · 10/01/2011 21:29

That we - the posters - were peedos. She also said she had a large penis (not so politely) and was bald. Rather odd but very entertaining.

rockinhippy · 10/01/2011 21:42

IMO, from my own experience I think you do him no favours, a good work ethic & the ability to be flexible, put your head down, juggle & work your socks off whatever life throws at you, can be just as, if not far more valuable than any degree.

I was in your Sons situation, in that no grant as my Parents earned to much, I also had to get up at 5 am to travel to another City as my Parents didn't believe paying for digs would help in the long run, so though my own degree wasn't probably as full on as your Sons as it was something I had an aptitude for, I had a MUCH longer day, AND still managed to work to earn my own spending money & travel expenses...it taught me a very valuable lesson, one thats stood me well & got me ahead at work

rockinhippy · 10/01/2011 21:44

oh b@ll@x, why didn't I just trust my instinct & ignore this thread rolls eyes

MrsFlittersnoop · 10/01/2011 21:52

Well - am majorly confuddled here. Most of the OPs posts have been deleted so it's v. hard to work out WTF has been going on! Shock

Had the OP been indulging in too much Vino Collapso perchance? It was the wee small hours etc...

Her earlier posts seemed perfectly lucid and I actually felt v. cross at some of the responses she was getting.

AnyFucker · 10/01/2011 21:58

MrsF...maybe the responses she was getting turned her into a bald, abusive paedophile with a large cock then Hmm

Spenguin · 10/01/2011 21:59

At times I thought maybe her hormonal teenage son had captured the keyboard whilst she was making a cup of tea or something. Positively scarring!

readywithwellies · 10/01/2011 22:04

Oooh Spenguin, maybe the millionaire husband saw her on MN and demanded to take over.

Spenguin · 10/01/2011 22:08

Mergers and Acquisitions - must be hard building an EMPIRE!!!

AnyFucker · 10/01/2011 22:16

this truly is the thread that continues to give does it not ? Smile

Spenguin · 10/01/2011 22:26

Ha! I'm torn between posting and enjoying the banter, seeing if anyone else has posted legitimate advice and writing 'Oh FFS, this thing is still going?!'

Just can't help myself.

readywithwellies · 10/01/2011 22:28

Yeah I like the legitimate posters too.

Doramustdie · 10/01/2011 22:34

Well when I was at uni, in the 1990s, student loans were rubbish, slightly more in London, about £2.50. And I was in the most expensive accommodation in London. Anyway I digress. The only way to survive was to prostitute myself. So I did. Turned tricks in every student pub within a 5 mile radius. Didn't manage to finance my degree, because my clients were mostly very inexperienced students who could run faster than me, and I was rubbish at collecting cash up front.

hatwoman · 10/01/2011 22:37

she said you were peedos? Shock - was that just af and rww and expat or everyone? I reckon is was the wellies that did it. how completely bizarre.

Doramustdie · 10/01/2011 22:39

Hello?! Legit post above...whatever!

AnyFucker · 10/01/2011 22:40

hatwoman, I think he/she said first we were peedos, then tha he/she was

it all go very silly

but he/she deffo said he/she had a massive cock Grin

AnyFucker · 10/01/2011 22:41

dora...are you serious ?

hatwoman · 10/01/2011 22:44

note to self: claims to have large genitalia get deleted.

AnyFucker · 10/01/2011 22:46

no...its the "fuck off you bunch of cunts" type of posts that get you deleted

just for the record

hatwoman · 10/01/2011 22:49

didn't mince her words then?