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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to NOT want my student son to have a part time job?

511 replies

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 21:01

My husband supports me and my DS from a previous marriage. DS is in his second year of a Chemical Engineering Degree and lives away from home in a shared student flat. We own our own business, and are in a position to be able to support DS through his five year course. I met OH when DS was seven and to my utter disappointment and heartache, they have never had a particularly close relationship (to the point of causing many arguments in our marriage. I never thought it would be 'The Waltons', for one thing not enough kids...but I didn't expect them to be at such opposite ends of the spectrum. OH is a worker, DS is an academic.) However, OH has no problem supporting DS through Uni; we pay his rent and food bills. Up until last month DS had a part time job in Pizza Hut which paid his social life, extras etc. He has now given up this job, citing too much study, and promises to try to get a placement during the summer (not guaranteed.) Chem Eng is a HARD degree, and I do not want DS studies to suffer due to having to work part time. OH disagrees and says there is nothing stopping him getting another job in Asda etc. DS is not asking for more money from us - I don't know how he will cope but I guess he will buy cigs instead of food. This is causing real strain and DS and OH are now not speaking until DS gets another job.

Piggy in the middle asking for some advice.

Thanks

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 22:52

my second pair of wellies are from Asda Grin

NoWayNoHow · 09/01/2011 22:52

I've got to agree with most of the posters - i think a part time job teaches responsibility, time-management and independence. I worked all the way through Uni to fund my social life, and ironically much of my social life came THROUGH my job - met fantastic people, some of whom are still friends 15 years on.

It's important too to put it in perspective - your DH isn't asking your son to get a job as an investment banker whilst studying Chem Eng, he's just suggesting a waiting job or similar. This is really not so stressful that it should harm his studies...

scotsgirl23 · 09/01/2011 22:53

Princess, plenty of people have posted perfectly pleasant replies. Stop behaving like a toddler just because we don't all agree with you!

splasheeny · 09/01/2011 22:53

Haven't read all the posts but just wanted to say that it is not possible to work part time through a lot of university courses. Or at the very least is very difficult.

I would suggest your son take his student loan out. A proportion is universally available.

That way he can still study and take responsibility. Maybe that would appease your OH?

expatinscotland · 09/01/2011 22:53

Second pair! Tut, tut. False economy, you two! Should have gone for the Joules first time round.

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 22:54

Expat - I have fat legs they probably won't fit! Grin

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 22:56

expat, my second pair are for my second home, dontcha know Wink

my husband is a zillionaire, he supports me (and my wellies)

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 23:00

Scotsgirl, thank you for your comments. I am aware a lot of people have posted replies, and I have taken their advice. Perhaps if you read the thread in total before posting, you would realise my (ahem) 'toddler' posts are aimed at the trolls. I did not come to this forum expecting aquiesience - I came hoping for good advice from other 'Mums', which, I have received.

OP posts:
classydiva · 09/01/2011 23:02

I made my son give up his job in Asda! He was nearing the end of his first year at College. He had no time to study was constantly tired and he loathed the job but stuck it out for five months.

He is now studying non stop when at home, he could not have done that if he had stayed at Asda.

I agree that whlist chlidren are taking their A Levels they need to concentrate on those, my son needs all A*'s he wont get his required Uni if he does not get them.

Working takes up too much time.

He doesn't need the money either.

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:03

Princess - did I give you advice or am I a troll? You haven't really explained very well. Confused

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:05

And why are any posters trolls? I don't see why they are trolls?

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:07

I am a troll Grin

lovin' it

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:08

Do trolls wear wellies?

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:08

If so, I am the biggest troll Grin

Spenguin · 09/01/2011 23:09

This needs to be televised

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:09

only Asda wellies

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:12

Ah, I see AnyFucker. Just me and you then.

I am watching out for Billy then, feeling a bit peckish now.

classydiva · 09/01/2011 23:12

The jobs are not stressful it is the time they take out of the study period.

No child taking A levels should have to work rather than study.

It is real hard to get into Universities a good one, the better the Uni the better the job.

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:14

RWW...have an asda chocolate teacake

that should hit the spot

TheFallenMadonna · 09/01/2011 23:14

Look, as far as I am aware, none of the posters on here are trolls. Certainly not the ones who have got your goat. They are expressing their opinions in a robust fashion. That is not the same as trolling.

It is the MN way, especially in this topic.

On one of the first threads I contributed to, I was accused of wanting new mothers to be imprisoned in hospital against their will. I wasn't a troll (and I don't advocate the imprisonment of mothers), and neither was the poster who said I did. I had merely blundered unwittingly onto a FF/BF thread, without realising that they can get somewhat heated. So can AIBU. Now you know Smile

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:15

Quite fancy a pack of rolos

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:16

Princess, thank you for your feedback, it is appreciated, munch, munch.

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:16

TFM...

I am

I am a troll

I can prove it

I wear wellies from Asda and I think the Op is up herself

does that verify it ?

scotsgirl23 · 09/01/2011 23:17

I'm afraid most of the people you are calling trolls are extremely regular posters who are anything but.

And, FYI, I have read the whole thread. Including you repeatedly telling people you disagree with to f* off.

His previous job, complete with lengthy commute, was probably not ideal, but not working at all is only necessary with a few specific courses and institutions, and as far as I can see nothing you have said, in between swearing at people, indicates his is one of those. I am a student, as I said above, but I despair at how unrealistic, impractical and downright naive the majority of students I study with are.

Your husband could well be doing him a favour - circumstances have changed a lot, and a degree on its own is no longer the guarantee of good employment that it once was. I have friends with 1st class degrees and postgraduates, in similar areas to your son, who have been unable to get jobs. Those who did no (non uni) work are in most cases unemployed, as even non graduate posts are incredibly competitive.

TheFallenMadonna · 09/01/2011 23:18

My apologies. I missed the wellies from Asda information. Clearly a troll.

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