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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to NOT want my student son to have a part time job?

511 replies

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 21:01

My husband supports me and my DS from a previous marriage. DS is in his second year of a Chemical Engineering Degree and lives away from home in a shared student flat. We own our own business, and are in a position to be able to support DS through his five year course. I met OH when DS was seven and to my utter disappointment and heartache, they have never had a particularly close relationship (to the point of causing many arguments in our marriage. I never thought it would be 'The Waltons', for one thing not enough kids...but I didn't expect them to be at such opposite ends of the spectrum. OH is a worker, DS is an academic.) However, OH has no problem supporting DS through Uni; we pay his rent and food bills. Up until last month DS had a part time job in Pizza Hut which paid his social life, extras etc. He has now given up this job, citing too much study, and promises to try to get a placement during the summer (not guaranteed.) Chem Eng is a HARD degree, and I do not want DS studies to suffer due to having to work part time. OH disagrees and says there is nothing stopping him getting another job in Asda etc. DS is not asking for more money from us - I don't know how he will cope but I guess he will buy cigs instead of food. This is causing real strain and DS and OH are now not speaking until DS gets another job.

Piggy in the middle asking for some advice.

Thanks

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:37

classydiva ...do you believe everything that the universities paste on their website ?

more fool you dear

hatwoman · 09/01/2011 23:38

couldn't resist - I did look at Warwick - at their graduate destinations data: "(maths) graduates still seeking employment...9 per cent". probably pretty good but not a guarantee.

Spenguin · 09/01/2011 23:38

In fairness, ClassyDiva said that her son wouldn't be caught working in a restaurant...she never said 'I would never let him work in a restaurant'

However, I'm new to MN so am probably hugely naive in getting involved. I don't want my bum flamed!

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 23:39

repeatedly? I dont thing so.

Here is a recent Skype message with DS

will be at uni most of the day tomorrow so wont be on here, love you loads xxx
[11:32:40 PM] Lesley: dan, i love you too. More than you will ever know. If you need anything let me know.
[11:33:06 PM] Dan : you give me enough as it is, your an awesome mum, and dad...anyway im off speak tomorrow xxx
[11:33:34 PM] Lesley :and u are an awesome son. love you booboo xxx

I dont know what I said or did to alienate you lot. You told upset me - I told you to fuck off. Normal. So enough with the flaming torches. What you lot posted to me was 10 times worse than my posts. But hey, who gives.

I wont be back.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/01/2011 23:40

Probably a good idea not to use any forenames, either.

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 23:41

Sorry about the spelling mistakes...

OP posts:
giggly · 09/01/2011 23:41

would love to know the final amount of cd sons student loan, bet it is huge.

Spenguin · 09/01/2011 23:41

The EMPIRE strikes back!

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 23:43

There IS no loan

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/01/2011 23:44

I'll sleep better at night knowing people who continue to fail to read 'Talk Guidlines' and abiding by them get their messages deleted Wink.

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:44

Princess, I hope you sort it out with your ds and more so, with your dh.

Another expletive Sad

TheFallenMadonna · 09/01/2011 23:45

Blimey. I think expat was saying that for your own benefit, as you have posted your name and that of your DS, which in general we tend not to do.

If I were you I'd hide this thread I think. Do carry on posting in less contentious topics though. Get your MN bearings Smile

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:45

Classy's loan not yours Princess

scotsgirl23 · 09/01/2011 23:46

Students funded by SAAS (the Scottish body) don't get £191 a week. Maximum student funding is £510 ish per month from September - May, with a double payment

I believe son will be studying in Scotland as, last time I checked, student fees are only paid by SAAS for student studying in Scotland. May have changed but doubtful.

Oh, and, please read this link

www2.warwick.ac.uk/services/careers/hub/dlhe/0809/ug_mathematics_08_09.pdf

Data, provided by Warwick, regarding the destinations of their mathematics institute graduates. That doesn't look like full employment to me..... And I doubt the customer services or retail jobs pay £40k.

I have no doubt that your son has done well and has a good job lined up, but the point is that prospects for many graduates are going downhill at the moment and that in many many industries you need to bring something other than a good degree to the table. You've said yourself that your son has done internships.

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:46

Princess - used the advanced search, see for yourself if you think people are trolls, they are not. You have just spoken in a way that has got people's backs up

scotsgirl23 · 09/01/2011 23:47

Edit - that should say "with a double payment in September"

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:49

nor the petnames Smile

PR, it seems you are new

ok

the first rule of being new on a well-established forum is don't tell people to "fuck off" when they don't agree with you

the second...make sure your OP is clear, and don't drip-feed, attention spans are short on here because of the fast-moving nature of the threads

the rest ? well, be prepared that people won't be immediately impressed by your "credentials"

there are all walks of life on here...and none of them are going to take kindly to you posting about your "superior" social standing (believe it or not, you are not at the top of the pile here)

now, I didn't need to reply to you....now, nor before and if you read bac I apologised to you and made allowances for the fac that your OP was not clear

but still you spat the dummy out

if this isn't the place for you, so be it, but that is your call, nobody else has said that

TheFallenMadonna · 09/01/2011 23:52

Were the credentials in the deleted post? I've missed stuff, haven't I?

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:54

maybe you have, TFM

I can't be arsed to check back which posts were deleted, tbh

but Op made sure to tell us her OH is a millionaire < shrugs >

readywithwellies · 09/01/2011 23:55

OP is ignoring me for some reason. Any ideas why?

PrincessRollo · 09/01/2011 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

AnyFucker · 09/01/2011 23:56
Grin
expatinscotland · 09/01/2011 23:57

She said she's leaving, ready.

Or maybe it's those cheap ASDA wellies of yours.

TheFallenMadonna · 09/01/2011 23:57

Ha!

Well, I was sympathetic to the OP earlier, and I still am, regarding the money anyway.

Slightly dimmed by the Skype exchange, I have to say, but still broadly sympathetic.