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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that those who moan about the cost of childcare

144 replies

3x3 · 09/01/2011 01:12

should stay at home and mind their kids themsleves?

Now i'm not talking about those who have to work to pay their mortgages etc. to survive.But those who say 'oh i don't know why i work so hard and pay so much to the creche,i only come home with ?60 a month after paying the creche'

Eh,?60 won't pay your mortgage?? So therefore you dont NEED to work so mind your own children and save ?1600 a month. Simples!!

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:43

custardo has more than once answered your final question:

Because if one minds them oneself one risks becoming unemployable or certifiably insane.

Not to mention some of the perceived benefits to the children themselves.

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:44

Custardo i have answered your posts??

OP posts:
PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 02:45

for the sake of getting out the house

you should REAR them are they animals?

If you're that against someone else having a big impact on your child, I assume you'll be/are home schooling?

PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 02:46

sorry I didn't say why I was putting things in quotes. It's because I didn't like them Grin

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:46

as custardo has said TWICE, it is more than just 'getting out of the house'.

Tortington · 09/01/2011 02:46

3x3 you have not.

i have reposted my points and you have failed to address them
i would like to ensure my knowledge remains current in my field

i would like to retain my position within the organisation, knowing that doing so will serve me well in the long term

i would like to still have access to excellent pension cntributions

i would like to access training programmes

i would like to cnverse with someone on an adult level that doesn't involve words like 'cracked nipple' ' green poo' and competitive parenting

I like my collegues and enjoy the social side of work

you have also failed to acknowledge my suggestion that although you can love your children more than life itself. You can detest being a SAHP.

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:48

ha ha you all do make me laugh. Just because you don't agree with me you all feel the need to pick at what i have said.

I have no problem with my children going to school,socialising etc. what is your point there??Getting personal now?

Lets just agree to disagree here.I have my opinion you have yours.If we were all the same the world would be boring.

Night!

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:51

erm, ok Hmm

you do know we are picking at what you say because it is what you say that we disagree with? what else would you have us respond to? your taste in music? Confused

PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 02:51

My point is, the time they spend is school is jsut as formative, arguably more so, than their infant years. If you don't have a problem with teachers, then why childminders (where you can have more of a say in how things are done).

I assume this was a post designed to purposefully inflame

hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:53

3x3 I think you should be more reflective. There are numerous reasons why people's set ups are as they are. Finances often play a big part - and not often in the most obvious ways (there are unseen barriers to many life chances). Relationships with family members are significant - between husband/dp and wife/dp and between parent and child. Health is another factor - physical and mental and can influence childcare choices.

Can you see how short sighted and indeed narrow minded your OP was? You cannot know the individual reasons why a person has chosen childcare outside of the home nor the reason that the £60 has become a figure to grumble about. It is not for you to suggest how one brings up one's child, whether that person has complained publicly to you about the cost of those choices or not.

Tortington · 09/01/2011 02:55

leaving without comment on my post? which i have re-posted a further 2 times to get you to acknowledge.

hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:56

Is 3x3 a childcarer?

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:58

Custardo here is my reply-Detest being a sahp? So you have kids then run back to work because you cant stand to spend time with them,because finding out about the office gossip is more important and who's going out for drinks on friday night is more important,and you cant have a brain or fullfill your ambitions god for bid if you stay at home??of course!!
Seems your anger at my post has hit a nerve of guilt eh?

No this post was not to inflame as you call it. I thought aibur was for this type of thing.Doh silly sahp me,i must have lost my brain cells REARING my kids over the years??
Im such a bad parent for actually WANTING to see my kids grow up.

Night to you all!

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:58

In the immortal words of the OP herself

"simples"

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 03:00

yes i was just about to ask you if you were a devoted SAHP but you have just answered that.

maighdlin · 09/01/2011 03:09

i am going to agree with OP. i also agree with the other reasons to work when you have children. but i do agree with the situation given by OP when people moan about not being able to stay at home and only getting £60pm at the end of it. why not stay at home? if you are getting no help from tax credits then you are earning a good wage and if only 60 is left over and you want to stay at home then stay at home. your 60 is not going to make a massive difference and if your sensible can be easily saved from your household budget.

however i only agree with this in the situation where a parent believes they have to work when they want to be a sahm but really aren't getting much financial benefit.

PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 03:58

Surely a better reason to work is because of moral reasons rather than teaching your children that money is more important than famliy. Which seems to be the flipside of the argument that you should only return to work if it is financially rewarding.

As an aside the PM doesn't need to work for financial reasons.

onceamai · 09/01/2011 07:50

Does this mean 60 after all childcare costs have been paid of 60 after all costs including some bills have been paid?

If a mother is a young professional it is more than conceivable that she may only have 60 left after paying childcare for two children; she may have taken a decision that for a year or two, until one starts school, she will roll with the situation for the sake of continuity in her career, difficulty getting back on the ladder and other work related benefits such as pension, training and experience. She is IMO also entitled to say "all that and 60 quid left at the end of the month".

FWW I chose to be a SAHM giving up the p/t job that was designed for me and which left me with 700 after childcare costs (in 1995). After 8 years at home and 7 years back at work, I still earn less than in 1995. I earn a good salary and that isn't a complaint but I had to start at the bottom in a different field and locally to fit in with family.

I/we made a choice.

stoppinchingthedummy · 09/01/2011 08:41

Childcarers are paid pittance- in a nursery setting - childminders make their own fees and nannies are well paid in certain parts of the country - well world too . I am a nursery nurse - have been for 10 years! I began on just £45 a week for a 37 hour week and now i work 30 hours and earn pennies over £6 an hour - i am in charge of a room - i take great pride in my job and love the children i work with , i love being a part of their daily life and education and i love the nursery i work in for being the best for miles around here!!

Facts are there is very little money in childcare unless you can be a nanny for a rich family or set up your own nursery and our children are the most precious thing in the world to us so next time you take your child to nursery and complain about the fees and expect that for what you pay your children shouldnt have come home with a dirty face / wrong shoes remember the staff who do their absolute best (in most occasions) are paid crap and only human and infact all that money you pay probably goes to the person who actually has no idea who you or your children are!

coccyx · 09/01/2011 08:43

As someone involved in provision of childcare i tend to agree with the Op.
The parents of the full time children always over compensate and usually want to know minute by minute breakdown of childs day.. even down to colour of poo.
Most chose to go back to work for selfish career minded reasons.
Don't have the children then

pommedeterre · 09/01/2011 08:44

I don't think childcare is very expensive. Not once have a I moaned about it. DD loves nursery and I love it too.

3 x 3 what are you going to do/be when your children have left home? What is going to be in your life then?

stoppinchingthedummy · 09/01/2011 08:52

coccyx - most choose to go back to work for selfish career minded reasons??

Really? in the current money climate were living in?? I think you will find many people would love to stay home at least only work part time but can't because they can not physically afford to!!

Libero · 09/01/2011 08:53

Eee

LadyintheRadiator · 09/01/2011 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Libero · 09/01/2011 08:55

Oops, apologies. Bleeding toddler playing with iPhone!

As you were, ladies Grin