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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that those who moan about the cost of childcare

144 replies

3x3 · 09/01/2011 01:12

should stay at home and mind their kids themsleves?

Now i'm not talking about those who have to work to pay their mortgages etc. to survive.But those who say 'oh i don't know why i work so hard and pay so much to the creche,i only come home with ?60 a month after paying the creche'

Eh,?60 won't pay your mortgage?? So therefore you dont NEED to work so mind your own children and save ?1600 a month. Simples!!

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:24

So if they are living off their DH's why are they moaning???? They wouldn't moan would they in your scnario because that £60 would not be missed.

I don't understand your point. are their DH's moaning?

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:24

Sorry custardo are you saying you do not have kids? I thought from your post you where talking about why you work?

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:26

so it is women this is aimed at? very forward thinking of you, women should know their place is in the home eh? god forbid they want a career.

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:26

That is exactly my point hobbgoblin.Why moan if you have a choice to stay at home rather than pay that amount to a creche.I did not say £60 would not be missed btw.

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:27

is it too soon to start banging my head on the table?

PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 02:27

do you honestly think there are any parents who work for the joy of it?

Yes and that was a very loaded and judgemental sentence (along with the OP's of course).

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:27

I am a woman so why would i think that??!

OP posts:
Tortington · 09/01/2011 02:28

i asked who could possibly know what motherhood is like before experiencing it. this was in response to your glib answer suggesting that a child is an inconvenience.

I suggest to you, that you can love your child more than life itself. However you can detest being a SAHP.

hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:29

you said they didn't need the money so i am figuring they don't burn it as well as give it away to you, all jolly like?

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:30

sorry penguin, I'm not seeing your point. loaded and judgemental in what respect?

and yes 3x3 of course there are women that think like that. don't pretend to be so naive as to think there aren't. we even see it on here.

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:30

Did i say anyone worked for the joy of it? Would you all re read the op and the rest of my comments again.

OP posts:
Tortington · 09/01/2011 02:31

what do you think of the other reasons i posted?

i would like to ensure my knowledge remains current in my field

i would like to retain my position within the organisation, knowing that doing so will serve me well in the long term

i would like to still have access to excellent pension cntributions

i would like to access training programmes

i would like to cnverse with someone on an adult level that doesn't involve words like 'cracked nipple' ' green poo' and competitive parenting

I like my collegues and enjoy the social side of work

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:32

so if these women whose husbands earn enough for them not to work, what else are they working for if not the joy of it? you are contradicting yourself.

Tortington · 09/01/2011 02:32

some people do actually enjoy work. this has to be a factor

PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 02:32

No re-read post 3x3, I'm saying your statement is obviously judgmental (as you've admitted).

Ilove: It's implying negative connotations about people who choose to work, but don't need to financially (i.e. for the joy of it).

hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:33

your op says there are women who do not need money
these same women moan about £60 paid in childcare
you are making a point about the looking after the blighters themselves if they don't want to pay

I am not understandign why the women would be moaning..1)it is their dH's money and 2)they don't need the money

oh but you said they did need the money...

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:34

i was implying no negative connotations at all!!

i am well aware that there are many people who enjoy there work, i am not aware of any people that work solely for the joy of it and not out of financial necessity aswell.

PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 02:35

well now you do. We had a choice of whether me, DH or both of us worked.

hobbgoblin · 09/01/2011 02:38

anyway, you are way overly simplistic in your thinking, and judgemental.

This is why childcarer's wages need to be raised so that we can have intelligent people looking after our children. At the moment an awful lot of creches are filled to the rafters with gossiping teenage twits with little useful opinion on anything more than their latest weekend antics.

I'm not saying the OP is like this or all childcarers but there is a worrying degree of ignorance, immaturity and stupidity in the field.

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:39

Where did i say they needed the money?? I said AFTER paying £1600 a month on childcare fees they were left with £60.And they where moaning about why do i work so hard to be left with just £60 a month.

When my point is if you can afford to be at home with your kids why waste the money on creche fees mind them yourself.

Going around in circles here girls!

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:39

pleased to meet you Grin

but please accept i was implying nothing negative at all about anyone who works out of choice and has their children cared for. i have children, i am home all day with them, and it is hard. i would never judge anyone who decided they wanted a career aside from that. i truly believe you are more than just a mum when you have children.

Tortington · 09/01/2011 02:41

it wouldn't be a circle 3x3 if you acknowledged my posts and commented on them

PenguinArmy · 09/01/2011 02:42

Judging by a lot of recent threads which seemed to be of the opinion that mothers should work, I am not the only one (though I was also against the tone of those threads).

What about people who could afford not to work due to the benefits that they would receive?

Original poster
3x3 · 09/01/2011 02:42

Hobbgoblin i agree with you. I think children are worth every penney of quality childcare but rather than have someone else rear your child for on average 6-8 hrs a day 5 days a week for the sake of getting out of the house, you should rear them youself at home.(not you the type of people im talking about that can afford not to work).

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 02:42

because 3x3, they are more than just a mother. why the hell shouldn't they develop a career? and i don't understand how these people you know, are complaining about being £60 better off a month. if their husbands are earning enough that the £60 doesn't need to go on bills then that is money they wouldn't have had if they weren't working.

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