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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sad and quite horrified that this couple aborted their babies...

126 replies

MsKLo · 08/01/2011 19:32

Couple with three sons abort twin boys conceived with IVF - and they will try again for a girl as their first daughter died

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1345057/Couple-sons-abort-twin-boys-IVF--try-baby-girl-daughter-died.html#ixzz1ATR8ExuK

I read this and was just Shock

I do really really feel sad for them too, but also horrified that they aborted their boys because they were not girls

So sad

OP posts:
Darnsarfupnorf · 08/01/2011 19:34

your not IMHO, i read this too and was horrified Sad

sarah293 · 08/01/2011 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 19:36

They already have 3 healthy boys who were conceived naturally too...

I just don't know what to think about them but I can't help but be really sad for the twin boys she aborted...

OP posts:
Shakirasma · 08/01/2011 19:44

I think they need some serious counselling! The loss of their daughter has clearly messed their heads up big time!

What I think is really unreasonable is a legal system which allowed them to have the abortion in the first place.

I am pro choice if their are good reasons, this was not. Whatever they say to the contrary, they are trying to replace the lost girl.

ziggyf · 08/01/2011 19:53
Sad
Mists · 08/01/2011 19:55

I'm also pro-choice but my gut reaction is that this is absolutely bloody horrible.

pink4ever · 08/01/2011 20:18

I am another pro-choice here but this has really torn me.As someone who has lost babies I can empathise with their desire to have another daughter. However I do feel that if you go down the route of letting people "choose" the sex of their children then we are on the slippery road to eugenics(blond hair,blue eyes,no problem?).
Also I am very concerned with the emotional well being of their surviving dcs. How must they feel knowing they are "not enough"?.

spikeycow · 08/01/2011 20:19

Wow. And to tell everyone in a newspaper like they are proud of it!

spikeycow · 08/01/2011 20:21

And the H reckons they are due a bit of luck? Those poor, poor boys Sad

ilovemyhens · 08/01/2011 20:23

I hope the woman ends up sterile and that their three sons dump them permanently once they reach 18 Angry

TheManWhoSoldtheWorld · 08/01/2011 20:25

Can they be given IVF again and again? Does ethics/counselling not come in to it?

bupcakesandcunting · 08/01/2011 20:26

I opened this thread ready to say YABU as I very pro choice but this is horrible.

No, YANBU at all. Bloody shocking.

RevoltingPeasant · 08/01/2011 20:30

I feel sorry for their existing sons. Imagine realising what your parents had done and why?

And imagine if they did get a DD, the pressure that child would be under!

I was supposed to be a boy, but, I think luckily for me, I disappointed my parents (and have been doing so ever since...).

expatinscotland · 08/01/2011 20:30

I think gender selection should only be allowed in cases where the couple carries a sex-linked disease.

SlightlyTubbyHali · 08/01/2011 20:31

I'm pro-choice, but this is just horrid.
You want a little girl so much, go to a country where sex selection is legal and have IVF there.

I don't have a problem with sex selection per se, but I am absolutely opposed to abortion being used to achieve it. Largely, I suppose, because part of my being pro-choice is that I have always assumed that any woman who has an abortion does so for good reason: she can't cope with a child, she could not bring a child up at that point in time, it is not right for her family to add another baby. But just because of the baby's sex ? It's pretty unacceptable.

AuntieMaggie · 08/01/2011 20:31

OMG - absolutely shocking!

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 08/01/2011 20:32

I agree with expat.

5inthebed · 08/01/2011 20:34

Truly shocking.

I agree with Expat about the gender selection.

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 20:37

I am pro choice bunting

Spikeycow - apologies to you from me for our bun fight last week on another thread - you were being passionate about how you feel and I should not have had a go at you for that so apologies - you sound like a strong woman with strong opinions and i admire that even if we don't necessarily agree!

OP posts:
raspberryroo · 08/01/2011 20:38

Again I'm pro- choice but there has to be a limit and am with expat

herbietea · 08/01/2011 20:39

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BuzzLightBeer · 08/01/2011 20:40

there isn't a limit if you are pro-choice, thats the whole point. Its their choice, not yours.

StiffyByng · 08/01/2011 20:43

I'm strongly pro-choice, mainly on the grounds that I believe people's own decisions about their lives should be respected. But this stuff strains my instincts, because it's such a stupid and callous way to behave. And I always find people who complain about their healthy children on the grounds of gender infuriating, even more so when, like this pair, they've experienced the pain of losing a child.

Original poster
MsKLo · 08/01/2011 20:43

It's hard to know how to feel
I am prochoice but I don't think I could ever have an abortion - I just don't know
I definately think the cut off rate for abortion is too high (except in exceptional circumstances)

I really don't know how to feel about this story!

OP posts:
spikeycow · 08/01/2011 20:43

Oh that's OK. I think when everyone disagrees I just get more extreme TBH. It was quite funny reading back on it Grin