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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

are you all scared of being called racists?

197 replies

SalvadorDalek · 08/01/2011 19:09

www.bbc.co.uk/news/
I am suprised nobody has posted this story
Why are we suprised,this has been going on for years

OP posts:
MillyR · 09/01/2011 22:31

I wouldn't be scared of being called racist. I find it silly that people are so quick to be offended by being called racist.

I am sure that in the course of my life I have sometimes been incompetent, selfish, ignorant, thoughtless, uncommitted, unprofessional and inappropriate. We all are sometimes. Sometimes people have pointed this out to me. Of course I do not want to be criticised all of the time, but sometimes appropriate people like a close family member or a senior person at work will point out how I could change. This is helpful to me as it makes to develop and become a more capable person. Sometimes I feel that the criticism is unwarranted and I choose not to change.

In much the same way, I have sometimes made remarks that others may view as sexist/racist/homophobic or distressing to people with a disability and had it pointed out to me. Sometimes I feel that criticism is unwarranted and I ignore it, and sometimes I realise it would benefit others and myself if I changed that attitude or way of speaking.

I am distrustful of people who never wish to be criticised for anything. As for people who are prepared to accept criticism unless it applies to racism - I don't understand that. Is it because they don't believe racism matters? Or is it because they believe they are the authority on the subject?

I am sure we can all think of examples of ill-informed political correctness. We can all probably think of examples where we have seen someone be criticised for being rude. Yet nobody suggests that contemporary society is too polite.

usedtobeyoung · 09/01/2011 22:37

Fine, so there may have been good things about the 1950's, race relations was not one of them! And i can assure you that Black peoples innocence was lost the minute they arrived in the UK. It was a unity based on exclusion.

seeker · 09/01/2011 22:45

If you don't say racist things, nobody will think you are a racist. Simple.

LBsmum · 09/01/2011 22:49

Slightly off thread but had a thought today that by making such headline grabbing comments Jack Straw was trying to undermine the BNP in the run up to the Oldham by election.

Listened to a BNP man ranting on the news today that it wasn't jack straws issue it was the BNP's as they raised this ' problem' years ago.

By airing such views it kind of takes away from the BNP their ability to say they are the only ones who care about this. Kind of like Margaret Hodge raising concerns about social housing queues in barking

Not afraid of being called a racist cause I'm not, talking about individuals rather than groups of people or so called 'communities' helps

mutznutz · 09/01/2011 22:52

seeker If only that were true. I think the problem is that what one person sees as racist, often another person sees as simply mentioning someone's race...and not necessarily in a derogitory way.

seeker · 09/01/2011 22:57

If anybody can come up with an example of someone being seriously called a racist when they haven't said anything racist, I will give 5 pounds to the charity of the poster's choice!

seeker · 09/01/2011 22:58

And Daily Mail articles don't count!

mutznutz · 09/01/2011 23:05

Ok I'll give you an example...

One of the parents in my son's school complained to one of the teachers about two African ladies spitting on the school playground. The teacher was apauled that the parent mentioned the fact they were African and went on to give a long speech about how 'It's not just Africans who spit' and 'white people spit too'....she then said she doesn't condone her racist attitude.

At no point had the parent said anything about Africans being the only ones spitting..nor did she say white people don't spit either. She merely described the two parents in question as being African...which was true as they were.

Now how was that racist?

BeerTricksPotter · 09/01/2011 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillyR · 09/01/2011 23:13

Seeker, I have been told by an American that I was a racist because I said I enjoyed watching Father Ted.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest that they did so. I simply think they were wrong. Sometimes people are wrong; it doesn't mean we should all stop working to promote equality.

seeker · 09/01/2011 23:19

How did she know they were Africans? If she knew them well enough to know where they came from, presumably she knew their names?

If she didn't think it was only Africans who spit, why did she single them out to tell the teacher about?

usedtobeyoung · 09/01/2011 23:44

MillyR you are right of course. Seeker has a point though, I'm pretty sure none of my friends have been accused of being racist.

tethersend · 09/01/2011 23:53

"If you don't say racist things, nobody will think you are a racist. Simple."

seeker has it in a nutshell.

mutznutz · 10/01/2011 00:01

No she made that point repeatedly that she didn't know their names. The fact is they were African and the fact is she described them as African....that is it, no more and no less.

mutznutz · 10/01/2011 00:02

She singled them out as you put it because they were the parents she witnessed spitting. She's hardly going to complain about anyone else spitting if she didn't witness it is she?

MillyR · 10/01/2011 00:06

I think it is slightly more complicated than made out. Some people make racist comments because they are deliberately trying to make racist comments. Some people make racist comments because they cannot be bothered to find out what might cause distress to others, and just want the world to operate along their own belief system.

So it might be more like:

If you think a bit more about other people's feelings and experiences, you're unlikely to say racist things, and then you won't be called a racist.

BeerTricksPotter · 10/01/2011 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mutznutz · 10/01/2011 00:10

Beertricks I'm not sure what you mean by 'norty' behaviour...it's disgusting yes, against school rules yes, and spreads germs.

As for her description it was factual as they are African.

My point is, I feel the teacher should have been more worried about the spit on a playground and simply thanked the parent...then spoken to the Head so they can put out a letter to all parents reminding them not to do it.

The whole 'race' thing imo was unecessary.

auntyfash · 10/01/2011 00:15

Has no-one mentioned the non-racists who start a sentence with "I'm not racist, but..." being wrongly accused of racism yet?

BeerTricksPotter · 10/01/2011 00:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wineandroses · 10/01/2011 00:21

Going back to the original OP - there have been numerous cases reported in the north and midlands of young girls being exploited and trafficked by pakistani men over the last few years and those reports have stayed in local media. It is only with the most recent case in Derby that National media has caught on. That is not to say that only pakistani men exploit/traffic girls; clearly many other ethnic groups do too, though what highlights these cases is that it's all local - not foreign girls or traffikers (sorry not sure how to spell that). I have a number of friends who teach in predominantly muslim schools and they have a view that many young muslim men have little respect for a) female teachers, b) white girls and c) females in general. Abuse of girls is not limited to particular races, but having a low opinion of women may have particular resonance in some communities, and that includes pakistani communities, and that is disturbing in a country such as ours. we should not be afraid to confront it - accusations of racism are a smoke screen.

dobiegirl · 10/01/2011 00:24

I think it's all a load of rubbish - the most racist people I know are black!!

mutznutz · 10/01/2011 00:25

I have no idea Beertricks but I'm guessing it's because her child is friends with the parents children...therefore she may know they are African? Or perhaps they dress in typically African dress?

I really have no answer for you but what I do know is this...my parents are Irish and are proud to be Irish. Therefore, if someone (who didn't know their names) described them as being Irish, I know for a fact they wouldn't have a problem with it...I mean why would they?

Equally I am English and if someone describe me as English I wouldn't have a problem either.

auntyfash · 10/01/2011 00:25

Just to redress the balance a bit, I have been raped,sexually abused as a youngster,flashed at, sexually abused (almost rape) as an adult and each and every time it has been by white British men. One time it was by a National Front member because he knew I didn't share his views.

dobiegirl · 10/01/2011 00:28

are you exagerrating there fash!! Was this only done by one white demon or by several?