I think I have been, re DH and DS1's birthday party

[Ormirian]

DS1 was 14 on Tuesday. We are taking some friends to play laser tag on Sunday and the home for food and cake. Didn't want to do it on Saturday as DD has a riding lesson and it would mean rushing around like a mad thing to fit it all in. Could have done it Sunday afternoon but then it would run into Sunday evening chores (baths, packed lunches, inevitable last minute hw ). So I booked it on Sunday morning and told DH today.

Problem is DH plays footie on Sunday am and there has only been one match for about a month. But there has hardly been a day over Christmas when Dh hasn't been out in the evenings for an hour or so, and has watched matches in the pub or at a friends' house. He managed to avoid a few family visits that way. All of which is fine in moderation but I think he took the piss personally this time.

I could change it to Sunday afternoon but as it would just increase the stress factor for me I don't want to. And I suspect I am trying to give him a subtle slap on the wrist - which isn't really like me.

DH didn't complain but looked a bit sorry for himself. So AIBU and selfish?

All sport is shit.

Except walking, riding and bobbing about in the sea, preferably with a drink in hand.

Ooh running isn't shit! After all in my case it's just going for a nice walk at a quicker pace I never go running without consulting my OS map first to find an interesting route. But then i suspect my sort of running isn't actually sport....

running is totally shit, if you mean the sort where only one foot is on the ground at a time. You can pull things running. It's not natural.

Dancing is a good sport. Horizontal or vertical

But he didn't complain did he?

YANBU He is an adult (I presume) and will have to accept that being an adult means having responsibilities which means looking after his DS, in this case.

Btw football could be a very effective cure for insomnia

Probably because he wouldn't dare after taking the piss over christmas

Running is quite good, agreed. Dancing v definitely top sport.

And cribbage.

Sport is a good excuse for avoiding family visits though. Well done to him

I like a bit of walking.

To the fridge and back to the sofa.

trucker - but one of them was to his own mother DC and I trotted along and did the dutiful without her.

Gahh! Without him.

At least it's not bloody sodding cut-my-throat-boring bad-trousers golf. That goes on for hours and hours and hours. And that's just playing it, never mind the brain-numbingly endless tv coverage of various 'can't miss this it's the Open/US Open/Outer Mongolian Open' games.

YANBU. I recommend a hearty boot to the gonads. Always makes DH do what I say see reason.

I'm only winding you up.
As a big sports fan and player I always stick up for men on the sports front.

I used to play with quite a few men who weren't allowed to play now and again for a variety of reasons.

One person's "weren't allowed to play" is another person's "you are a great big sodding arse grown-up who has the same responsibilites as the rest of us." IMVHO

Well I say a variety of reasons, their wives had decided they couldn't that week.

Worst reason was a visit to ikea or having to go and see Take That. Both appalling.

Hully is vair wise and speaks sense.

Why does a weekly riding lesson take preference over a monthly football match? Or are kids' hobbies sacred where as adults' aren'?
I'd have cancelled or changed the riding lesson.

"their wives had decided they couldn't that week."

Noooo....... I swore I'd never been one of those wives! Never had to be before. Now am really cross with DH.

Awwww diddums not allowed to play with my fwends :( Fucking men.

If I can't go and meet my friends for a pub night or whatever because i have responsibilities indoors, I tell them "ah sorry can't make it tonight as I've got to clean sick off the sofa/look after DS as DH is working late/whatever." Would never dream of saying DH wouldn't allow me to go.

DH on the other hand, despite my NEVER telling him he can't do stuff, in fact I egg him on to do more stuff outside of the home, will say to his friends when invited out "I'll see if I can get a pass out from bupcakes" So his mates probably think I'm a double-headed dragon behind the scenes and that DH has to bargain with me to go out. It's more like: DH "Am I OK to go out with Dave and Derek on saturday?" Me: "yeah, sure." It's like they're not real men unless they're henpecked or something.

Well DD hasn't been riding since beginning of December as she's been ill and then christmas and NY got in the way. And yes, I think the children's hobbies tend to be more important than adults' if we have to make a choice.

And it isn't weekly, just fortnightly. Can't afford weekly atm.

Sorry, shouldn't have said "fucking men" I should have just said "the fucking men I know"

Let's face it he's whipped.

His friends will ridicule him,and feel sorry for him but also understand his situation.

He'll start talking about having to earn brownie points to play. Next stop shuffling round Ikea on a Sunday morning.

'Do you remember Mr Orm? Didn't he used to play?
'Had to stop playing, another one gone'

"their wives had decided they couldn't that week."

Or

"Their EQUAL PARTNERS had pointed out the more pressing responsibilities incumbent upon BOTH OF THEM."