young, close relative has become an "escort" WWYD?

[notreallymehere]

20 something low closeish relative has become an escort. She has been thinking about it for a while, tried it in London, stopped but now has gone back to it in her home town. She is with what appears to be reputable agency and seems to be making quite a lot of money. Lots of reviews now appearing on her webpage etc. She appears fully happy with her choice - she had a job before (working in a coffee bar) but says that the money is better with this (she has previously worked as a lap dancer). My question is what do I tell my friends/acquaintances if they ask about her. I've discussed this with some people when she first started in London and the reaction was very aggressive "well you should have stopped her" etc etc. (hence name change) Fact is that she is an adult and this is her choice and I cannot see how I can stop her - she is making a far bit of money at this and is very financially motivated. However she is part of the family and it is difficult to avoid the questions but many people are very judgemental (of me for somehow "allowing" this to happen).

dk...escorts take money for allowing men to penetrate them that they would normally not even look at

that is prostitution

that is what we are talking about

men using money to get sex off women who have to put their disgust to one side

no, soggy, I think I got the correct gist of your post

"assuming it was the restaurant one" ???

how disingenuous

Oh yes, it is prostitution. Its just someone said time isn't part of the equation, which may be true for parlour girls/ street girls, but for escorts - it is.

deliakate we are talking about escorts - hence the subthread about how it is not purely about sex :)

Escorts are paid to sleep with men for money

Anything else is just about what is a "better class" of prostitution which I find wholly offensive.

Some people clearly don't agree with prostitution in any of its guises so are not going to make any distinction at all.

It seems that men are willing to make some distinction, and however illusory this may be, it means that, with the right marketing and packaging, they are willing to pay £300 to sleep with a girl they could have once had for £30. Interesting to conjecture on the reasons for this, could go on all day.

no, I don't make any distinction

I don't think any men have the right to buy sex

and anybody who would find it interesting to speculate on why some women can charge 30 quid and some can charge 300 quid clearly has a problem with empathy

I didn't read that as being a question about whether any particular women could charge more or less - more being a question about whether the industry had changed and become more diferenciated and if so why

Or an interest in sociology.

Clearly I hate the idea of sex trafficking, of coercion, of women suffering in any way at the hands of those who would like to buy or sell them for sex. But I don't agree that those things are endemic to all forms of prostitution.

Nor do I and I also think that it is an interesting area to look at - especially the way that the industry is currently developing.

carry on with your interesing chat then, you two

what have you stopped for ?

The amount a prostitute can charge is often set for her by her violent pimp, who then pockets nearly all of it. He does give her some drugs however, in order to feed the addiction he forced onto her when he first found, beat and raped her.

Let's chat about how her pimp comes up with that figure. Interesting!

blinder we were not talking about women forced into prostitution by violent pimps but abot women who choose to become prostitutes.

@ "grandiose pomposity"

"Is it? I said the opposite of what shd claims I'm saying."

I know, I meant I can see why the context of your argument would go straight over Shd's head

deliakate there is no distinction between a man buying a street-girl in prostitution to fund a a drug habit and an escort. THe only difference is- and this is rather clever marketing- the punter believes he's a better person for paying more money for sex

it's illogical because no matter how you look at it you can't get away from the fact that these men are abuse their economic power in society by buying people's bodies

Dittanys words are saying that we are bought like packets of crisps or taxi journey, they are HER thoughts HER words so SHE is comparing us to them not the punters, also HER words are calling us fuckholes not the punters, SHE chooses these words to compare us with, like I say in all the years of Hooking I have never had a punter compare me as such or call me a fuckhole.
Like I say she loves telling us what we say or what we think.

There are so many arguments going on here, and its very difficult to discuss the many variances that do exist within the industry with people who are so clearly opposed to prostitution in any form whatsoever. So I think I'll decline.

I'm someone who is opposed to prostitution. For me that means being opposed to prostitution in all forms.

The reasoning for this is that I object to prostitution on the grounds that I think it is wrong for human beings to buy sexual access to other human beings. I think it is wrong be it happening in a backstreet for a packet of smack or 10 quid or in a posh hotel for diamonds or hundreds of pounds.

Anyway let's face it, the above two situations go hand in hand together. The women may at least be in better conditions in the latter situation but the 'top' end would not exist without the 'bottom' end and vice versa.

(This is one of the reasons that, whilst I think full responsibility lies with punters and pimps, I do think that prostitutes who have other options open to them, are not doing anybody any favours - except perhaps themselves and their punters.)

If women are going to sell access to their bodies, of course it is preferable that they get paid a lot for it, and do so in comfortable surroundings with non-violent clean punters and no pimps.

The issue remains the same however - men thinking they are entitled to access women's bodies whenever they want to. That is why I'm as much opposed to escorting prostitution as I am to street prostitution and everything in between.

ditto, BC

BC I still don't follow the argument - you can buy a house, people can sell houses but that doesn't mean that anyone can access your house whenever they want to. Same for (say) a sports therapist - you can buy their services but you cannot just go in and demand them whenever you want to.

IMO it is this idea, ie the idea that all women should be forced to be really careful about when and why they have sex or otherwise men will get the wrong idea about what they can or can't have which is the really oppresive one.

The idea that the actions and desisions of one individual as regards sexual access to her body, and how this will someone make or allow men to think that they have access to others, is the same sort of thinking which, in its extreme, ends up with women's acceptable dress being restricted etc.

Can't you see that it would be better, for all women, if we accepted the choices that women make and focused on getting all men to understand that it was the woman's desision as to what she was prepared to do, and under what circumstances; rather than saying that because some women choose to have sex for money then men will obviously get the idea that women are objects? That seems to let men off the hook rather and borders on the "she was asking for it by wearing that skirt" mentality. If a man thinks of a woman as an object then that is his issue - he has not been made to think like that by any choice that a woman has made. Allowing him to think that he has is wrong.

No, I don't see that that would be better.

Of course I cannot go to see an individual sports therapist at any time I want. A man cannot access an individual prostitute any-time he wants either - he will be able to access a prostitute however (as long as he has money in his pocket).

I don't think women should be forced to be careful about how/when they have sex. I think it should be illegal to coerce someone to consenting to sex either by financial or other means. I wish to put the responsibility firmly on the punters and the pimps - not on the women.

I do not wish to oppress anybody in their private consenting sex lives.

Actually I think most men have compartments in their brains for women - one for wife and girlfriend material and another for the sex class AKA prostitutes, lap-dancers, women in porn, etc. I think many men are able to differentiate between the women they are entitled to buy access to and the women they actually have to have a relationship with.

However, that said, the fact remains that society condones the message that X percent of women will be made available for any man who wishes to buy access to women's sexual organs.

Thereby society accepts that men are entitled to buy this access to women, and that the demand this entitlement generates, is acceptable. Because money is involved there are always going to be people who will supply this demand. Some of these people will be happy hookers who control their own money. Some of these people will be pimps who coerce, beat, drug, rape, emotionally blackmail and threaten women whilst controlling the money exchanged. Some of these people will be traffickers, some of these people will be sexual predators who prey on victims of sexual abuse, homeless women, teenage runaways, drug addicts, poor women - in brief any vulnerable female members of society. Some of these people will be women who are unable to find another way to feed their kids or themselves.

In a civilised society women should not have to be penetrated by strangers in order to put food on their table. In a civilised society it should not be acceptable for men to penetrate women just because they want to, and can afford to buy women's consent (or pay a pimp to force her consent).

Prostitution, by its very nature, markets women as objects (as do porn and lapdancing).

A man who walks into a brothel, or down a street in a red light district, can pick and choose the 'version' of woman he wants - the women are objectified by the very act of society accepting prostitution. The woman generally has no choice in this - the man actively contributes to this. Society condones it.

As for the rest, well, it's just luck isn't it who ends up in the wives and girlfriends compartment and who ends up in the sex class (if you are a woman that is)? As a feminist I cannot support such male entitlement and female oppression.

what BC said so well x 100