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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross with a mums comment about mental health

138 replies

ddubsgirl · 05/01/2011 17:50

a mum i am friendly with at my boys school this afternoon was chatting to me & another mum,she said she was being refered to mental health team as she may be bi polar,which is fine but it was what she said after that she hopes she is as it means more money and shes going to make sure sure she gets everything she can,she has 3 kids,partner has a few weeks ago come out of prison for drug dealing has ss on her back all the time,she was working but gave it up as its easier to claim income support,now my eldest gets DLA as he is dyspraxic,i would gladly give it up to have a healthy child,a close friend of mine has bi polar and it inst nice,she really struggles and sure as hell doesnt see it as an easy way to make money!

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 05/01/2011 17:51
Biscuit
theywillgrowup · 05/01/2011 17:54

oh i now have my evening planned, tv was carp watching this thread

lol

sarah293 · 05/01/2011 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MangoTango · 05/01/2011 17:59

Maybe she means that whatever it is that she is suffering from has been awful and at least if it is diagnosed she will be able to get some financial support. Her condition could be interfering with her ability to work so the money might be much needed. I would think most people would rather forego the money and not have bipolar given the choice.

TwinklePants · 05/01/2011 18:00

Don't tell me... she's Kerry Katona?

Original poster
ddubsgirl · 05/01/2011 18:01

lol i dont know,i am not getting at people claiming,we were on jsa last year,was for awhile has dp had 2 ops on his knee,he then spent jan-nov 08 at a college run by jobcenter and lucky got a job last april,i was just cross that she saw it as a way to get more money rather than hoping that she was ok and not to have any mental problems

OP posts:
Original poster
ddubsgirl · 05/01/2011 18:03

thats what i mean mango,i would rather be healthy,she was going on about her dp had just got a £1000 loan off the social and she was hoping they say she is ill so she could claim everything and something about having all her debt written off.

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 05/01/2011 18:06

but she's obviously having mental health problems or she'd not be seeing the mental health team

GooseFatRoasties · 05/01/2011 18:08

You know whether you are ill and can't work even if you don't know your diagnosis.I think she was relieved she would have somthing in writing so she could get help.I don't know what your point is. People with Mental health problems have enough stigma to deal with without being portrayed as scroungers.Bipolar can be very debilitating, my mum gave up working because of it.BTW she doesn't claim any benefits as my Dad is on a good salary.

Memoo · 05/01/2011 18:10

Why would she get money for having bp? Who from? I have mental health problems and don't get any money because of it.

Besom · 05/01/2011 18:11

But someone has obviously suggested to her already that she could well be bi-polar. Can you not see that might be trying to make a silver-lining out of a dark cloud? Or maybe there is some bravado going on here and she's trying to cover her anxiety about it.

I can see why you might have rolled your eyes a bit at this but not to feel cross. YABU.

manicbmc · 05/01/2011 18:11

If she can be that calculating about it all she very probably doesn't have bipolar and has read some stupid sleb story in a crappy magazine. Bipolar is damn difficult to live with and takes an age to get meds right so you feel on an even keel.

Besom · 05/01/2011 18:11

Memoo - she could get Disability Living Allowance but it is not easy to get by any means.

Original poster
ddubsgirl · 05/01/2011 18:16

she wants full DLA,she has been drepressed due to her dp going to prison(was in 8 weeks)but his own fault he was drug dealing from the family home,was on tag but got back late so was arrested again,i think the gp has refered her,he said she might bit but until she is seen it could be nothing,as i said i made me cross that she saw it as a money making chance,rather than wanting to be healthy.

OP posts:
GooseFatRoasties · 05/01/2011 18:17

If she gets any money she bloody well deserves it.ESA (the new incapacity benefit) is very hard to get onto now and DLA is hard to get too.

Besom · 05/01/2011 18:18

That's not to put anyone off claiming. CAB can help with claims.

manicbmc · 05/01/2011 18:20

Bipolar is what used to be called 'manic depression' - it is not feeling a bit down because of circumstances. It is extreme swings in mood and temperament amongst other things and is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.

I think she is taking the piss. People like her make me really angry and take resources away from those actually in need.

Original poster
ddubsgirl · 05/01/2011 18:20

manic yes its awful a friend who i grew up with has it,she has 4 kids and has had a lot of trouble getting meds right,she nearly lost her 2 older kids because of it,i know she would rather be fine than mentally ill

OP posts:
pagwatch · 05/01/2011 18:20

Can we just go back to the bit in your op where you described this woman as someone you are friendly with..
Why do you not just leave her alone as you clearly neither like her nor her partner?

Original poster
ddubsgirl · 05/01/2011 18:22

goose if and a big IF she is then fair enough to get dla etc but i have the feeling she is milking it alot.

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LovePinkBitsOfMyHorse · 05/01/2011 18:23

I get £90 DLA for having bipolar. It's great, I spend it on horses and cocaine.

LovePinkBitsOfMyHorse · 05/01/2011 18:24

I was getting contributions based ESA too but forgot to send medical evidence in so it stopped.

manicbmc · 05/01/2011 18:24

In that case, I'd be even more angry on your behalf. You know what a struggle it has been for your friend who has genuine mental health problems.

LovePinkBitsOfMyHorse · 05/01/2011 18:24

(£90 a week, £360 ish a month)

Original poster
ddubsgirl · 05/01/2011 18:27

i do like her and her son is friends with my twins and was there for her when her dp was in prison but after a long time of her saying she was hard done by cos her dp was locked up,well sorry it was his own fault,and to be happy that she could be mentally ill and she could claim loads of money is abit well heartbreaking,more for the kids i guess

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