to be cross with a mums comment about mental health

[ddubsgirl]

a mum i am friendly with at my boys school this afternoon was chatting to me & another mum,she said she was being refered to mental health team as she may be bi polar,which is fine but it was what she said after that she hopes she is as it means more money and shes going to make sure sure she gets everything she can,she has 3 kids,partner has a few weeks ago come out of prison for drug dealing has ss on her back all the time,she was working but gave it up as its easier to claim income support,now my eldest gets DLA as he is dyspraxic,i would gladly give it up to have a healthy child,a close friend of mine has bi polar and it inst nice,she really struggles and sure as hell doesnt see it as an easy way to make money!

Its just there is a difference between severe versions of any of these and someone moaning on and on about how they can't work, then settling on the most comfortable version of that story - its naive to think that doesn't happen - I even know one or two people who have bipolar who take crack smoke dope and drink daily who complain of 'severe depression' every morning - then describe exactly how I feel with a hangover

I wouldn't put mustard on my twadge though narkypuffin.

A bipolar affective disorder diagnosis does not guarantee any benefit. You have to demonstrate how the condition effects you. Not always easy and not always fair, especially under the new regime, I'd imagine. I am bipolar and am part of a support group, the difference in the level of benefits my friends there are given is pretty worrying, given that we all suffer pretty severe symptoms. Really sad that someone sees this as an alternative career opportunity.

At least hypothetically (obviously I don't know the woman in question), she is ill, and can't work because of it. She currently has no diagnosis.

If she gets a diagnosis of being bipolar then she is ill, can't work, but has a diagnosis and can get some help and (apparently, although I have no idea whether that's even true) additional money.

If she doesn't get a diagnosis of being bipolar then she's still ill, still can't work, but won't have a diagnosis and won't be able to get any help or any additional money.

Is it really so bad for her to prefer the first scenario?

this is what i mean it made me cross that she sees it as something to cash in on rather than saying she hoping its not and how it will/would affect her kids,kids have been through enough already,not a way to get more money,but as pointed out its not easy to get the dla etc,she was on about she is going to claim everything that she could while rubbing her hands together yet on the news tonight about a parent whos severly disabled son was have funding cut :(

As a Psychiatric Nurse I have actually been quite heartened to see such an understanding here to mentally ill people, I dont know what I was expecting but in the general public there is still a lot of stigma attached to mental health which usually leads to a lack of understanding and empathy about the problems mental illness can cause, not only to the person but to the wider family to.

Bipolar is not an easy illness to live with - Ive seen it from both sides as Ive nursed people with it, both during the manic and depressive periods plus my MIL also has it, although she is well controlled on her meds, she has had a pretty major episode in the last few years that involved beind detained under the Mental health Act in hospital. Biploar is not simply depression or feeling happy - it can involve psychotic episodes where the person loses touch with reality and cant be held responsible for their behaviour. My MIL during an episode bought a car and drove 100s of miles away before crashing and ending up in hospital the other side of the country. She cant work - so she receives benefits.

Im sure she would much rather work than have her illness, which broke up her marriage as her husband couldnt handle it, and affected her relationship with my DH all through his childhood and to this day.

So yes Im a bit fed up to with benefit bashing - "make the scroungers work" kind if thing, when it includes people who are genuinely mentally ill.

As a foot note Heroine I would find it quite surprising if a "counsellor" nearly diagnosed you with Bipolar, as its a medical illness they wouldnt be qualified to do this, the only people who are are Dcotors, including Psychiatrists.

Medication for bipolar tend to be a combiantion of things, mainly mood stabilzers, of which Lithium is popular as is anti epileptic drugs such as Epilim, which also function as mood stabilizer.

Re diagnosis, Yes I know, and I also know that its one manic episode, rather than the depressive instances that is the defining characteristic, but the problem I have is that many people self-identify as bipolar because of periods of 'manic' activity, often retrospectively, and by recollection once they have self-diagnosed - eg (after calling themselves bipolar) in a diagnosis session recalls a 'mad' trip to london, whre they didn't know where they were or what they were doing, ended up sleeping outside... from their 20s. That account will cause lots of investigation and hand-wringing as well as dollar signs in the unethical - there are people in mental health hospitals who are essentially just drug addicts, or con artists who are fully cognizant of their activities.

Heroine you need some new friends.

How come everyone has a 'scrounger' for a neighbour these days?

Bi-polar disorder can lead to some pretty risky behaviour though Heroine - including drug and alcohol use - I lost my sister for 10 years to drugs and a chaotic lifestyle - until she was finally dignosed 10 years ago

it makes sense if your bipolar friends use drugs to be honest

well where i live most people are on benefits,and often she people working while claiming,or you hear them in the playground talking about it,this lady im on about isnt my neighbour but have known her 6 years as our kids all go to school together.

I had a serious 'drug episode' so did my sister and my niece. and actually everyone else i know (not saying everyone, just those diagnosed that i know) one of the traits is being VERY reckless with your life whist believing you are invinsible.

I doubt very much that anyone would be in a mental health hospital by choice. You really dont seem to know what your talking about Heroine.

i cant seem to spell anymore either, wonder if i can claim anything for that

Well, i hate to say it that periods of wildness and drug-taking and manic ideas of invincility that are later 'diagnosed' as 'really' being a manic episode is exactly what I am talking about. As it happens many people ARE in mental hospitals through choice - just as you or I might not think living on the streets, or 'freecycling' from skips is a choice anyone would voluntarily make, but it is, the same is true of the mental health services being abused by people who like control of their life taken away. I have met people who would never ever in a million years 'choose' to live like I do, because they are completely unaware of the difference economic power makes to what you are able to decide so it is all relative - what to you and me is a miserable place filled with desparate quasi junkies and depressives, to others used to living on their own in unheated accommodation on the dole, is a catered for polite and managed palace.

.. where all their pals are, where they can get drugs delivered and where they can make money off the manic patients spending on a high...

yes no banana

Okay Heroine we get it - you are the ONLY truely bipolar person in the world - everyone else is a faker - have a gold star

having seen the sheer hell my poor lovely sister has gone through I beg to differ

in fact I'd go as far as saying you are talking out of your bottom x

theres a lady here that killed herself,she had posted on facebook she had taken an overdose but no one went to help here or called 999,she suffered from depression,a very sad situation,noone beleived her and some posted nasty things on her wall.

It's really quite hard to get into our local phychiatric hospital these days though.

You have to be really very ill, and they have to think that they can medically treat you, or they send you packing.

They put nurses into you at home in the first instance.

I don't recognise this description of drug users using the hospital as a doss house.

huh? I am not bipolar no matter how often some MH professionals seem to want to make me. I am just saying that some diagnosed suffer, some are diagnosed incorrectly - and many people outside that are convinced they are 'a bit bipolar' because they, their counsellor or other agents have 'diagnosed' this - some wil definitely exaggerate to get benefits - that is well-known. Its also well-known that young girls and boys also 'fake' mental health disorders as experiments, attention-seeking and as part of 'fashion'. don't freak out because i have a different opinion - I have seen true mania and its not like a 'heck I'm going to spend loads and then get depressed' shopping spree - its much much worse than that, so it bugs me when people with weak doctors are telling stories and getting meds when they need a kick up their lazy arse.

And can you distinguish between these people then, heroine, i assume you must be able to as you seem so clued up on the subject, how many mental institutions have you visited? Is this something that you yourself are doing perhaps? i cant think how you would know such detail otherwise. I have visited many institutions visiting family whjo have this disorder, and i have regular check ups at the outpaitents department. In fact since i was a small child this 'thing' has been hanging over my family, so i do know it inside out. Ive seen the damage views like yours can do, you have no idea who is genuine and who isnt, so your default, as it seems to be in this thread, is to assume 'fine and dandy just wants a hit/cash scumbag scrounger'. And that view injected into forums like this, and to people in the street is toxic, and people like you make it harder and harder for people who suffer from these things to get the right help, to speak up, to get better. I am one of those real people i am talking about, and your views make my life unnessasarily harder than it needs to be.

Also if someone sees living inside of a mental institution better than 'real life' i'd wager they must also actually need to be there.

Well said BabyDubs.

Are you on a wind up?
You are talking to people who have had their lives ripped apart by mental illness and you are being offensive. If you have a problem with your doctor then you should complain through the proper channels, You dont seem to have any mental health issues, well lucky you, you do seem to have a shit attitude though, perhaps you could get that looked at...

Im not freaking out at all - your opinion means little to me because it seems to be based on your own bizzar theories rather than actual fact :)

And mental illness affects wealthy people who don't even need benefit.And many go back to work if the treatment controls the symtoms well enough. (everyone is different)