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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stupid things MIL have said about raising children

103 replies

burps · 04/01/2011 11:57

Probably not the right place for it, but never mind. Thought it would be interesting to share the above;

  • 'Putting them to sleep on their back, well that is just the latest fad, you should put them to sleep on their front'
  • 'You make her nap too much, she won't learn anything'. I tried to explain the benefits of a 3 month old napping, but it fell on deaf ears.

Next?

OP posts:
Extremelychocolatey · 04/01/2011 11:58

Why start a MIL bashing thread? Hmm

classydiva · 04/01/2011 11:59

You should tell her that research into cot deaths show you should lay a baby on it's front! fgs.

My mum never told me anything or got involved, besides if she had I would not have listened. YOu have to learn for yourself the best way for you.

Even in nurseries they have nap times for 3 year olds!

charliesmommy · 04/01/2011 12:00

MIL's have usually raised their own kids successfully enough for them to get to an age where they marry...

Original poster
burps · 04/01/2011 12:01

Extremelychocolately Because I am very very frustrated by her. No need for you to join if you don't like it.

OP posts:
mutznutz · 04/01/2011 12:03

To be honest the advice on sleeping positions for babies has changed constantly over the years...as has most of the other advice.

Extremelychocolatey · 04/01/2011 12:05

Damn right I don't like it, burps. If you have a problem with your DMiL then discuss it with her. If you don't have the guts then ask your DH to do so.

TandB · 04/01/2011 12:05

MILs are also mothers and grandmothers and aunts and sisters. Stupid advice is not solely the domain of MILs.

While there are some horrendous in-laws out there, I do sometimes feel sorry for MILs. They have a poor reputation.

GetOrfMoiLand · 04/01/2011 12:06

I remember the advice when i was pregnant changed from sleeping on front to sleeping on back.

The 'guidelines' change all the time.

I can't get inflamed about 'omg she put her to sleep on her front'

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 04/01/2011 12:06

Blimey, this is unpleasant. I am not going to join in but, really, have a think about what you have done.

RudeEnglishLady · 04/01/2011 12:06

Everybody, not just MILs, says stupid things about raising children. Sometimes you get a pearl of wisdom from the person you least expect. Use your brain to differentiate between the two and ignore that which is not helpful.

whoneedssleepanyway · 04/01/2011 12:08

took DD1 to a family wedding when she was 2 and I was 7 months pregnant at the time. At 930 when DD was very tired (and I was too) I said I was going to take her back to the hotel.

MIL pipes up "oh dear I guess that is going to mean I have to go now too"

ummmmm No, what do you think I do 95% of the time when you aren't here...?

RudeEnglishLady · 04/01/2011 12:09

If she's really frustrating you, ask her to put some washing through. If you trust her!

Original poster
burps · 04/01/2011 12:13

Extremelychoc. I have discussed it with her. I suppose what my OP will have totally failed to get across is the way in which things are said. I totally understand sleeping guidelines have changed. But when I try to explain this to her and show her the literature on it she just points her nose up, looks away and refuses to discuss it.

OP posts:
TandB · 04/01/2011 12:14

Then why not start a thread about YOUR mil. Not one implying that all MILs are a bit pointless and rubbish.

mutznutz · 04/01/2011 12:19

Actually something my Mum (RIP) said in the past did make us all laugh.

She cooked a lovely roast dinner when staying with my Sister and her family. My sister went to throw the beef dripping away.

Mum said "Oh save it, the kids will love some of that on toast"

Sister said "No Mum, I'd really rather they didn't eat fat"

Mum said "Oh it didn't do me any harm...mind you I'm not allowed it now cos of my heart"

I must admit even Mum had a good chuckle when she realised what she'd said Grin

whoneedssleepanyway · 04/01/2011 12:21

that is funny mutznutz, i thought that was what this thread was going to be like when i joined it but seems to have headed in another direction....

Lonnie · 04/01/2011 12:27

Whilst I have had plenty of poor advice on child raising I have to say not a single piece of them have come from my mil she is fab..

My first HV did however tell me that bringing my child up bilingually would hinder her speach development. Grin

altinkum · 04/01/2011 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 04/01/2011 12:35

She managed to bring your dp up didn't she

tinkertitonk · 04/01/2011 12:36

Every mother has a good chance of becoming a MIL.

iloveyankees · 04/01/2011 12:36

I have a fab MIL :O she said to me when I was pregnant with my eldest that she would not intervere at all but was always there if I needed any advice about anything

My own mother is a different story lol like trying to give my 5 mth old baby a bottle of tea Hmm I said no but because she gave us 5 kids tea when babies she see's it as her way is the righ way iykwim and got in a mood about it

whilst talking about babies why have they changed the way bottles are made up? I never had any probs with my 2 when they were made up and put in the fridge Confused

Summerbird73 · 04/01/2011 12:38

good god i clicked on this thinking it was going to be a light hearted 'guess what my MIL said'. There are loads of threads like this - is there a MN new year resolution not to have them anymore?

Anyway, my step MIL conv below:

SMIL: When is DS1's christening going to be?
Moi: We arent having him christened
SMIL: Shock Shock NO CHRISTENING? But how are you going to keep the baby safe???
Moi: Er - that is mine and DH's job Hmm

Tortington · 04/01/2011 12:39

mil bashing - love it.

my mil told me to use 'proper' terry nappies - like i didn't have enough to do without scraping shit out of nappies.

she also told me to buy one of those huge 70's perambulator pram things on fucking huge suspention wheels. yeah like getting that on a bus would be a piece of piss.

she was also shoving chocolate and gravy and mash down my kids throat much too early. but then i was only 17 and i was shy and weak.

allnightlong · 04/01/2011 12:40

Your VERY frustrated at two little things, you need to chill out for one thing your DH manage to survive to adulthood.
She's right about one thing parenting advice changes all the time, I'm sure normal parenting of today will be just as heavily criticised by the next generation.

rodformyownback · 04/01/2011 12:40

chocolatey how lovely to see you call yours DMIL! Have started a thread on this this very morning.

Extremely unfair to start a general MIL-bashing thread. They are people like everyone else and we all have a good chance of becoming one one day. I hope my DDILs are more tolerant of me than some MNers are of theirs!