Stupid things MIL have said about raising children

[burps]

Probably not the right place for it, but never mind. Thought it would be interesting to share the above;

• 'Putting them to sleep on their back, well that is just the latest fad, you should put them to sleep on their front'

• 'You make her nap too much, she won't learn anything'. I tried to explain the benefits of a 3 month old napping, but it fell on deaf ears.

Next?

My DD is only 6 months old, but the way DH and I are learning to cope with her comments is to play 'Bolloxs Bingo!'
Basically in the car on the way over we try and think of all the dumb slightly annoying things she will say. The list normally has things on it like:
You should wrap her up, Babies feel the cold (not unreasonable in itself, but she'll say it when DD is already wearing thick layers - she also said it when she was born in summer and 29 degrees)
You should shave her head so her hair grows thicker.
You need to change her nappy/feed her - duh,wondered where I was going wrong?!!
She'll be walking/talking/sitting/reading/whatever in a couple of weeks..
You spoil her
You cuddle her too much
Giver her to me

She loves DD so I let everything go. She's a nice lady who means well.

My mother on the other hand says things like "Well I did okay with you and your brother" whenever I question her. I wish I had the guts to tell her how fucked up I am as a result of some of her parenting choices..,

My ex MIL told me that breastfeeding was dodgy because she was so stressed out when feeding her son that her milk curdled and made him sick

I was also supposed to bite my babies nails, not cut them. Put them outside in the pram in all weathers. Only ever feed them once every 4 hours, despite the crying. Oh, and a real pearler...put them on the potty at 3 months old, every 10 minutes.

As if...

My mil's best comment so far- when ds was 3 months old, she announced he would be autistic (aspergers). Oh yes, and that dh was too. And fil. After asking her to repeat this in front of dh, she tried to deny she'd said this, but was obvious as she kept talking that she had. As it turned out, this was not based on any medical check up or anything, but in that both her husband and son tend to tune her out (as she waffles on and on). My dh tells me not to worry, cue me worrying for next three years until very obvious that son not autistic at all. I have learned to tune her out too.

quietlysuggest - That's exactly what my MIL does too. Its such a small thing, but you're right it drives you mad!

quietlysuggest my DMum does that too! She is wonderful but it drives me nuts!

As i said earlier my StepMIL is the dodgy one but my actual MIL is fab and i love her - she said to me that if anyone gives me any of that bollox i have to just grit my teeth and say 'well this works for us' and ignore them. However she still laughed at me when i said i wouldnt give DS honey until he was 1 (actually to this day i still dont see what harm it could have done him but i believed the hype!)

Deciduousblonde - I bit my baby's nails rather than cut them, and after reading a thread in chat full of people who accidentally cut their baby's fingers while doing their nails, I'm glad I did!

ExMIL is completely mad. Last time she was here she told me I'd need to start thinking about buying DD a bra soon. DD is 5

When I decided to breastfed, Mil said 'they only tell you all that nonsense about it being good for the baby to save the midwives having to make bottles in the hospital!'
Also because I'd four babies of the same gender, ' thats because only one of your ovaries is working, the male side!'

MIL: 'Give him a dummy"
Me: 'He doesn't seem to like it, he just gags and spits it out'
MIL: 'Put something sweet on it'

Not MIL but my father after DD1 was born told DH he'd proved himself a man as the father decides if its a girl and the mother a boy tried telling him otherwise but HE WAS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

Wonder if there's a MIL website where they're all posting the stupid things their DILs have said.

Oh no, I forgot, we're all perfect.

I had a dummy at hand if it was needed, only one of my kids used it till 8 months. My MIL made it clear from the first child that it looked disgusting looking at a child with a plastic plug on their mouth- now my SIL has a child age 4 still using a dummy- MIL has gone quiet on the subject.

rudolpherina your comment about the ovaries reminds me of an interview I once saw with Ronnie Corbett in which he said his mother was told that the reason he was so small was because she only had one ovary!

Not about parenting as such but my mil said to ds when he was 7 that Jesus would punish him if he wasnt kind to her all the time. Fortunately ds was wise to her already and didnt take it seriously otherwise....

My MIL made it clear that because she was bothered by her MIL about potty training she would never interfere in me raisng up mine...for as long as:

-they did not use dummies
-always were dressed (babygrow does not do)
-faces should always be cleaned up and not with baby wipes (made face smell funny)
-when visitors came to her house there should be no crying or moaning - I would get the looks to get up and look to it immediatly
-if the child would change mind about reading, she would mutter "stupid" under her bbreath. Had to call out "excuse me!!" once for her not to do it again.

I could be here all day....

Can't generally fault my mil but she did raise a few eyebrows when she gave 4 yo nephew pepsi "to calm him down" after he had an allergic reaction after eating walnuts and started to swell up all over! Her 4 kids seem to have turned out ok so she can't be too crazy.

My MIL was a Midwife, so in theory she should be up to date on NHS guidelines, so her son believes every word that comes out of her mouth until MIL says,

DGS stays awake because you feed (BLWed) to much red food, all those tomatoes and strawberries.

Que me and DP having huge argument at 3am as I ignored MIL. Followed by a few days latter me asking DP to find out what medical paper this fact came from.

I never did get a reply, next time he spoke to her he said DS was eating garlic mushrooms. All I heard on the phone was GARLIC! followed by DP, Don't be daft Mother, it's good for you.

It's more things she's done, insisted we sat in full sunlight, red head GS and DIL, hight of summer, not shade, for a picnic, so she could sit on a bench even though we had a good picnic chair for her, with both her GS's under 4 months. Poured boiling tea over her sons back and when he objected told him not to be daft, good job he was there or it would have gone over DS less than a week old.
After being told not to go up stairs with a 3 wheel buggy, she went full speed and tipped the buggy, DS 3 weeks old.
'Cut his hair it will grow quicker.'
'White is practical, you don't know how much you'll be bleaching his clothes.' Because redheads look so ill pale in white, or I do anyway.
I could keep going, he's survived to 20 months, I shall continue to ignore her.

My MIL has been great so far (ds only 4mo so there's still time ), I think because she suffered a bit with interference from her PIL.

But on the subject of putting babies on their backs - they don't keep changing the advice, it's been backs for ages, and since that advice was brought in cot deaths have fallen by 70% so I don't think they'll be changing it in a hurry!

The advice in the 1980's was to put babies to sleep on their fronts or on their side. The rationale for that was, if they are sick, they are less likely to choke. It made sense and so I followed that advice. Ann Diamond sadly lost a baby due to cot death,from what I remember, a lot of research pointed the finger at babies being too warm and a possible link to bacteria in the mattress. That's just from memory.

Just an illustration of why people would give advice/an opinion, including MIL's.

There is nothing wrong with giving advice when is needed and appreciated. The problem usually occurre when people dont know when to put the plug on it or offer it rather than demand followers!! If advice is not accepted dont through a tantrum like a 5 years old take it back and use it where is appreciated....

I love wisdom and there is a lot to learn from older people is the way that they are dished that gets on my nerves...