Stupid things MIL have said about raising children

[burps]

Probably not the right place for it, but never mind. Thought it would be interesting to share the above;

• 'Putting them to sleep on their back, well that is just the latest fad, you should put them to sleep on their front'

• 'You make her nap too much, she won't learn anything'. I tried to explain the benefits of a 3 month old napping, but it fell on deaf ears.

Next?

BTW - SMIL and FIL dont ever go to church!

My MIL and StepFIL are fab

Good lord people, just because someone raised a child it does not mean they are incapable of saying stupid things. Is everyone who has raised a child the perfect parent?!

No. And everyone who has raised a son is not the incompetent idiot from hell.

Kungfupannda Not saying they are. But the fact she raised my DH does not mean her views on parenting are in accordance with mine (or a lot of other peoples).

No burps it's just the fact that your whiping the anti MIL crowd up you'd think your own mothers were godesses or that you have never said anything stupid yourself.
Your working yourself up due to two little things your MIL get a grip!

I am far from perfect and no doubt will be an annoying MIL in 25 years time. But this is a light hearted thread FFS. Why the thread bashing??

I am lucky i have it from both extremes, StepMIL is a PITA and MIL is a lovely DMIL

allnightlong I could list about 50 more things for you. Those were merely two examples.

Then by all means moan about her. Post about her. Get sympathy about her.

But I think it is a bit off to invite people to specifically weigh in and have a go at MILs as though no-one else ever says anything daft, or as though DILs are always right and reasonable. very unfair.

Allnightlong You are making some massive assumptions there. I really wish my mother was still alive and I knew that. You need to get a grip and lighten up a little.

Babies were weaned at 4 months when my oldest son was a baby, and BLW was just "giving them banana". Oh, and I put both mine in their own rooms after a few days weeks because there was no advice to the contrary

I totally understand that advice changes, but surely when that is explained to them, they should understand.

My MIL had similar ideas about putting baby down for a sleep. But that was the advice she was given when hers were small. My mum had another lot of info (had all changed in the 8 years between DP's birth and my own) and both of their views on how babies should be lay down, fed and generally taken care of were different to mine and often to eachother.

It's no one's fault the advice has all changed in all these years- no doubt my own DD will be shrieking at me in years to come "no mum! don't lie the baby down at the bottom of the cot! don't you know anything? it's so dangerous you know!"

Mind you my gran had a rare moment of clarity first time I was pregnant. "what do'ya mean your MIL thinks you should use terry nappies? You've got better things to do than even more washing, not to mention the shit scraping you'll have to do! I'd have sold my soul not to have dealt with that with my 3. Nothing would have got done if we'd had a telly back then you know!" Aww I love my gran she never gave a single bit of parenting advice other than to "never wish it all away coz time goes by so quick and before you know it you miss them all".

Nah - I agree burps. My mum is very good at not questioning things I do and only offering advice when asked. It is a good model to follow, I think

burps about your mum

my MIL said exactly the same as saffys gran about the terry nappies!

I assumed that this was a light hearted thread...

My MIL insists that DH never ever had a toddler tantrum (although she does admit that this is because he was too scare of her...). After 4 hours with a very tantrummy DD on holiday (away from home, illness, tired all combined into one tantrumfest) she told me ... that it was my fault because it was the way I was "training" DD.

Then she told me (repeatedly) that DD behaviour made her suicidal.

Which made me incredibly sad for us all to be honest.

I am constantly puzzled though that PIL raised my lovely DH given their take on parenting - he is so lovely I can't reconcile it with them. DH says its because he raised himself and learnt to emotionally distance himself them from an early age. Am not sure if he is joking.

Burp - I think there are a few posters with the post christmas blues on this thread and I get where you're coming from. Although it was not my MIL who used to give me her little pearls of wisdom on child-rearing but my own dear mum!

I can't remember most of them now but she really used to wind me up with her 'in my day we would...'
She always gave my DC's warm sugary tea in a bottle when they were babies despite me asking her not to. Mind you she used to give the dog a nice cup of tea every morning too!

Oh and MIL told me once that it would be less harmful to give a 6 mo alcohol than to swear in front of them (I think I said sh!t).

As difficult as my relationship with my MIL is, she hasn't offered any unwanted or ridiculous parenting advice so far at all. In fact she's been really rather nice around DD.

She did come out with a cracker the other weekend though (we're about to have DC2 - hopefully at home):

Said with condescending and superior tone: "Oh DIL, home births just don't happen in the real world, they are a fairy tale"

If I didn't know better I'd have directed her immediately to MN to put her straight!

Oh yeah My DP and his sister never had a single tantrum, never napped during the day past 12 months old, ate everything put in front of them, potty trained by 18 months old even at night, sat up by 4 months, crawling at 6 months, walking at 10 months... You get the picture. All these helpful ancedotes were ofcourse brought up when DD didn't comply with MILs timeline.

Was never in a major hurry to get DD doing all this stuff myself. Once they start walking you have to run after them, once they stop napping you lose your do-fuck-all-time in the afternoons etc. If they aren't at all fussy eaters you have to share that takeaway with them after all...

The sad thing is that I think that its highly likely that DH didn't ever had a tantrum. I really do think he was too scared.

MIL gave me a nice parenting anecdote about how she broke his spirit when he was 10 months old and then didn't have a moments bother from that moment on.

To be honest it all makes me more proud that DH is a great dad. I was lucky in that my folks are great role models but he has done it with terrible role models. I keep telling DH that he has broken the cycle with his parenting and that is something to be proud of