Stupid things MIL have said about raising children

[burps]

Probably not the right place for it, but never mind. Thought it would be interesting to share the above;

• 'Putting them to sleep on their back, well that is just the latest fad, you should put them to sleep on their front'

• 'You make her nap too much, she won't learn anything'. I tried to explain the benefits of a 3 month old napping, but it fell on deaf ears.

Next?

StepMIL also potty trained her son at 11mo and cant understand why my 18mo isnt trained yet.

I told her it was coz she couldnt be arsed to wash terry nappies anymore - and she agreed!

MrsGee that is so sad 'breaking his spirit'

My MIL was a pest, loathed my breastfeeding. However it perversely worked for the best, she was so determinee to see me fail that I carried on through the pain and the constant feeding for the first few weeks to spite her.

When DD's father fucked off with another woman when she was only weeks old XMIL blamed it on the breastfeeding.

i was 17, post natal, motherless, in a state and her son had buggered off with someone else. The miserable old cow.

Luckily my MIL now is an absolute star and I love her very much, not all MIL's are mad.

GetOrf isn't it ... at 10 months old. I could honestly cry for his childhood and I am pretty sure she did everything with the belief it was for the best. I think she is an advocate of fairweather parenting. She loves DD when it suits her but if DD doesn't want to cuddle her which is often) then its all her.

She can undermine you so much you can't think straight, I'd never let DD be with her unsupervised because I worry she could break her confidence / spirit in a few hours of sniping. FIL is simply inappropriate so no unsupervised contact there...

at your first MIL though, that is horrible. I can't understand how some people can justify their own viciousness and stupidity. I do like your bf out of sheer spite though (its how I named my DD, MIL inspired. Spite is powerful!).

Glad MIL now is lovely though. Perhaps my next one will be nice

*sorry, then its all about her (poor nanny etc.)

I've had "babies need sugar", "never wake a sleeping baby", "why do you do all this talking to him, my 3 did exactly what I told them when I told them". Yes because your ex-husband beat the living crap out of them.

Glad to see this has got a little more light-hearted; surely the way the OP intended it? My Mil (who is lovely, if bonkers) told me DS1 was too much too quiet as a baby, I'm sure it was because he was just happy. She has also given DS1 (5) and DS2 (3) chewing gum -then denied it when they grassed her up

As mutznutz says, advice changes and yes it's a miracle we have survived. Also re: the dripping story, mil has a point if you think of the hidden fats in biscuits etc. At least it's an honest unprocessed fat iyswim!! Less fat down the drain, so eco friendly. And very tasty salivates
Just a thought, does anyone fear being a mil and being judged and labelled as The Unforgiven ?

all 4 of my kids slept on thier fronts and still do.

Is it just mothers of boys who say silly things then?

am amazed at the reactions to this thread - there are always so many MIL posts on AIBU I was thinking only the other day there ought to be a separate forum for them! Of course they are not all monsters but it is usually a tricky dynamic and its unsurprising it doesn't always work well. My MIL is amazing and step mother in law is great with DS but she wound me up hugely at the weekend by telling me quite flatly that she and FIL hate the place where DP and I live "with a passion" and she cannot understand why we want to stay there - its a lovely quiet village with a school, drs, shop and playgroups etc. She hates the fact you have to get in a car most days or that you have to walk off road to go for more than a short walk. All of which is fine but is it not staggeringly rude to SAY it? She is also completely ignoring what I have said to her about wanting to avoid pink stuff for my expected DD and doing making stuff in pink anyway which puts me in that horrible position of being genuinely grateful for the effort but loathing the result and not wanting it. She did this with DS too, made things for his nursery without consulting us re colour etc. Anyway, phew, feel better now. As you were....

Mine's got an annoying habit of being right about most stuff to do with my kids. I have scoffed at things she's said to me and had to swallow my pride and admit she was right quite a few times.

I fear the day I ever become one!

Luckily I have a DD so shouldn't have the MIL problem unless I have another

I think the MIL / DIL relationship is a difficult one anyway and with children its easy for both sides to get slightly bonkers sensitive. I got on ok with my MIL until the moment I had DD and I am sure she feels the same. I am sure she thinks I am over protective and odd and I have some strange need to protect DD from her. She was a bit grasping keen to help when DD was born when I needed time to bond with her myself and I found that so hard I don't think we really recovered. Its easier to take slights to heart, whereas if its my own mum I shrug it off.

I think its made worse by the fact that many daughters get closer to their own mums after having children so its a bit of a double whammy for the MILs.

MadamDeathStare, I did that.

It gets worse, for my second baby I LAMINATED my crappy artwork.

i get on fine with my mil,drives you potty sometimes as does fil but my prents are both gone,however mil has a harder time with her own dd and her ds`s wife but i find her hard to get on with too,she was ok until her a bil got married and had 1st child,she got what she wanted and now avoids the family as much as she can.

Maybe people don't realise that their own mothers are batty! It is just that they meet their MIL as an adult that it shows up. I am positive that having boys doesn't make you any sillier than having girls!
I think there ought to be a place for MILs to have a good old moan about DIL,I am sure they would give lots of laughs!

Unfortunately my MIL is a much better parent than me

She did have one good one when I was complaining about the difficulty of dealing with DD's dairy allergy...

Me: ..and it's hard to cook a variety of meals with no dairy in them
MIL: ooh, you could do macaroni cheese!
Me: ...
MIL: What?

My mum, however, is pretty much the go-to girl for unwanted wacky parenting advice

Even if you have DD's you could still end up with a DIL. My mum always assumed she'd have 3 son-in-laws and 1 daughter-in-law but instead has 4 son-in-laws

My MIL has come out with some corkers:-
"Is that baby monitor 2-way? Can ds hear us too?" Umm no, that would make it rather pointless!
And on a car journey when ds was crying for a feed (because MIL had delayed us leaving despite knowing we needed to get back in time for me to feed him) suggested that i just got him out of his car seat and fed him in the moving car - i was not amused!!!
But she is lovely and she adores ds so i bite my tongue a lot of the time at the silly things she says.

MadamDeathStare and Humphrey Cobbler - I made mine into little cubes which I sellotaped together and hung from his bouncer The boy couldn't have cared less, and went back to staring at the wall.......

My DMIL is also loopy but great, and swore that how we raised her DGS was up to us but every now and then she just can't help herself and I have to quickly suppress a grin.

I think that so long as they mean well, and don't take offense they'd see the funny side too (they had MILs in their turn as well!)

I hope I can be as good when it's my turn.

I think the difference with my mother and my mother in law is, with my mum I know I can say what the hell I like back to her and she wont be offended, and she wont judge me either. my MIL on the other hand complained she was offended that she had to step over 'things' - toys - when she came to babysit while hubby was away once. I have had Severe PND for the last two years for a number of very obvious reasons and she has NEVER EVER offered me any support or help she just ignores it, and has told me outright, it is my job to look after the house and the kids and its DH job to earn money simple as that! I can probably count the number of times shes ever been to this house. yet since FIL died we spend most weekends there, and she told my SIL she never see's us arrgghhh! infuriating! fortunately shes in NZ until march so I am a happy bunny for a while

MadameDeathStare: "Do everything a bit faster" - made me laugh and laugh. Bless your MIL for the straight face. I bet she's thinking "who's laughing now" ....
(Btw your twins sound hilarious - I just read about them debating your death).

your MIL has been there done it and got the t shirt - you are just starting out.Don't be so arrogant!
And very likely in another 20 yrs all todays advice will have been turned on its head

I had a MIL conspicious by her absence poor DH.

My Auntie on the other hand... the one that immediately comes to mind is when she told me I should tie my 8mth old DD to a chair leg whilst sat on a potty to 'get her used to it'