To be pee'd off DD is not invited to friends wedding

[Kentmummy]

DH and I have been invited to a good friends wedding in feb. We live in Kent and wedding is in Scotland. DH has been asked to be an usher.
The bride and groom are good friends and we were very excited to be going... Until they said no children were invited.
I appreciate this is their wedding and I understand the no children policy if it was down to numbers but our DD is only 9 weeks old so won't cost them a penny or take up a seat. I said I'd sit at the back of the church and leave immediately as soon as she made the smallest noise.
They have refused.... The problem is I'm breast feeding so I can't leave her for the day and night as she would starve and my boobs would burst!
I've tried to give her a bottle so I can go and leave her with family but she just won't take it.
As DH is an usher he still has to go but without me... Also means we have to travel to Scotland so I can sit in a hotel while DH is at wedding.
AIBU to be pretty pissed off and think they are being a bit mean?

Sounds like a fun affair!

Fair enough if it included the food - and I'm guessing it wasn't sausage rolls and pineapple and cheese on sticks! Did they honestly not twig that it was a wedding - or did they just think wahey, free food and booze?! Cheeky buggars!

Put it this way I did not have an understated frock in an every day colour on, the big white meringue would have been hard to miss along with 6 blokes in full morning dress.

Rocky, it's not gatecrashing, that's what people need to know if they think they can control who comes in and out of a church service.

Something to bear in mind on April 29th - hmm, how will that work?

April 29th? I'm lost.

Wills and Waity-No-More Katy

dont go! simple, be nice about and say unfortunately we cant leave the baby, simple

i think that ALL weddings have to be 'open to the public' anyway, thinking about it some more - isn't that to allow any objections? otherwise someone who has a legitimate reason to stop the wedding could be stopped from entering & an illegal wedding take place.

and it used to be quite normal for 'extras' to pop in, when i got married in the church where i grew up, all sorts of old neighbours, friends of my parents etc turned up just for the church, to see me get married. this idea that it's some kind of private thing is actually completely the reverse of the point of getting married - ie it HAS to be witnessed to be legal.

hence, a vicar hinting that the ceremony could be stopped if people are being kept out.

the reception is completely different.

It is right that it is illegal to prevent anyone witnessing a church wedding. But really, who in their right minds would insist on attending a wedding when they weren't invited? Can you imagine the thread in AIBU?

"My sister brought her 6 children to our wedding when we had requested no children and when we asked her to take them out she said that they had every right to be there since that is the law. AIBU to be very angry with her?"

We had univited guests at our v small wedding...see my earlier post. Turned out very well.

Kungfoo, you talked earlier about views on this being polarised. I don't think it's a s simple in this case.

I'm always the one on these threads saing YABU to the mother who wants to take her kids but I think the big unreasonable thing is that they've asked him to be an usher without thinking what an awful position they are putting him in by not allowing his BF newborn to come too exp when it's 100s of miles away!

They must know the OP couldn't leave the baby or at least that it was very unlikely. If they had any decency and were absolutely adament about the rule they should have said,
' Dear KM's DH, we'd love you to be an usher at our wedding. Unfortunately, we have decided it will be completely child free without exception. We understand this means both you and KM are unlikely to manage but on the off chance that you can still make it and do us the honour of being an usher, please let us know. We hope you understand and we, in turn will understand if you cannot make it'.

It's the fact that they have given the situation no consideration which is unreasonable. No way would DH go and it really would effect my friendship. Not becauyse they don't want children there (their choice) but because they are being inconsiderate.

Interesting that people describe it as the best day of a couples life -- it seems weddings are more important than the marriage that follows!
I simply wouldnt go !
I am I the only one who finds weddings about as interesting as paint drying .

My cousin is getting married at christmas and its in a massive big victorian house (gorgeous) in Chester - we are in east yorkshire so a little travelling. But we have being told No Children AT ALL. Il ask my dad to have them ateotd its their day.