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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Took monitor out of DS 3.8 room. Am I too early?

78 replies

WannabeNigella · 03/01/2011 19:33

I kind of know (hope) I'm not but need some reassurance.

DS is 3.8yrs and had baby monitor in room till now but we have another dc due in a couple of months and we want to use monitor for them so I've took it out of DS's room tonight so it isn't a straight swap if you know what I mean.

He would get me if he wanted me but sometimes in the middle of the night if he wants something he just softly repeats my name over and over and I won't hear it without monitor and I feel guilty.

First night tonight!

OP posts:
Serendippy · 03/01/2011 19:35

YANBU to take out the monitor, he can get you if he needs you. YAB a bit PFB but this will soon disappear with the arrival of No 2! Sleep tight Grin

mutznutz · 03/01/2011 19:36

Nah, parents have managed for thousands of years without monitors. I know it's a bit odd once you're used to them but it sounds about the right age to me. I'm sure he'll learn to get louder and LOUDER (lol) if he needs you in the night Smile

RhinestoneReindeerHerder · 03/01/2011 19:37

I stopped using a monitor with mine once they were loud enough to hear without one, think sometime before 6 months both times. But my house is not large and is 70s so walls are breezeblock...

midori1999 · 03/01/2011 19:37

YANBU. I didn't have baby monitors with any of mine at all.

stickersarecurrency · 03/01/2011 19:38

It's fine. My DS is younger and we haven't used the monitor since he was around 2, certainly not since he was out of the cot. Within a night or two it'll feel normal :)

Serendippy · 03/01/2011 19:38

Want to add, I have never had the monitor on at night as house is not massive, baby on same level and we would therefore hear if she screamed. Just have it on when we are downstairs with tv or radio on.

RhinestoneReindeerHerder · 03/01/2011 19:38

Oh and we only used one when we were downstairs, as upstairs our bedrooms are right next to each other and you can hear without one. I can wake up for DS whispering 'mummy' at 3am (worse luck)

Original poster
WannabeNigella · 03/01/2011 19:39

Eeeeeeeek someone has said I am a bit "PFB" had hoped I had avoided that but seems the time has come! Smile

Thank you for your quick responses!

OP posts:
IAPJJLPJ · 03/01/2011 19:40

I gather he is in a bed? He will either yell or you will have a little visitor if you don't go to him.

My ds2 is 3.9yrs and has "coped" for a very long time without a monitor. Basically since he went into a bed and I was worried he would get out, play with the cord and wrap it round his neck (PSB alert Blush )

AuntiePickleBottom · 03/01/2011 19:40

i only used mine when it's the summer and i am out the garden (can't hear her otherwise) dd is 19 months old.

spidookly · 03/01/2011 19:41

He's nearly 4, of course it's OK. I think that's quite late to still use one.

Our dds are 22 months apart, so that's when we swapped. Was no probs. Toddlers (or in your case, children :o) have ways of letting you know if they need you.

curlymama · 03/01/2011 19:42

I think in your case if your ds has become used to being able to get your attention with a monitor, then it's ok for you to be a little worried. Smile

Did you explain to him that now he's a big boy he doesn't need the baby thing anymore and what he should do if he needs you?

PhishFoodAddiction · 03/01/2011 19:43

YANBU...

I stopped using the monitor when DD1 was about 4 months and never bothered with it for DD2! I could hear them well enough, especially when they got old enough to talk and then it was 'mummy' 'mummy' 'MUMMEEEEE'! Not a chance of them going unheard. Grin

PinkIceQueen · 03/01/2011 19:43

3.8yrs? OMG! Nuff said lol.

usualsuspect · 03/01/2011 19:45

I never used a baby monitor..mine always had big enough mouths so you could hear them any where ...

Original poster
WannabeNigella · 03/01/2011 19:46

Curly, never even gave it a thought to explain but will do that tomorrow.

Took it out now as didn't want him to think he was being ignored when next dc appears.

I kind of now he's old enough etc but I think I'm at the stage it's been there so long I'm panicking more iyswim.

OP posts:
PollyMorfic · 03/01/2011 19:49

Seriously? If a healthy 3yo needs something in the night, he's quite capable of shouting loud enough for you to hear him, assuming you don't live in a stately home, or keep your child in a shed in the garden.

We never had monitors, and live in a three-storey house. If they're really crying, you hear it anyway. If they're just grumbling to themselves, you're better off not hearing it anyway.

curlymama · 03/01/2011 19:56

Don't worry about it, you know he will be fine really! You have done the right thing by taking it away now. I think it would be worth explaining to him, but only if he uses it alot. Otherwise it might just be nice to explain to him how grown up he is and all that sort of thing while you still have lots of time before the new baby arrives. You can make this stuff into a big positive deal just to encourage his self esteem, not because it's actually neccesary. If he gets your attention in the way you ask him too when he needs to, you can praise him for that.

backwardpossom · 03/01/2011 20:03

Crumbs, we've never used a monitor. And we live in a rather large house but we still manage to hear him...

greenbananas · 03/01/2011 20:11

Should be okay, I would have thought. I think curlymama is right about explaining to him. He's old enough to understand and to be proud of himself for being okay without it. Also old enough to shout or come and find you if he needs you.

My step-dad is very fond of telling me that he never used a monitor when his children were small. Also he tells me that eldest step-sister once climbed out of her cot and fell all the way down the stairs before he and his ex-w noticed she was awake Hmm

I like monitors - they allow me to eavesdrop on 2 year old DS when he is pottering around upstairs practising his talking Smile

earwicga · 03/01/2011 20:15

I didn't use baby monitors. But considering your child uses it as reassurance, by softly saying mummy over and over (which I think is cool as if he really needed you he would shout or get out of bed), I would of left it in and bought another one.

pigletmania · 03/01/2011 20:23

Should have been taken out ages ago, 3.8 years Shock. If he really wants you he will make himself known i am sure. Use it for your new dc, and dont buy another one!

princesspuds · 03/01/2011 21:23

My dd is 6 and I still use my baby monitor as she is disabled, unable to walk and sleeps downstairs whilst we are upstairs in a fairly large house which is also quite old so difficult to hear her yelling.

I think it is up to the individual, there isn't any right or wrong time, just when the parents feel happy and comfortable with it Grin

MilliONaire · 03/01/2011 21:29

we never used a monitor but I do know someone who has a 4yr old and 2.5yr old & she has 2 monitors for them - one each side of the bed and they live in the tiniest house ever - there is NO way she they wouldn't hear them calling, the bedrooms are side by side. Mad!

ll31 · 03/01/2011 22:00

never had monitor so imo yanbu...