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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread my sons getting married...

73 replies

tubsywubsy · 02/01/2011 21:36

....as judging by the many mother in law threads on aibu, my daughters in law are more than likely to hate me.
My own MIL was lovely. Sure she had her foibles, but don't we all?
I appreciate that some MILs may be particularly difficult, but I do worry about the levels of hatred that I see on so many threads.
Please assure me that being the mother of sons does not automatically make me a harridan!

OP posts:
SugarMousePink · 02/01/2011 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummyosaurus · 02/01/2011 21:38

You sound very thoughtful and like you will be a lovely MIL.

I get on well with my MIL, better than my mum really.

CrispyTheChristmasCracker · 02/01/2011 21:39

Mine is as mad as a box of frogs, but you sound quite sane Wink

heymango · 02/01/2011 21:40

I worry about this too, but I'm sure if you don't meddle in their business, criticise their parenting or have diva strops about wanting your son back, it can all be fine.

I hope so anyway.

Oh, and offer lots of babysitting!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/01/2011 21:41

If you dread it it will come....

Seriously...don't stress...most MILS are fine. Their DILS aren't on here saying so though.

daretodream · 02/01/2011 21:41

My MIL is lovely. She hears from and sees her DS (my DH) MUCH more often now than before we were married.

Especially now we have kids, I am always inviting her and my FIL (they are so brill with the DC's, an excellent childcare choice Wink)

Don't panic!

ilovemyhens · 02/01/2011 21:41

You only really get to hear about the bad ones Hmm

My MIL is great and 100% than my own mother Grin

JaneS · 02/01/2011 21:41

I think MN posters are a self-selecting group: people only post when they have problems! I love my MIL very much, and I think that is the norm really. It's just I wouldn't think to post about it!

JodiesMummy · 02/01/2011 21:41

YANBU! I dont have any sons so I am not worried about Daughters in Law but I know Im going to be every teenage boy's worst nightmare - I know all the tricks and NOTHING will get past me.

AMumInScotland · 02/01/2011 21:41

The thing with MILs on MN is that the ones you hear about are mostly going to be the difficult ones. It's like you don't get many threads in Health saying "My children are all fine and healthy" - people start a thread about a problem 95% of the time. In AIBU that probably goes up to 100% Grin.

stillbobbysgirl · 02/01/2011 21:41

I am hoping that at least one is gay and that the other will marry an orphan!

Tee2072 · 02/01/2011 21:42

I have no problems with my totally insane nice MIL.

And I think my mother is an OK MIL.

Really, just let your boys go, accept that they will have other women in their lives, and you'll be fine.

borderslass · 02/01/2011 21:43

In a way I'm glad that DS will probably never get married.SMIL is lovely both DH and I wish his mother was like her.I've told DH that if and when DD's get married that if I behave like his mother he has permission to shoot me Grin

Original poster
tubsywubsy · 02/01/2011 21:46

Well, that seems to have redressed the balance. Feeling better already...

OP posts:
Lonnie · 02/01/2011 21:49

I love my mil to pieces.. I think my dh drew the short straw with regards to MIL's thankfully we have a country boarder between us and her

lagrandissima · 02/01/2011 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FudgeGirl · 02/01/2011 21:50

My MIL is quite odd but I do really like her - considering the upbringing DP had, I'm amazed he still sees his parents, but things are better between them now. Although we don't see them that often, it's all ok.

My DP adores my mum and vice versa, they are only eight years different in age, my mum says if we ever split up she'd snap him up (she's joking, but they do adore each other). He calls her mummy to freak her out.

I wouldn't worry, be accepting of your sons' choices and you won't go wrong.

Ingles2 · 02/01/2011 21:51

I am going to be a bloody fantastic MIL
as long as Dil does what I say!
Wink

WilfShelf · 02/01/2011 21:51

I have worked it all out (3 boys):

  1. Make sure you have enough in your life not to glue yourself to your sons like a sad desperate limpet
  1. But make sure you live near enough to offer to babysit frequently
  1. Bite your lip with any girlfriends and make sure you lavish her with shopping trips (god I can't wait for that, with all these MEN in the house!)
  1. Do not be a nutter. Hmm. Think I may fail this last one...
JodiesMummy · 02/01/2011 21:53

My own MIL isnt too bad, she does get her own way a lot because she is the only woman in an all male household but due to this she is always very chatty and friendly because she enjoys having a girl to talk to.

Sometimes I still want to kill her though.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 02/01/2011 21:54

My MIL was rather indulged by her parents as an only child, and then by her adoring DH - consequently she is rather disinterested in any of our DCs (her only grandchildren) or DH or myself for that matter, but seems to think that her health-related woes are of great interest to us.

I have vowed to show far more interest in my future grandchildren (without becoming a pita hopefully!) and to never, ever discuss my bowels/the foods that I can and can't eat/my sex life/vaginal polyps with my future DILs

charliesmommy · 02/01/2011 21:56

I adore my MIL, she says I am the daughter she never had, and since my mum died 2 years ago, she has been closer than ever to me.

I would be lost without her.

Me and her gang up on my hubby all the time. Grin

lazylula · 02/01/2011 21:59

I have 2 mil's (dh's parents divorced when he was young). Both are lovely in their own ways, Dh's mum is lovely, really plays with the children but is not interfering in any way but will give advice when asked or in general conversation. Step mil is too 'nice' to be horrible, iygwim. I hope I make a good mil.

mamatomany · 02/01/2011 21:59

My MIL was rather indulged by her parents as an only child, and then by her adoring DH - consequently she is rather disinterested in any of our DCs (her only grandchildren) or DH or myself for that matter, but seems to think that her health-related woes are of great interest to us.

I have vowed to show far more interest in my future grandchildren (without becoming a pita hopefully!) and to never, ever discuss my bowels/the foods that I can and can't eat/my sex life/vaginal polyps with my future DILs

We have the same MIL, well DH is an only child but Christ the thought that there are 2 of them is frightening.

Ingles2 · 02/01/2011 22:00

awwwww that's lovely Charliesmommy
in all serious, that's what I'm hoping for...