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AIBU?

Or rather is Huband BU to send 10 month old to nursery on day off

149 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 02/01/2011 20:42

DS 10 months goes to nursery for 1 1/2 days a week. TBH I didn't want him to go until a year but had to go back to work sooner financially. DH knows this has upset me.

DS is fine at nursery but I would rather he was at home.

Anyway DH is off this week and I want DS to stay at home, however DH thinks we should stick to routine and we have paid for his sesions, and he needs to go to get used to it (even though he has been off nursery for 2 weeks!), AKA DH wants to sit on his bum and watch TV all day!

AT 10 months he doesn't NEED to get used to it...he is to young IMO. To make it worse these 2 weeks he was been soooooo clingy so I know he will hate to be there :(

AIBU only I think DH is being horrid?!!

OP posts:

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roslily · 02/01/2011 21:10

I work 0.5 over two and a half days, but ds goes to CM 3 days. It is planned that way. I love my afternoon off each week it keeps me sane. I hate the school holidays when I don't get it.

And my ds went to CM at 6 months as I had to work, didn't do him any harm!

roslily · 02/01/2011 21:10

I work 0.5 over two and a half days, but ds goes to CM 3 days. It is planned that way. I love my afternoon off each week it keeps me sane. I hate the school holidays when I don't get it.

And my ds went to CM at 6 months as I had to work, didn't do him any harm!

JarethTheGoblinKing · 02/01/2011 21:10

perhaps the OP doesn't have much of a choice in terms of childcare (I certainly don't).

NotAnotherNewNappy · 02/01/2011 21:12

YABU

Send him and use the time to go on a date (lunch & cinema?) or do something constructive that you can't do when he's around(DIY?).

Then pick him up a bit earlier than usual, so that you're easing him back into his routine.

My nursery nurse told me that the more parents fuss over sending DC to nursery, the more unsettled the children are when they're there. It's not a bad place that he is being forced to go to, it's fun and your DS should look forward to going!

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 02/01/2011 21:13

Nooooooooooooooooooo! AIBU AKA always side with mum please!!

Hang on he has had 14 days off sitting on his back side being waited on hand and foot!

DS is teething and has a cold and TBH just wants cuddles.

DH just wants another day on the xbox.

I agree DS does need consistancy but can't that start on Wednesday?!

OP posts:

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 02/01/2011 21:14

And I have to work that day. So I won't be there.

OP posts:

cunexttuesonline · 02/01/2011 21:14

If I am off work then I keep DS off nursery (unless I am off due to illness). However, if DH is off work - which he is lots due to shift work, then DS still goes to nursery.

TheMonster · 02/01/2011 21:14

YABU. I would have sent him too if I was your DH.

cookielove · 02/01/2011 21:18

i'm sorry but i still don't believe your dh is being unreasonable, i think your son needs to attend nursery, to get back into his routine, and postponing it will not help, even if it just one day.

14 days off, so he did nothing for 14 days, really? i find that very odd

McGinger · 02/01/2011 21:18

I would put him into nursery too if it was me.

In fact I have booked a days annual leave when DS will be at school, DD will be at the childminders and I have booked myself into the hairdressers and to get my nails done!

Granted I will pick DS up from school and then get DD early from the childminders, but I am so looking forward to my wee day on my own!

CrispyTheChristmasCracker · 02/01/2011 21:18

DD's still go to CM if we are off. I perpetually have SO much to do I can't imagine any other way tbh. Last year we took them to the CM and then went sledging - DD1 HATED the snow with a vengeance and DD2 would have got cold in her buggy. We have no family close so was our only opportunity to enjoy the snow.

CrispyTheChristmasCracker · 02/01/2011 21:19

Oh, YABU BTW. Let your DH have his day on the sofa and maybe he will have more sympathy when you need a rest

Bogeyface · 02/01/2011 21:21

But why put it off for a day and lose a days money in what you have paid them?

He needs to get used to being back, you need to get used to him being there and it wouldnt hurt your DH to have a day alone. Get it over with!

I understand that this isnt your choice, that you didnt want him at nursery yet but he is at nursery and you would be doing yourself a favour by accepting that rather than doing everything you can to keep him away.

Sorry but I think the problem is your attitude to nursery rather than your DH wanting a day alone. Is there anyway you can change your hours or job if it is bothering you that much? Would you be entitled to any tax credits that would mean you may be able to give up work for the time being? Could you cut back all non essentials for a year or so until you are ready to go back?

TattyDevine · 02/01/2011 21:21

"Hang on he has had 14 days off sitting on his back side being waited on hand and foot"
"DH just wants another day on the xbox"

How are we supposed to know this? AIBU by stealth, give us the full story.

You just sound shrewish and unreasonable unless you give a compelling reason why you and your DH should both give up a day's leave AND pay nursery fees to cuddle a teething baby all day when someone else is willing to keep him happy and occupied.

iloveyankees · 02/01/2011 21:22

I would send him too imo especially if the sessions have already been paid for plus as others have said it will be good to get him back into a routine :)

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 02/01/2011 21:22

cookielove well I guess he played on the playstation too......

OP posts:

TattyDevine · 02/01/2011 21:22

Who waited on him hand and foot?

Perhaps that person could wait on your child hand and foot too? Or was it you? Why did you wait on him hand and foot?

We need more info.

BornInTheLGI · 02/01/2011 21:23

YANBU (am I really the only one who thinks this?)

If there is a parent at home, a ten month old does not need to go to nursery. How about your husband use it as a time to do something enjoyable with his son?

TattyDevine · 02/01/2011 21:23

Also, is it likely that if you are not there and he is, with child, he will play the xbox regardless, and the child will be better off and more adequately cared for at nursery?

cookielove · 02/01/2011 21:24

lucky him

MisSalToeKisses · 02/01/2011 21:24

YABU. I would send him and ask dh to collect him a bit earlier, so that the return to nursery a bit gradual.

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 02/01/2011 21:27

I would cut the plug on it if I thought he would do that!

Ok.....I'll come clean.....

He did have an operation

He is fine now though!

And yes, it was me who waited on him, and I haven't stopped for 14 days, have 2 children so xmas has been non-stop. I have done all days, nights, early mornings, made dinner, lunch, breakfast, cooked, cleaned blar blar, driven everywhere, not had a drink.
He is fighting fit now, back to work Wed, so I am a bit pissed off at his attitude TBH.

OP posts:

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FattyArbuckel · 02/01/2011 21:30

Your ds is teething, has a cold and is clingy. Dh should look after him at home imo, no question. YANBU

BoysAreLikeDogs · 02/01/2011 21:30

It's kinder to keep the baby in routine

And the stealth reveal is always annoying

Bogeyface · 02/01/2011 21:30

So it is very unfair of you to have a go at him sitting on his arse when he was recovering from an op! Talk about not telling the full story!

I still think his attitude isnt the problem.

You want to be at home with DS and cant so you expect him to want to do the same and get pissed off when he doesnt. I would want a day to myself to get my head together after a holiday of not being able to do much, and being stuck in the house with the same 2 people. Not insulting you or DS at all, but I get cabin fever with my lot here and will relish Weds, when they are all back to work and school and I can have a few hours peace!

Can you honestly say that this isnt even a little bit to do with you being jealous that your DH could have a day with DS and you cant?

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