DS 10 months goes to nursery for 1 1/2 days a week. TBH I didn't want him to go until a year but had to go back to work sooner financially. DH knows this has upset me.
DS is fine at nursery but I would rather he was at home.
Anyway DH is off this week and I want DS to stay at home, however DH thinks we should stick to routine and we have paid for his sesions, and he needs to go to get used to it (even though he has been off nursery for 2 weeks!), AKA DH wants to sit on his bum and watch TV all day!
AT 10 months he doesn't NEED to get used to it...he is to young IMO. To make it worse these 2 weeks he was been soooooo clingy so I know he will hate to be there :(
AIBU only I think DH is being horrid?!!
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AIBU?
Or rather is Huband BU to send 10 month old to nursery on day off
149 replies
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 02/01/2011 20:42
OP posts:
OracleOfDelphinium ·
03/01/2011 19:55
Thanks, Bobbie and Teela!
Stangirl, thanks for the clarification. I didn't mean to get at you personally. 
It sounds as if we both believe that children need to learn independence and sociability - but believe that this happens in very different ways. I personally think that - in order to become sociable, independent people - they need to have an absolutely firm conviction that someone was 'there for them' (ugh) one hundred percent of the time when they were very small. In my view, small children can acquire a veneer of independence and sociability from nursery - but may well be essentially insecure as a result of having been separated from their parent(s) too soon. I know others would disagree with this, and that they could cite hundreds of cases in which my view would not apply.
If I had used childcare when my children were little (fortunately, I didn't have to ), it would have been only because I would have had no choice but to work. I would then have explained that to them later. However, I am not sure it would sit quite so well if I told them that they went to nursery so I could have me-time in the gym and in front of the TV. But there you go! People do things in the way that suits them and their family best, and the really lucky ones are the ones who have the choice about childcare/no childcare.
TattyDevine ·
03/01/2011 20:34
What about me then. I have a 14 month old who goes to nursery once a week for 6 hours, in which time I do fascninating me-time type things such as going to the dentist, having a coil fitted, re-sealing the limestone tiles in the kitchen, and other such wonderfully selfish things that you can't really do with a 14 month in tow. No, I dont have a mum round the corner, a sister 3 streets away or a friend who can "just have them for 2 hours" because they all work.
Will this really "not sit so well" with my kids in years to come Oracle? I'm hoping I will raise them to be a little less judgemental than you are, and therefore that they wont mind so much! Hell, at least I'll have my teeth...though that is rather self indulgent of me... 
OracleOfDelphinium ·
03/01/2011 20:51
Oh, give over with all the 'I need time off to grout the tiles' stuff. Everyone needs time to grout the tiles - but if you have a baby, it's just one of the several zillion things that don't get done until they're at school. Nothing sactimonious about it: that's just the way it is. I have/had no local family either; I have had to take the children to the dentist, doctor and so on, and it's a pain - but that's life (and it does them no harm to know that life is pretty boring, and that there are some circumstances in which they just have to put up with it). That said, I didn't go to the hairdresser's until they were at school.
The OP isn't talking about needing a breather from a gang of marauding squabblers like my own children. She's talking about her husband spending his 'day off' with their 10-month-old baby who has a cold and is teething (when he's already had 14 'days off').
Privet, I would be too at the idea of sitting them down for a talk about the facts of childcare. But it's bound to come up at some point. As for whether they will care less later on: well, it will be interesting to see what they do with their own children.
TattyDevine ·
03/01/2011 21:06
I bet your house is falling to pieces and your teeth are falling out of your face. But as long as you dont have to fear your children not liking you one day 
TattyDevine ·
03/01/2011 21:28
Which essentially means 3 reasonably spaced children might mean you dont have your teeth seen to / get contraception (thus making the problem worse! ), or do any basic household maintenance or repairs for 15 years or more.
Lovely. Meanwhile I suppose men are allowed to play squash in their lunchbreak and, no doubt, shag their secretary if things are a little shaky at home... 
bringmesomeFIGGYpudding ·
03/01/2011 21:45
Tatty
I don't think I can be bothered either! Although I believe that some schools are the best way to introduce your child to childcare, can think of some serious bullying tactics by some little monsters if you have only ever been looked after by your mummy!
OracleOfDelphinium ·
03/01/2011 22:09
Tee hee, that must mean that my children are not 'reasonably spaced', as I certainly didn't spend 15 years without a haircut.
I am bowing out, as this is becoming yet another tedious non-discussion. Obviously, the fact that I think small children are best off at home if possible means that I think that my DH should be secretary-shagging in his lunch hour.
OP: YANBU. Anyway, you and your DH have reached a decision and you're happy with it, so that's great.
I do have lovely teeth, btw. Must be good genes.
tryingtobemarypoppins2 ·
03/01/2011 22:27
Thanks OracleOfDelphinium!
What the bloody hell has happened to MN!
You need a hard hat on every thread now. Your spelling is scrutinised, your post gets a physio analysis, can't post here, can't post there. Posting on mums net is like being a fox on a hunt.....who's going to gun you down first!
(slopes off for a 6 month retreat)
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