Or rather is Huband BU to send 10 month old to nursery on day off

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

DS 10 months goes to nursery for 1 1/2 days a week. TBH I didn't want him to go until a year but had to go back to work sooner financially. DH knows this has upset me.

DS is fine at nursery but I would rather he was at home.

Anyway DH is off this week and I want DS to stay at home, however DH thinks we should stick to routine and we have paid for his sesions, and he needs to go to get used to it (even though he has been off nursery for 2 weeks!), AKA DH wants to sit on his bum and watch TV all day!

AT 10 months he doesn't NEED to get used to it...he is to young IMO. To make it worse these 2 weeks he was been soooooo clingy so I know he will hate to be there :(

AIBU only I think DH is being horrid?!!

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Lazy mayorquimby but not as lazy as my DH

[mayorquimby]

do I really have to list them out again?
or is this exactly like with your dh were you are trying to make an issue where there is none and he's being perfectly reasonable.


see what I did there

[Nagoo]

I think you really need to talk about what it actually is that fucks you off the most and try to deal with that.

It's the nursery, or the laziness, or the driving thing... but it isn't. What is it really?

You need a new thread.

In relationships, not AIBU

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Thanks Nagoo.

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

DH collecting DS at 11:30 on Tuesday. Agreed that one, now I'm off to Relationships Threads, thanks all.

[Nagoo]

[maighdlin]

yabu. i thought like that when DD first went to nursery and i have been off for xmas break but still have sent her in because she has much more fun than sitting at home with me. she has all the other babies around her and they do all sorts of activities with them. Plus its nice to have a day when you can do things without having a toddler/crawler following you around and undoing it all or even just have a lazy time with a cup of tea and gossip girl

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

Stealth reveal, what fun.

Is there an element to drunken stealth reveal here?

[Bogeyface]

This is just another "dont reply unless you agree with me" job.

Total waste of screen space

[darleneconnor]

Oh, did I miss the AIBU fun?

Froom skimming, there seems to be some bigger issues going on in that house...

[scottishmummy]

its nursery not rock breaking.dh is right.you are overstating this.a lot.given your wee one already has precious moments at nursery.without you

[UnderTheRadar2212]

You've paid for the session, child is in a routine of going to nursery on said days, what's the problem?

No problem. It's better for the child really in my view, rather than being stuck at home with a parent resentful that it's there hanging round their heels and having to be looked after, if all they want to do is sit on their bums quietly watching telly or whatever.

At least DS might get some attention/stimulation at nursery.

[echt]

Was just about to say this should be in Relationships, but someone got there first.

While I'm here, I should say my childminder insisted on uninterrupted care of DD in order to establish and maintain a relationship. No I-must-spend-more-quality-time with- my-DD. Not that the OP is saying this.

I had so many half-term holidays, watching TV until square-eyed; shopping, gardening.

I bloody loved it.

OP is unreasonable, as well as doubly so for stealth reveal

[ChippingIn]

YANBU in thinking that DH would be the best person to care for your poorly DS when you can't be there - NU at all.

I have no problem with parents sending children to nursery to have some time by themselves - but babies - not so much, I don't think nurseries are ideal care for babies and would want to minimise the time the baby was there - so if a parent was home, the baby would be too... unless the baby was really happy there and you were really, really desperate for some 'time out' - but as this DH has just had 2 weeks off of work... I think it's pretty shit to send a teething/poorly baby to nursery when he doesn't need to go.

[QuintMissesChristmasesPast]

I would send him. It is good to keep up the routine. Also, if he is clingy, is maybe 1 1/2 day too little? Could you increase to two full days and one afternoon, say monday, wednesday and 1/2 friday?

[OracleOfDelphinium]

I am always baffled by the argument that children who are 'clingy' and don't like being away from home simply need to spend even more time away from home. Why does nobody say that some children are simply better off at home full stop?

[looneytune]

I'm a Childminder and imo it's much better for baby to get back into routine asap, especially at this age. Mindees usually still come to me when parents are off which is better for the child as far as routine goes plus it's easier for me as the longer they are off, the harder it can be to re-settle them (I've had MANY babies to look after, some from as early as 5/8 weeks old and this age can be more tricky with resettling).

And as for the waiting on DH due to his op, I do sympathise as my dh has had 2 operations this year (April & Sept) and I've had 4 under 2/3s to look after daily with 2 more older children before/after school, working 7am-6pm AND also constantly checking dh doesn't need anything, doing everything with my own children too etc. BUT, that shouldn't have anything to do with whether or not your child goes to nursery. Now if you were to say that your child isn't well enough to go and you were both due to work and felt you needed to take time off to look after baby at home then no, he shouldn't go. But I don't think that's quite the case here?

I do understand how you feel but I'm also with your DH I'm afraid.

[Stangirl]

I will be returning to work shortly and putting my 1 year old into nursery 5 days a week. I absolutely intend to take many days off and yet still take LO to nursery. It's important for my sanity to have as much time as I can that is not focussed on LO. I am still a person in my own right and need alone time to sit on my bum and watch Trisha and repeats of Buffy. It has never even occurred to me that some people could consider this bad parenting until I read this thread. If I could have afforded it I would have put LO into nursery from 3 months for a couple of days a week - even before I returned to work. I just don't enjoy non-stop babycare and my LO has responded well to my more laissez faire approach - people are always commenting on what a happy, well-adjusted baby she seems. Honestly - I think you will all be happier if your DH does have his time off to himself.

[ILoveFrogs]

Yabu

I'm off until the 16th, DS's nursery opens on the 5th, he will be sent to nursery his usual 3 days. It's paid for, DS loves nursery and I need a bit of piece and quiet after all the Christmas madness! :o

[OracleOfDelphinium]

Some of the attitudes towards children/babies displayed on this thread are precisely why I stopped looking at MN for six months. The whole 'I don't enjoy babycare' thing just strikes me as so self-centred. I am not a massive fan of babies (I prefer them once they go interactive), but I still don't think mine would have been better off elsewhere at that age. And when you think of the people who are desperate to have children and can't (or, come to that, the people who have no choice but to go back to work when they would prefer to be at home with their children), then the mind boggles that there are people who actually choose to hand their offspring over because they want time to 'sit on their bums and watch Trisha' .

I'd say that this is not 'laissez faire' in the slightest. Calling it 'laissez faire' is in my view just an attempt to put a positive spin on a 'me, me, me' approach to parenting.

[Meglet]

yabu. I send the DC's to nursery when I have a day off work. They get to play with their friends I get to go to the gym then potter about at home in peace.

At least at nursery they don't sit in front of cbeebies, squabble or get shouted at.

[Bobbiesmum]

Oracle I was about to say that your posts are brilliant and Express my feelings that I am too tired to articulate, but then I saw Teela beat me to it!

[Stangirl]

Oh dear, my phrasing doesn't seem to have helped the advice but rather exacerbated an old debate. Rather than just leave my last post hanging I would like to quickly clarify my view.

I decided from day 1 with my DD that I would't be over-protective and would do everything I could to encourage her socialisation and independence. I think those parents who seem permanently joined to their babies and won't leave them alone to experience the world for themselves are the truly "me, me, me" parents. I also want to add that I am one of those people who was "desperate to have children" and was told I couldn't. My DD only happened after several years of trying and a few rounds of IVF and is absolutely adored by myself and her father. But that doesn't mean that I want to subsume my personality entirely into mothering - nor do I consider that a healthy attitude for my DD's own development.

FWIW I have told my DP about this thread and he is entirely supportive of my parenting approach - but he also said that if he had the day off work he wouldn't put LO in nursery and would want to spend the day with her. He is the soppiest Dad in the world though.

[MrsMooo]

YABU and if you're honest you know you are for the countless reasons alreddy given

Send dc to nursery and take the day off yourself and try and deal with the level of resentment you obviously feel towards Your not so DH