Or rather is Huband BU to send 10 month old to nursery on day off

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

DS 10 months goes to nursery for 1 1/2 days a week. TBH I didn't want him to go until a year but had to go back to work sooner financially. DH knows this has upset me.

DS is fine at nursery but I would rather he was at home.

Anyway DH is off this week and I want DS to stay at home, however DH thinks we should stick to routine and we have paid for his sesions, and he needs to go to get used to it (even though he has been off nursery for 2 weeks!), AKA DH wants to sit on his bum and watch TV all day!

AT 10 months he doesn't NEED to get used to it...he is to young IMO. To make it worse these 2 weeks he was been soooooo clingy so I know he will hate to be there :(

AIBU only I think DH is being horrid?!!

[CrispyTheChristmasCracker]

tbh, you sound jealous of his day off, which, having waited on him hand and foot maybe you are entitled to be. However, that still doesn't mean DS should n't go to nursery in my book

Assume the moral high ground (ie: be supportive) and reap the rewards later

[BornInTheLGI]

So how many of you would like to go to work if you had a cold and were teething? This is a 10-month-old baby, fgs! He should be at home with someone who loves him.

[Bogeyface]

Oh and regarding in your OP "I know he will hate to be there"

No you dont. I think you want him to hate it so you can say "I was right, we shouldnt have sent him"

Did your DH put alot of pressure on you return to work before you were ready? Is that part of the reason why you are so angry with him?

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Yes off course I am jealous. I want to give DS loads of cuddles and TLC, I can't so DH is next best thing when I am working. Off course I am jealous.

[SparklyMartini]

OK, a stealth reveal. That does not help your case.

It is hard to see your beloved 10 month old being sent to nursery when you long to be hovering -- but your DS will be fine, it's one day more.

As for your DH being waited on hand and foot for 14 days, I'd say that is a much bigger problem, if it was you doing the waiting (?).

I'd struggle to respect anyone who would wait on their spouse hand and foot for two weeks whilst at the same time bottling up resentment about it and spitefully describing said spouse as sitting on his/her arse.

If you don't want to be a skivvy, then don't be one.

[SparklyMartini]

Oh, xpost I think -- will have to read back but it looks like I missed something about an op, thread moving too fast for me.

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Bloody hell this is getting a bit therepy like Bogeyface! No!
DS is teething badly, going through the don't put me down I want cuddles all the time phase, only mummy and daddy will do when I feel groogy phase. He doesn't have to go to nursery that day, DH is home. So why send him. I would hate being at work with a cold, I can be there, its not unsafe to be, but if I didn't have to be, why go?

[Bogeyface]

Could you look for an evening or weekend job that would help make ends meet and allow you to spend your time with DS? It isnt ideal but as him not being at home is such an issue for you, is there no way around it?

[QueenSconetta]

This will prob go down like a lead balloon but I'll say it anyway... I think it sounds like you're a little bit jealous that you have been busting your ass for the last 2 weeks looking after the family and that he is going to get a day to sit around and do nothing.

I get like this too, like when DP went out with his pals last week, rolled in not-quite-totally steaming at 1.30am, had to get up to look after DD when I went to work, but when I was home early proceeded to sleep on the sofa til her bedtime - was v raging as I don't get the opportunity to a) go out and get steaming with my pals or b) sleep on the sofa - ever, even when I'm ill.

However, while I can see why you feel the way you do I think YABU. If you have paid then I think its important DS goes to nursery, gets more used to it, mixes with other children his own age and is occupied. He will probably not feel as sorry for himself when he is there because he will be occupied doing activies I would have thought. If he really is not well or miserable they will call you to fetch him anyway surely?

I plan to do similar to your DH tomorrow, DD is going to childminder's even though its a bank holiday and I'm not at work because she is funny when she has to go back if her routine is broken (she is 13.5 months.)

[PrincessScrumpy]

Why not compromise with a half day?

My DH works every 3rd Sunday and gets a day off in the week. Usually he has dd at home and looks forward to it but occasionally he's taken her to the CM for a half day. Usually it's so he can help catch up on housework but I suspect the XBox probably gets turned on too!

[Bogeyface]

Well I apologise then!

I am merely trying to ascertain why you feel the way you do and if there is anything that can be done to make you feel better about the situation.

Pardon me for trying to help!

[PotPourri]

Maybe leave a list of chores he can do since he'll have the day to himself - washing, ironing- all possible to while watching tv.

Might be best for ds to go after a big break you know. But how about early collection that day, see it as a settling in day.

BTW, 10 months is a normal 'clingy' time

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

If he was 18 months /2 years old I would agree, but he is 10 months.

My job is amazing re child care. I get 15 weeks off a year. I only work 3 days each week. I bring home a good wage. I would have rather gone back when he was a year but that didn't happen......

Your right I am more pissed off with DH attitude. A thank-you here and there would have been nice!

Half day Tuesday PrincessScrumpy sounds like a plan.

[Lonnie]

OP I w ould give your dh a nice big huge smile and say off course ds should go to the nursery you cant look after whim whilst you are doing (What ever piece of DIY you have needed done for the longest) I totally understand.

that should resolve your resentment towards dh having a day off (having read your last post) and hopefully should make your dh do the DIY and do it fast enough to ensure he gets to spend some time doing what he wants to.

aka evveryone is happy.


Honestly why do you want your ds to be with your dh if he doesnt reaally want him to be there? I would send him


after this I would start on working on the whole "waiting on him hand and foot" as to be honest the only way that can occur is because you do so for him. Treat him like an equal not as a little child to look after

[spidookly]

If he's just recovered from an operation then you are being even more unreasonable than it first seemed.

[lynniep]

NOt read any other answers but IMO:
"AIBU only I think DH is being horrid?!!" - YES you are - he's not being horrid - he's being logical, and he's only human. (Hes probably being lazy too, but that comes under being human - if DS wasnt booked into childcare already and THEN he took him in on his day off THAT would be BU).

Its much fairer on DS to keep up his routine. Its only 1.5 days a week, nothing major, even if it feels like it to you. ( I find dropping off DS2 who is 13 mo unbearable, but I know he's fine, and once he's in there I love the freedom!!)

Its paid for, so use it. I know it doesnt feel like it right now, but there will come a time when you're desperate to drop the kids off!

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

He really does annoy me at the moment. Every time we get home from a morning/afternoon out with the children, he turns on the TV, I unpack all the bags! He doesn't sit with children and watch TV, he watches his own stuff. DS is wanting to play with us and he has one eye on the TV and not listening to DS. I really have had enough these hols. I am putting a ban on TV until after bedtime for the children. Arrrrr!

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Lonnie great idea!

[PartialToACupOfMilo]

I'm afraid I'd send him in too.

I'm back on Wednesday after the Christmas holidays as is my 13 month old who does Wed-Fri at the CM's. DH has Mon and Tues off usually so that we can still both work full time (need to financially). Anyway this week he's managed to have Tuesday and Wednesday off instead of Monday and Tuesday and he will therefore also get a free day when dd's at the CM. I am incredibly jealous, but it's just luck of the draw. DD doesn't go the CM in the school holidays as I'm home and we can't really afford to have her there more than just term time. She has been very very clingy over the break, partly due to teething, partly due to a bad cold (dh had chest infection too so fair few germs flying around) and partly because (I think) mummy is home and boobie's on tap! The sooner they're back into routine the better

[spidookly]

There are women who give their husbands lists of jobs to do on their day off?

If DH gave me a such a list I'd tell him to shove it up his arse.

This is his day off. He's just had an operation. Presumably he'll be with your son and doing jobs for the rest of the week. Why begrudge him one day?

If you are so unhappy with this nursery, perhaps you should find other childcare that your son enjoys?

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

PartialToACupOfMilo another teacher? We are lucky with our hols.....massive respect to you doing full time though!

[OracleOfDelphinium]

I really, really don't get the 'I love the freedom' thing. If you have small children, freedom isn't part of the deal, is it?

Having to send a baby to nursery because you have to work is one thing. Choosing to send a baby to work because you fancy a day to yourself is entirely different. I think you are being completely reasonable. A baby who is teething and has a cold should be at home unless there is a very good reason for him to be elsewhere. Why would a ten-month-old who's feeling fragile want to go and 'socialise with children of his own age'? What he wants is to be cuddled by a parent.

[OracleOfDelphinium]

'to nursery'

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

THANK-YOU OracleOfDelphinium!