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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that it's unfair their aren't clubs solely for boys anymore?

178 replies

notterrysmine · 01/01/2011 21:19

And if there are - please point them out to me.

My children are girly girls and boy boys. No intention on my part, but that is the way it is.

They adore each other, but their friends are of the same sex, they have chosen to go to same sex schools.

Now my girls have done girl guiding - very much for the girls and have thoroughly enjoyed it.

Now my son wants to do scouting, and in his particular group there are higher majority of girls and boys, he is not keen on continuing.

Even our boys brigade has girls and boys in it.

Girl guides are girls only with no equality issues - why can't there be boys only clubs?

AIBU?

As I say if there are boys only clubs please point them out to me.

OP posts:
CuppaTeaJanice · 01/01/2011 21:25

What about cadet type groups - I should imagine they would appeal more to boys, even if they let girls in.

Or maybe the freemasons have a junior section Hmm

reelingintheyears · 01/01/2011 21:25

My DD is 22 and was one of the first girls to go to cubs and scouts.
She loved it,she was not a 'girly girl' as you put it.More of a tomboy.
Boys don't tend to want to go to guides but the same isn't true for girls with scouts.

Difficult one.I don't think YABU but think it would be a shame to stop girls going to scouts.
Darn girls...they want equality Wink

southeastastra · 01/01/2011 21:26

football
cricket
rugby

so are the scouts mixed groups now?

MumNWLondon · 01/01/2011 21:26

YANBU. Don't really understand why they let girls into cubs and scouts, when there are brownies and guides.

reallytired · 01/01/2011 21:28

"They adore each other, but their friends are of the same sex, they have chosen to go to same sex schools."

It sounds like they NEED to mix with children of the opposite sex.

There are plenty activites which are predominately boys. For example my son's karate club is mostly boys. However the two girls who attend are welcome.

Why should children be shoehorned into "boys" activites and "girls" activites.

It sounds to me as if the problem is you. Rather than the fact that these clubs are mixed.

Original poster
notterrysmine · 01/01/2011 21:29

Even his rugby club has girls in it - and that has caused problems for the older boys, they scrum a girl then get embarrassed, and stand over them and say 'um er sorry about that, and offer them a hand to bring them up again'.

His football and cricket clubs don't.

OP posts:
pinkhebe · 01/01/2011 21:29

Keep trying with the scouts, there are girls at our troop/pack/group but my ds's LOVE it Grin

Is the leader male? ours is and he's also young and into Magic cards and the stuff they do isn't girlie at all

Imarriedafrog · 01/01/2011 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkhebe · 01/01/2011 21:30

Brownies and guides are boring that's why they want to join scouts Grin

Sirzy · 01/01/2011 21:30

YABU.

The activities a child decides to do shouldn't be restricted by the sex of the child but by the interests of the child.

Bownies/Guides and Scouts/Cubs although similar do differ in what they offer so everyone should have the choice.

SE13Mummy · 01/01/2011 21:30

I was about to post that the Boys' Brigade round here is very much for boys only but then saw that yours wasn't.... I don't know what to suggest. As a girl with two brothers I loved escaping to Brownies/Guides and, if I had boys of my own, would hope that they could have similar opportunities (escaping to boys' groups, not the Brownies!).

Are there no BB groups or Scout troops near you that are solely for boys?

RockinRobinBird · 01/01/2011 21:30

If he's not keen on doing clubs with girls then maybe you need to work on that because that sounds like his/your problem rather than theirs.

AnnieLobeseder · 01/01/2011 21:31

YABU. How are we supposed to each our children that boys and girls (and later on, men and women) are all people with equal roles in society?

There are no men's work places and women's work places. Your sons might as well learn early on how to mix with everyone.

I don't even like different boys and girls school uniforms, and boys and girls forming two lines when lining up. Mix 'em up in everything from the start, I say!

Original poster
notterrysmine · 01/01/2011 21:32

Ok so the sports are predominantly boys.

But a camp is going to be different with more girls than boys in it, or even a 50/50 split.

Girls can go off to camps with just girls why can't boys?

Cadets is good idea but unfortunately they don't start until 13/14 years.

OP posts:
flowerytaleofNewYork · 01/01/2011 21:33

Don't know if there are any but in a similar vein I am a member of a couple of women-only business networking groups which I feel uncomfortable about (though not enough to stop going Grin). A similar men-only group would be considered outrageous I imagine.

signet · 01/01/2011 21:33

my sons go to rainbows with their sister and love it there.

Of course they have no choice - I run it ! Grin

Are there any other local cub/scout groups nearby that are more boy heavy? My daughter goes to Beavers at the moment and there are very few girls in her pack - only about 4 out of 25 or so.

Pootles2010 · 01/01/2011 21:33

Exactly the case i think married. Brownies was ok, guides really boring, scouts was great. Oh and I'm afraid girls go to cadets too - I went to air cadets and loved it.

I think guides don't have boys simply because no one's asked, so its never been an issue.

Original poster
notterrysmine · 01/01/2011 21:33

But Annie - why with that logic is it okay for Guiding to be Girls only?

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SE13Mummy · 01/01/2011 21:34

I had no desire to go to Cubs/Scouts with my brothers, not least because the Guide Troop I was in was very outdoorsy and independent; lots of camping, hiking, campfires, orienteering and shelter-building. It's a shame if Guides and Scouts are now seen as offering very different opportunities and activities.

Original poster
notterrysmine · 01/01/2011 21:35

Unfortunately our two local scouting groups are all female led as well, which my ds has no issue with female teachers/leaders nor with girls being around (he does swimming) I just see his POV that they are catering from a more feminine aspect (activities are art/cookery based nothing wrong with this and nothing wrong with boys doing this, but he wants a couple of hours of camp craft, "boys stuff" for lack of better term)

OP posts:
Sirzy · 01/01/2011 21:36

If a boy wanted to join Guides I very much doubt they would be able to stop them.

As a youth leader of a group that has boys and girls I think its great for them to mix with people of other sexes and the idea of sending DS to a single sex group just doesn't sit right with me.

The only time I agree with it is in sports (well Rugby at least and I'm sure the others are the same) when in the ages 12 and over boys and girls are separated for obvious reasons.

AnnieLobeseder · 01/01/2011 21:36

I don't think it's OK for Guilding to be for girls. I think the whole Guide movement is an insult to women - a weedy watered-down version of scouts for the poor feeble girls who can't cope with the proper stuff the boys do.

I'm sure the Guide movement has come on somewhat since I was a girl, but back then we weren't even allowed to go camping in case we broke a nail!

Close down Guides, Brownies and Rainbows and put everyone together!

signet · 01/01/2011 21:37

nottery, I guess with women leading it and doing more feminine things its no wonder there are more girls there. Perhaps the issue is really more about getting men involved in the leadership of these groups so that they do cater for the boys?

Pootles2010 · 01/01/2011 21:37

Erm notterry thats an issue with the leaders then, not because they're female but because they aren't outdoorsy enough. Our scout group had female leaders, they were cavers, climbers, and mucked in camping just as much as the men did.

Original poster
notterrysmine · 01/01/2011 21:38

But cadets get separated (rightly in my eyes/wrongly in others) dependent on sex. There are girls only activities and boys only activities as well as stuff together.

One of my dd does cadets at the moment.

Happy medium I think that's called.

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