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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to sack the godparents?

134 replies

gotonenow · 29/12/2010 16:15

Hello everybody and happy Christmas (belated)! So, I was just wondering about Godparents. This is the situation. I was never bothered about our kids having them. I have always thought that they would probably have adults in their life apart from us but I couldn't predict now who they would be and selecting individuals as godparents wouldn't necessarily mean that those people turned out to be the important ones. Are you with me? We are also not Christian and the kids aren't Christened. However, as it turns out the Godparents have largely turned out to crap in most directions but particularly in the one area where they might have made an effort when the kids are young which is, I guess, giving presents. And having not wanted them in the first place I am now surprisingly hurt about that! I don't know why but I am taking it very personally indeed! Am I being unreasonable about this?

OP posts:
charliesmommy · 29/12/2010 16:17

How can your kids have godparents if they arent christened?

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2010 16:17

why do you have 'godparents' if they arent even christened????

godparents are to help the godchildren grow up within their religion....

i'm confused!!

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2010 16:18

you are upset some random adults are not showering your dc with presents???

TheMonster · 29/12/2010 16:19

They aren't godparents if you aren't religious in some form.

methsdrinker · 29/12/2010 16:20

Hi your post is a bit confused. How can you have god parents if the children aren't christened.

2rebecca · 29/12/2010 16:23

The role of godparents is to instruct your child in the Christian religion. And... that's it.
All the other stuff is optional extras. If your kids haven't been Christened though they won't have godparents in any meaningful sense.

rubyslippers · 29/12/2010 16:25

YABU

You sound upset because the godparents you have for your NON christened children haven't bought them gifts

Hmm
wigglesrock · 29/12/2010 16:28

Agree with other posters, how can you have godparents if the baby isn't christened Hmm Are they not just friends.

taintedsnow · 29/12/2010 16:28

Well since your DC aren't christened, they don't have Godparents, so there's no one to sack.

Secondly, you might want to give a bit more detail because at the moment you sound like a materialistic grasper, and I want to believe you're not....

Cutting people out of your DC's lives because they haven't given presents? Shame shame shame on you.

Georgimama · 29/12/2010 16:30

If you wanted godparents who would shower your children with expensive gifts, first you needed to have befriended Elton John (too late now, he's got one of his own) and second you needed to have them christened.

HTH.

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 16:38

What a lot of sanctimonious tosh has been written on this thread. It's perfectly acceptable nowadays for non-religious parents to choose godparents for their children, just as it's OK for them to celebrate Christmas and Easter and other non-Christian holidays. While it might have been strictly religious in the past, throughout my life the role of the godparents has become on to offer additional adult help and guidance in life in general, if needed, and to buy Christmas presents - YANBU.

saffy85 · 29/12/2010 16:39

I don't understand your predicament tbh. Your DC aren't christened so they have no godparents to sack. The purpose of godparents isn't to buy presents they're meant to look after a person's spiritual wellbeing. And stuff.

Basically you want to sack your mates for not buying a few poxy gifts for your DC. How strange.

taintedsnow · 29/12/2010 16:42

Fib, you think the OP is reasonable for wanting to cut people out for not buying her children presents? Really?!

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 16:42

From Wikipedia: Traditionally, godparents were informally responsible for ensuring the child's religious education was carried out, and for caring for the child should it be orphaned. Today, the word godparent might not have explicitly religious overtones. The modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2010 16:42

fibo.....surely you would invent a new name then.....take the god bit out??

how about 'giftparents'? are they used for any other purpose as well as present buying then? these non-religious godparents?

Georgimama · 29/12/2010 16:42

Indeed. And buying stuff has got what to do with that?

NinkyNonker · 29/12/2010 16:43

Godparents is the clue. Confused

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2010 16:43

lol...chosen by the parents....someone needs to tell these adults that they have been 'chosen' i think!!!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 29/12/2010 16:43

I have never heard of anyone who adheres to the tradition in the terms as described in Wiki!

A God Parent is just that! Otherwise it should be called a "Friend parent"!

TheMonster · 29/12/2010 16:44

Grin giftparents!!

2rebecca · 29/12/2010 16:45

I don't see the point of nonreligious godparents. I'm an atheist so my kids aren't christened. The people who buy them presents are the people who care about them, mainly relatives, plus my best friend. These are the people who will offer them help and guidance in life if need be. As your friendships change during your life I think allocating your friends a lifelong present buying role if non religious is a bit strange. If my friend and I fall out we won't have contact with each other's children so continuing to buy presents would be a bit odd.

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 16:45

she didn't say anything about cutting people out - she said she wanted to 'sack' them as godparents, doesn't mean they won't continue to be family friends, maybe she knows other people now who she thinks would do a better job.

I think good gift-giving is a key role of godparenting. and I was happy to be a godparent from birth to someone who wasn't baptised until they were 16 !

allnightlong · 29/12/2010 16:46

WTF 'sacking' pretend godparents because they aren't any good in gift giving. Fuck me I've heard it all now!

YABVU

ShoshanaBlue · 29/12/2010 16:47

Ah, so not really a godparent, just an 'auntie' in the sense of 'someone who plays bingo with me mam'.

Tell her that her presents are bobbins and no more bingo. Problem solved.

thederkinsdame · 29/12/2010 16:48

Ummm. The role of godparents is NOT to give good presents. They're not your own personal ELC, you know.

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