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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to sack the godparents?

134 replies

gotonenow · 29/12/2010 16:15

Hello everybody and happy Christmas (belated)! So, I was just wondering about Godparents. This is the situation. I was never bothered about our kids having them. I have always thought that they would probably have adults in their life apart from us but I couldn't predict now who they would be and selecting individuals as godparents wouldn't necessarily mean that those people turned out to be the important ones. Are you with me? We are also not Christian and the kids aren't Christened. However, as it turns out the Godparents have largely turned out to crap in most directions but particularly in the one area where they might have made an effort when the kids are young which is, I guess, giving presents. And having not wanted them in the first place I am now surprisingly hurt about that! I don't know why but I am taking it very personally indeed! Am I being unreasonable about this?

OP posts:
1234ThumbScrew · 29/12/2010 17:12

The point I meant to make was that I don't believe that it's that unusual to have non religious godparents.

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2010 17:13

1234....in her teens..you're sure??Grin

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 17:17

I do think that it is a general social convention that whether or not you are a 'religious' godparent, you are expected to buy a present for your godchild ... just as a grandparent would generally be expected to. That present does not need to be expensive, but it is a way of showing each year that you are aware that you have a special role in that child's life which differentiates you from other non-related adults.

I have always taken huge pleasure in choosing presents for my godchildren - and if all goes well in their lives, as I hope it will, that will probably be my biggest involvement (apart from sending congratulations on good exam results etc.).

oldandgreynow · 29/12/2010 17:26

What a grasper!!
Sounds like your DC does actually need godparents to give them a bit of moral guidance!

cupcakebakerer · 29/12/2010 17:27

I can't believe this thread is not a wind up!!!! To be frank I think it's disgusting that you think Godparents are there - in fact anyone is there - to buy your children presents! I do hope you have a rethink.

SantaIsMyLoveSlave · 29/12/2010 17:31

Right, am going to shout now.

THE OP IS PISSED OFF BECAUSE THE "GODPARENTS" ARE SHOWING NO INTEREST AT ALL IN THEIR "GODCHILDREN" AND IS ONLY MENTIONING THE PRESENTS AS ONE EXAMPLE OF THIS. AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO APPOINT "GODPARENTS" IN THE FIRST PLACE. SHE HAS EXPLAINED THIS SEVERAL TIMES.

This does not appear to me to be particularly "grasping" or "unbelievable". Is it really "unbelievable" to expect a godparent to show some small glimmer of interest in his/her godchild EVER?

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 17:32

Santa you speak good sense

TheMonster · 29/12/2010 17:33

I did ask earlier what the OP would like these adults to do for her children?

usualsuspect · 29/12/2010 17:34

What an odd thread ..I've never in all my life known anyone to appoint a godparent without the child being christened..would someone like to be my godparent and send me large presents please Grin

1234ThumbScrew · 29/12/2010 17:35

Ilovetiffany - hmm it does sound odd, but one of dd1s godparents is single and a DJ he 's not the sort to remember birthdays, but when she's in her teens he'll be great at music, clubbing advice etc.

We are very cool dontchno Smile.

cupcakebakerer · 29/12/2010 17:36

You're wrong Santa - she says that buying presents is the 'one area' she expects them to make an effort in when young.

catinthehat2 · 29/12/2010 17:37

Actually, while I have you all here, could you all help me with my problem please?

I'm a bit peeved that I can't get any money out of my bank's hole in the wall.

Admittedly I don't have an account with them, let alone pay my wages in there! hah, chance would be a fine thing! Still, I think the bank should be giving me the cash, don't you?

Anyone got any ideas, or come across something similar?

RockinRobinBird · 29/12/2010 17:37

This thread is bonkers and makes no sense. All I know is to have godparents you have to have been christened. Whatever you call the 'other adults' in your children's lives is up to you but they aren't godparents and aren't official, therefore you can do whatever the hell you like with them. No need for a thread on it.

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 17:38

cupcaker, what other areas could a godparent make an effort in easily then when children are very young?

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 17:39

So - do all you lot who think that godparents are purely the preserve of the pious think that none of us atheists should be allowed to, say, attend the school carol service?

Georgimama · 29/12/2010 17:41

And the thread just got weirder.

Imarriedafrog · 29/12/2010 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockinRobinBird · 29/12/2010 17:42

Fibonacci, talk sense. The clue is in the name. It's difficult to grasp, I know but concentrate hard... Hmm

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 17:45

RockinRobinBird - i refer you to my earlier point about Christmas.

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2010 17:48

catinthehat.....you need to get your children to try and get the money out of the wall....thats the key,use the children to grasp it!!

PenelopeTitsDropped · 29/12/2010 17:48

The role of a Godparent is to provide spiritual support to a child (in support of their religion) throughout their entire life; and as long as both their lives last.

A Godchild is for life and not just for Christmas.

But you don't have religion and therefore you just chose people that were friends at the time; but aren't so much now (if I've read it right). And gave it the name "Godparent"

So No. You can't really expect anything from them.

All you expected was a load of presents for your children; and the real gift would have been important people in their lives.

Imarriedafrog · 29/12/2010 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fibonacci · 29/12/2010 17:49

I think the meaning of the word has evolved over time ... I don't se the fairy godmother in Cinderella insisting on a course of religious instruction for poor Cinders before she turns the pumpkin into a coach and the mice into horses.

catinthehat2 · 29/12/2010 17:49

hehehehe!

usualsuspect · 29/12/2010 17:51

Oh I get it now the op wants a fairy godmother ..she should have said

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